Bipolar/Aspergers support and chat thread

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Thanks for clearing that up.

I think I have bipolar 1 with rapid cycling. I don't even want to admit to delusions because I don't think they are. I do have hallucinations though but they are not as prominent.

I'm trying to look for triggers to my rapid cycling but I'm finding it difficult. I can kind of stop it if I don't begin arguing or if I notice that I'm simply arguing because something triggered a mood and then I just pull away from it. I think the usual triggers could set off both.

How often to you cycle when you speak about rapid cycling?
Because I think I develeped rapid cycling, but my cycles still last several weeks at the moment.

rapid cycling is 4+ episodes a year, ultra rapid cycling is days, ultra ultra rapid/ultradian cycling is more than one episode in a day. I tend to shift between ultra rapid and ultradian.

It's difficult for me to describe because I think I'm dealing with many lengths of time, and cycles within cycles. I'm going through a depressive period. It's been pretty bad in the last four months. From my mood chart I seem to be changing daily. Off meds I seem to have longer lasting periods. I can be hypomanic over days and then cycle between one mood into another over minutes and seconds.

But with the meds it's hard to tell. Any of my level and motivated moods are on medication. I need to start charting only when I'm not on medication, but then, I forget. I didn't chart any of the hypomania I felt yesterday and then because of the stupid things I said I turned to regret, anger and finally depression.

Sometimes the symptoms will take away the meds effectiveness too. I can have a week and a half of barely feeling the meds because of hypomania. They tend to work better for depression.

I need to get better at keeping track of my moods.

I'm an ultrarapid cycler, my moods last days. I really need to get back to recording moods though. Man, I keep forgetting.

I am so happy that I have found people who are just like me here. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 years ago. I don't like this at all. However, I have made up mind that this is something I will have to deal with and I am trying very hard to make changes because I don't want to be this way. Communicating and chatting with others helps me alot....

Nikki

Welcome. Bipolar 2 here as well, and it is not fun. I don't like it much either. Nice to talk to other people with bipolar.

I really don't know what I am. All I know is that I have the ability to turn pain into something I like. I have never cut myself although, when I pop a zit, I go back and make sure all the puss is out. I am also a violinist so maybe that has something to do with it. Anyway, when I feel pain, it feels good after I feel the initial sensation. I'm not sure if the pain is turning to a good feeling at the same time as the good feeling, or just a split second after. I would very much like to find out what kind of person I am so that I may have peace of mind. If anybody can help with this, I'd be much obliged.

I think that this trait can be associated with ASD (autism/aspergers/autism spectrum disorders). When I am anxious popping pimples, scratching at my face, tearing pieces off my lips, scratching at my hair, chewing my nails to the stubs, etc. calms me down even though I am simultaneously causing myself pain. I don't really understand the mechanism of this but I think it is associated with other disorders but is also a disorder within itself (although is less frequently diagnosed as a separate disorder).

I have it with my teethridge. Having trouble to brush my teeth, but when something hurts there it feels good. Interestingly when I took antipsychotics for a short period of time I didn't have those trouble anymore.
So I guess with autistics it's primarily a sensation issue.

I was kind of stable since weeks (not totally) and than on wednessday we went out with my course from university.
I drank one(!) beer and after a walk home I was at home at 1 am and since that I feel terrible. Not it's a bit better, but still not good. Especially low energy. It feels like a hang over for days.
Why is that?

I get that with one standard drink (it lasts days for me too), but that's partly because the alcohol interacts badly with seroquel to produce an extra strong sedating effect. Are you on seroquel?

Prior to taking medication alcohol always influenced my moods quite strongly - it would normally take only about 1 standard drink to set me off. Normally I would go the other way though - I'd have the one drink and then become manic, and people would think I was completely drunk because of my crazy behaviour. I wouldn't be hungover the next day at all because I had hardly drunk anything. Occasionally though I would swing the other way, and after a drink or two I would become extremely depressed. I remember once in college I went semi psychotic and was flailing about and sobbing uncontrollably, babbling about how much I hated myself, and three or four people had to carry me up to my room and put me to bed.

No.
Well I have a lot a problem with my energy level and have to look not to have a stressfull life and so on, but when I don't go to bed on time and/or have alcohol it's extreme.

hypomania, 1 am and I feel like party.

But no need to worry, I'll see my therapist tomorrow.

Am on lamictal and keep going in and out of terrible depression like from one minute to the next. Is this normal 1 week in?

I had some odd things happen for a few weeks after starting Lamictal. Well into my middle age, the irritability and moodiness of my BPD2 became a serious job issue, so I went back on meds.

Anyway, I would get these flashes of anger that were physically uncomfortable. It was like the monster was giving up, but still lashed out.

My psych diagnosis is "Bipolar Disorder, NOS". Even though I rarely, if ever, get real Hypomania, the devastating lifelong depression cycles convinced my doctor of the diagnosis.

I did have the most lovely spell of undeniable Hypomania during a trial of Strattera. It only lasted two months but if I could have lived my life like that, I might have been President haha.