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Raziel
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01 Jan 2013, 8:12 am

sunshower wrote:
I know what you mean - the Christmas/New Year period has completely destabilized me.


Well, I also had the flue over Christmas and alltogether was just too much. :cry:

I think more and more (again ;) ) that the Bipolar suspicion is correct. :?
I have an operation in a view months and my psychiatrist first wants to look then how I'm doing and give me lithium then, if I need it. I made good experiences with lithium orotate, I once took for a while. At the moment I just take agomelatonine, but I had a lot of trouble with antidepressents in the past and I'm mostly stable at the moment.
I had a trauma for a long time, but I mostly don't have the trauma anymore, I was lucky. But this pushed my Bipolar at this time. My half brother had schizophrenia and my other brother had ADHD as a child, so Bipolar is not that far away...!


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Raziel
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07 Jan 2013, 8:25 pm

Bad depressions after my friend died January 2nd. :cry:


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sunshower
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08 Jan 2013, 1:12 am

Raziel wrote:
Bad depressions after my friend died January 2nd. :cry:


Oh, I am so sorry. That is terrible. You have my deepest condolences.


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24 Jan 2013, 8:58 am

I was diagnosed bipolar and with Asperger's last year. I always thought I was "normal" (at least, for an educated musician). I would have rather talked to someone, but, instead I get put on antidepressants, which just made matters worse. I realize that medicine has it uses (like insulin for diabetes, etc.). But why do the neurotypicals insist on forcing us to be normal. Some of the world's greatest achievements were performed by those who suffered depression (or the black dog, as Sir Winston Churchill called depression.). Some are born to greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them, someone once said. Why can't we be left alone to live in peace?



Raziel
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24 Jan 2013, 12:39 pm

Meistersinger wrote:
But why do the neurotypicals insist on forcing us to be normal.


Most of the time (if you are a grown up at least) they are just trying to force us.

My mom thought very long actually that the most difficult time in my life was my early childhood. I was nonverbal and clearly autistic with a tendency to routines. But actially it was the nicesed time in my life. I could just be me and even didn't notice that others are different or want me to be like them. This all didn't exist. I was just a happy little kid with kid problems I was worrying about, if I worried at all.

Then I grew up and I understood I had to be "normal" and that were the problems began.
Before I understood that myself other kids weren't even picking on me, nothing. Because I was TOO DIFFERENT for them.

Personally for me ASD is not really a problem, it first gets a problem interacting with others, but me having multiple problems Bipolar/depression is the one I like last.
If there would be a possibility to "cure" me, with ASD I propably even would say: "no", because it's just me and I can't imagine myself any different, but with Bipolar/depression I would like that cure any minute.
So it's different for everyone.

But I'm also taking hardly any meds because of my depression, because I was stable for months and will propably have an operation next month. Also I reacted very bad to most meds I was given in the past. So my shrink and I propably want to look in the lithium direction after the operation.
So for me meds would be nice, but right now not a good option and have to deal with it for the next weeks...!

I also "just" have a depression dx at the moment and a bipolar suspicion, more is looked into after the operation. But it's pretty sure that I have it. I was reading to my mom the most common comorbidities in addition to ASD and there was also "Bipolar" and she said: "Oh, Bipolar, I knew it" and I asked her "why?" and she just said: "well the mood swings sooooooome autistic people have, yoooouuuuu know!?" and I knew she ment me. 8O
(she doesn't know that I have a bipolar suspicion from a shrink, I didn't wanted to tell her so long I don't have a "real" diagnosis.)

I also can't understand how someone can "like" depression!? :?


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OfTheWillowFae
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28 Jan 2013, 8:25 am

purchase wrote:
It's just exhausting.

I think the bipolar pattern is basically a post-traumatic stress reaction that only compounds itself with time. I wonder how to get out of it. My environment was significantly more stressful than it should have been. I avoid saying that cause I don't want to be whiny and ungrateful but come on. Can't solve this if I don't get at its mechanism. Anyway. How to get out of it. The pattern is: expend all your energy on fight-or-flight response, then lie low exhausted, repeat. I need to get out of it. I feel like I am without end getting put through a meat grinder and then miraculously finding myself in one piece again only to get ground up again. The joy of finding yourself in one piece is not something someone should experience more than a few times in a lifetime cause it means you keep dying. I feel like I've lived a lot of lifetimes and I don't want to have. I want to live my real life.


