Bipolar/Aspergers support and chat thread

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Pain of mind. I'm in a constant state of pain in my very own mind from these contrasts of mental illness pulling and shedding myself. My focus is constantly depleting. As i write this it seems like a struggle, and writing is one of my main interests. I hate school, i hate my house, i hate this life,but im persevering. I just cant explain anything right now.

Hello, I was diagnosed with having AS this year, and did online tests for bi-polar, it said i most probably had it. I had a few episodes where i ran away from my workplace and where i lived, and went to a different country. would these episodes count as manic episodes? or symptoms of Aspergers?

it would be great if anyone could advise me.

thanks alot.

I just have elaborated, what more is there to say? I dont want to give too many personal info, but you can make a picture of my behaviour.

thanx.
ok i will elaborate.
I worked abroad and was beginnning to cry sponataneously when i had the chance to relax at the beach. this had been going on for a few times, then suddenly i began to withdraw from socialising after work, someone asked what was wrong with me, but i couldn't say that there was anything wrong.
I was teaching golf and then one day i began to not contact work while they were expecting me back. i began to develop a phobia of contacting them, a few days later i turned up and got told off.
then week later i started drinking to relax and destress myself,one morning i decided to leave everything and just go, no goodbyes nothing.
i took next plane to england and avoided contact altogether.

this behavior caused me financial problems and emotional ones, a few weeks later i was referred to a clinic for a assessment for Autism, it was Aspergers. since then i feel alot better but still need assessment for Bi-polar, as test i did online,said i most probably had it.

I would appreciate any advice given,thanks.

I was diagnosed bipolar in 2008. So.... I am currently in a manic episode. I think it started a week ago, but maybe earlier. My mood and energy just ramped up and up and I was writing so much music, I was working on this string quartet that just kept getting more and more complicated until now it's so convoluted that a human violinist could never play it. I haven't slept more than a few hours here and there since last Sunday. I am usually pretty shy and keep to myself but this past week I talked to ALL my classmates at university, hung out with some of them, and now they think I'm hilarious and should start a twitter. For my orchestration class I was supposed to arrange a baroque string quartet into an arrangement for modern string orchestra but all the professor expected us to do was add a second violin part and choose which part to double... well, I rewrote the entire piece and made it better. Because of course I'm better than Handel, lol. Oh, and I got a tattoo.

Somewhere around Thursday/yesterday I started getting this idea that maybe there was something special about the music interval perfect fifth. ALL of the music I've been listening to lately has either a perfect fifth or a running fifth sequence and I started thinking maybe there was some secret about the fifth and if I could just figure it out I would crack the code and be able to write a song that will revolutionize music. I've been up at night trying to figure this out.

Well, I'm not so far gone that I don't realize that maybe that sounds a little crazy, but yesterday I felt absolutely like I was going to explode into a million pieces because my body just couldn't contain how much energy I had so I tried to call my psychiatrist (should have done that earlier) but it's Thanksgiving weekend in Canada so she was away until Tuesday. By the evening I was sure I was going to go insane before Tuesday so I went to the hospital because they have a psych emerg and I figured the doctor would know which meds to tweak until I could see my psychiatrist on Tuesday.

I couldn't sit down at the hospital. I paced and wrote music on manuscript paper for the entire 5 hour wait. The psych doc talked to me for a while and told me I was manic. I mentioned the perfect fifth thing, because especially while I was in the hospital I was starting to become convinced that once I figured out the secret of the fifth I could heal all these sick people BUT I AM STILL AWARE THAT'S CRAZY and he told me it was just the mania. He gave me sleeping pills and told me to come back if it got worse.

I went to the pharmacy today to fill the prescription for sleeping pills and the pharmacist talked to me for 5 minutes and could tell I was manic. When I first walked in he asked my medical history so I mentioned bipolar, and he said "Have you ever had a full manic episode?" And I said yes. Then he looked at me for a minute and said "Um... are you having one now?" and I was like HAHA YOU CAUGHT ME. I did not realize I was so obviously manic that a PHARMACIST could tell. I wonder what my classmates think.

I'm slightly less crazy tonight, I'm hoping the extra meds will help until I can see my psychiatrist. I've banned myself from writing music because I'm trying NOT to get sucked into the perfect fifth obsession. It's so SEDUCTIVE to feel like YOU PERSONALLY have the answer to life.

So hi bipolar support thread. How are the rest of you?

^^^^^

I hope you get better soon I can relate to much of what you write , are you up for a holiday I ended up in Switzerland , now I may go their sane this time

My boyfriend is suffering from his bipolar disorder now: Severe depression. His psychiatrist will be prescribing him electroconvulsive therapy. Do any of you have experience with that, and if so, could you please tell if it worked for you, what it did?