This is practically my life the past few years. I am still dealing with it, too. I want my real life, the one I was supposed to have. I fight for it everyday, and I am so effing tired.



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09 Feb 2013, 1:56 am

Hi everyone, I'm new. I'm very Bipolar I w/ rapid cycling, and very Aspergers with AQ = 47 and "Your Aspie Score" of 174 / 200.

Every few hours I'll forget about the 'other' diagnosis and life just seems so simple :) It's amazing to find everyone here as I've done much searching... I'm relieved that I'm not alone. Profound and very powerful.

Any wisdom that comes from experience with this unique combination of diagnoses would be great to hear, any at all. Since we're all stuck here together, I would like to learn everything I can for those who have already experienced it. Like many, I've had many hospitalizations (maybe 7 in the past 4-5 years) and know what that whole process is like. I'm less experienced with recognizing and regulating Aspie qualities and limitations that really affect me. >> Is there a good central resource that Aspies use as a '101' guide to the most common stressors, etc, or are we all just different enough to make that impractical?

How many aspie / bipolar I people are in therapy as part of treatment plan?

And... as bipolar people we all know about the meds. Does your MD alter meds to take Aspergers symptoms into account??

thanks so much..


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Raziel
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09 Feb 2013, 2:12 am

bonsai wrote:
Hi everyone, I'm new. I'm very Bipolar I w/ rapid cycling, and very Aspergers with AQ = 47 and "Your Aspie Score" of 174 / 200.


A lot of Aspies with Bipolar seem to be ultra rapid cycling.
At least what I read.

I'm not though.

bonsai wrote:
How many aspie / bipolar I people are in therapy as part of treatment plan?


Okay, Bipolar II, but I'm not in therapy. I go to a psychiatrist all view weeks. All six weeks or something.
He would like that I also go into therapy, but I don't want to.

bonsai wrote:
And... as bipolar people we all know about the meds. Does your MD alter meds to take Aspergers symptoms into account??


I can't really answer you that, because I've an operation next week and my psychiatrist and I first want to look after the operation into lithium or whatever. At the moment I'm just on agomelatonine. But I don't know how important it really is to take ASD into account, while treating Bipolar!?
I could imagine, having just some symptoms left as an adult, it's not that important anymore in my case. Having severe ASD, it propably neet to be taken more in account. (See my scores in the signature)


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sunshower
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09 Feb 2013, 8:15 am

OfTheWillowFae wrote:
purchase wrote:
It's just exhausting.

I think the bipolar pattern is basically a post-traumatic stress reaction that only compounds itself with time. I wonder how to get out of it. My environment was significantly more stressful than it should have been. I avoid saying that cause I don't want to be whiny and ungrateful but come on. Can't solve this if I don't get at its mechanism. Anyway. How to get out of it. The pattern is: expend all your energy on fight-or-flight response, then lie low exhausted, repeat. I need to get out of it. I feel like I am without end getting put through a meat grinder and then miraculously finding myself in one piece again only to get ground up again. The joy of finding yourself in one piece is not something someone should experience more than a few times in a lifetime cause it means you keep dying. I feel like I've lived a lot of lifetimes and I don't want to have. I want to live my real life.


This is practically my life the past few years. I am still dealing with it, too. I want my real life, the one I was supposed to have. I fight for it everyday, and I am so effing tired.


Agreed 100%. Feeling really fed up today - I'm exhausted but I can't sleep, my mind is sped up, but I feel depressed simultaneously.


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sunshower
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09 Feb 2013, 8:21 am

bonsai wrote:
Hi everyone, I'm new. I'm very Bipolar I w/ rapid cycling, and very Aspergers with AQ = 47 and "Your Aspie Score" of 174 / 200.

Every few hours I'll forget about the 'other' diagnosis and life just seems so simple :) It's amazing to find everyone here as I've done much searching... I'm relieved that I'm not alone. Profound and very powerful.

Any wisdom that comes from experience with this unique combination of diagnoses would be great to hear, any at all. Since we're all stuck here together, I would like to learn everything I can for those who have already experienced it. Like many, I've had many hospitalizations (maybe 7 in the past 4-5 years) and know what that whole process is like. I'm less experienced with recognizing and regulating Aspie qualities and limitations that really affect me. >> Is there a good central resource that Aspies use as a '101' guide to the most common stressors, etc, or are we all just different enough to make that impractical?

How many aspie / bipolar I people are in therapy as part of treatment plan?

And... as bipolar people we all know about the meds. Does your MD alter meds to take Aspergers symptoms into account??

thanks so much..


Glad that the thread has been of use to you. Yes it is an unusual diagnostic combination (AS and bipolar) but we're definitely out there. Like you, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 ultra to ultra ultra rapid cycling and Aspergers Syndrome (diagnosed Aspergers age 12, bipolar age 23). I wish there was a good sort of AS/Bipolar guide or anything of the like but I never found anything before I started this thread except for singular threads under the other Psychological Conditions topic heading in WP.

I've written a lot in here about my experiences I think but basically it often feels to me like Aspergers and Bipolar are oppositional symptoms, and as such one can balance out the other. Most specifically - irrational thoughts, ideas, and emotional surges brought about by the bipolar can be studied in an analytic detached fashion typical of Aspergers style thinking and thus discounted. Basically, Aspergers thought patterns are a good protective measure against bipolar impulse.


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bonsai
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16 Feb 2013, 1:21 am

i agree here, I also feel the same



Angel_ryan wrote:
Hal420 wrote:
Was searching for other autistic bipolar people. The natural bipolar people seem to exist on a different planet where I do not belong.


I feel the same

sunshower wrote:

Welcome! alien Other bipolar/AS people have said the same, although I am newly diagnosed bipolar and I've never actually met any straight bipolar people. Except maybe my mum who we suspect may have undiagnosed bipolar (she is definitely NT). When she swings she has a tendency to be extremely manipulative and verbally abusive - sometimes borderline sociopathic - but with NO insight whatsoever (she is downright delusional). To clarify, my mum is a very loving and truly wonderful person who has this come over her once every few years, like a sickness, and I have learned to not hold her responsible for her actions during this time (zero insight/delusional).

I however am currently an ultra ultra rapid cycler (several times a day), although this is not actually the difference between us. When I cycle I become extremely childlike - either on a "red cordial" high or curled up in a corner crying/hating myself/wanting to die low. Very occasionally I get bursts of anger but they present similar to a meltdown where I'm crying, quickly becoming incoherent, and rocking. The manipulativeness just doesn't happen. In fact, when I swing I seem LESS manipulative than usual and more like pure emotion. Its like I become more autistic.


My mom is pretty crazy too. She's very verbally abusive and hates it when I have sensory overload. She doesn't stop yelling at me when I beg her to stop or when I shut down completely. I'd be able to manage it better if I got away from her but it's hard to do with my LDs and depression. I also cycle very rapidly as well. I don't experience complete detachment from reality so I have insight into my delusions/paranoia. I'm usually depressed or sometimes hypo manic.


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bonsai
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16 Feb 2013, 1:58 am

Quote:
The whole bipolar concept is artificial. It only can be seen as an continuum and science is doing that more and more.


I have to completely disagree with you.

It seems as if you've had no personal experience (first or third person) with this diagnosis - it's devastating. I'd urge you explore.


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bonsai
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16 Feb 2013, 2:11 am

Raziel wrote:
Bad depressions after my friend died January 2nd. :cry:


While the only person who knows how that feels is you, my thoughts of stability and health are with you.


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bonsai
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16 Feb 2013, 2:16 am

sunshower wrote:
bonsai wrote:
Hi everyone, I'm new. I'm very Bipolar I w/ rapid cycling, and very Aspergers with AQ = 47 and "Your Aspie Score" of 174 / 200.

Every few hours I'll forget about the 'other' diagnosis and life just seems so simple :) It's amazing to find everyone here as I've done much searching... I'm relieved that I'm not alone. Profound and very powerful.

Any wisdom that comes from experience with this unique combination of diagnoses would be great to hear, any at all. Since we're all stuck here together, I would like to learn everything I can for those who have already experienced it. Like many, I've had many hospitalizations (maybe 7 in the past 4-5 years) and know what that whole process is like. I'm less experienced with recognizing and regulating Aspie qualities and limitations that really affect me. >> Is there a good central resource that Aspies use as a '101' guide to the most common stressors, etc, or are we all just different enough to make that impractical?

How many aspie / bipolar I people are in therapy as part of treatment plan?

And... as bipolar people we all know about the meds. Does your MD alter meds to take Aspergers symptoms into account??

thanks so much..


Glad that the thread has been of use to you. Yes it is an unusual diagnostic combination (AS and bipolar) but we're definitely out there. Like you, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 ultra to ultra ultra rapid cycling and Aspergers Syndrome (diagnosed Aspergers age 12, bipolar age 23). I wish there was a good sort of AS/Bipolar guide or anything of the like but I never found anything before I started this thread except for singular threads under the other Psychological Conditions topic heading in WP.

I've written a lot in here about my experiences I think but basically it often feels to me like Aspergers and Bipolar are oppositional symptoms, and as such one can balance out the other. Most specifically - irrational thoughts, ideas, and emotional surges brought about by the bipolar can be studied in an analytic detached fashion typical of Aspergers style thinking and thus discounted. Basically, Aspergers thought patterns are a good protective measure against bipolar impulse.



I couldn't believe it when I found this thread... everywhere I've looked in the past has been so general and not dedicated to these two DX's. I'm very grateful, it was a great idea :)


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bonsai
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16 Feb 2013, 2:25 am

sunshower wrote:
YourMajesty wrote:
My boyfriend is suffering from his bipolar disorder now: Severe depression. His psychiatrist will be prescribing him electroconvulsive therapy. Do any of you have experience with that, and if so, could you please tell if it worked for you, what it did?


I know two people who've had it and both say it was painless and really helpful to them.


I know it's not October 2012 anymore, but I've had ECT for treatment refractory/resistant bipolar stuff and it REALLY screwed with my memories all the way back to childhood, I'm more prone to getting lost, etc, etc (it was unilateral, as is normal now). I had it three years ago now and had it about 25-30 times, 3x per week for 5 to 6 weeks. It did not help bipolar depression or bipolar mania at all. So anyone who's taken ALL the meds and is still really suffering and their psych suggests ECT because they're at the end of the line with treatment options, please really consider possible side effects.

I listened to my doc carefully despite being so depressed for so long and decided that the benefits did indeed outweigh the costs. I couldn't have know it, but I was wrong. Please do research to make sure it's what you want.

If your boyfriend is like me, he won't care what they do to him as long as there exists the possibility for ANY KIND of relief. I understand, but if he's like me, he could use your help in making as many choices that are in his best interest now as possible.


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sunshower
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16 Feb 2013, 11:14 pm

bonsai wrote:
sunshower wrote:
YourMajesty wrote:
My boyfriend is suffering from his bipolar disorder now: Severe depression. His psychiatrist will be prescribing him electroconvulsive therapy. Do any of you have experience with that, and if so, could you please tell if it worked for you, what it did?


I know two people who've had it and both say it was painless and really helpful to them.


I know it's not October 2012 anymore, but I've had ECT for treatment refractory/resistant bipolar stuff and it REALLY screwed with my memories all the way back to childhood, I'm more prone to getting lost, etc, etc (it was unilateral, as is normal now). I had it three years ago now and had it about 25-30 times, 3x per week for 5 to 6 weeks. It did not help bipolar depression or bipolar mania at all. So anyone who's taken ALL the meds and is still really suffering and their psych suggests ECT because they're at the end of the line with treatment options, please really consider possible side effects.

I listened to my doc carefully despite being so depressed for so long and decided that the benefits did indeed outweigh the costs. I couldn't have know it, but I was wrong. Please do research to make sure it's what you want.

If your boyfriend is like me, he won't care what they do to him as long as there exists the possibility for ANY KIND of relief. I understand, but if he's like me, he could use your help in making as many choices that are in his best interest now as possible.


Thankyou very much for sharing this, it's very important to have information about the potential dangers of ECT. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, it must be very frustrating for you. I am extremely thankful that my medication did finally come together (we had reached a point where we were starting to despair because although I'd only been seeing him a year I had had appointments on a weekly basis (every week) and we had tried nearly all the different medication combinations (except for the more heavy duty anti-psychotics, which we knew already would be no good as I had extreme negative reactions to all the lighter anti-psychotics we tried except seroquel).

My current meds are seroquel, very low dose of lamictal (a standard dose triggered mania), epilim, thyroxin (seemed to help with the rapid cycling), and a low dose of ritalin. Ritalin is normally the last drug you would give to someone with bipolar but as I have ADHD I really needed to be on it because the bipolar swings exacerbated the ADHD symptoms. Taking a low dose of it and also taking slow release was enough to stop it triggering mania - the other stabilizing medication also helps.


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