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Otherside
Snowy Owl
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16 Jul 2013, 6:32 am

Hypomanic right now...I could become president on this.

In other news, I missed by meds last night. Mostly because I was too happy that I forgot to take them, but nevertheless, this probably won't end will. And I'm mentally telling myself I'm an idiot whilst celebrating the fact...that I am an idiot, for some reason.



Cfroi
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21 Jul 2013, 7:47 am

Right at the depressive episode now. I could nearly lose my job during the probation period now. It's a concern, but not the biggest. In these two months of depression, I have talked a lot with my mom. Today she cried in tears by worrying me too much. Because I have talked too much about my dream of becoming a hermit or a monk, disregarding all career, marriage, raising baby, etc events. I have no interest on any of the social status that everyone want, but this mindset is hurting my mom and contradicting expectations of my family.

Should I hide my emotions from her until that depressive episode passed? Where can I find a place to retreat and a land of eternal peace? I am puzzled.


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You are sort of neurotypical but shows signs of autism. You probably enjoy intellectual activities more than socializing or maybe you enjoy socializing, but you aren't genius at it. You could be autistic, but may not be.


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21 Jul 2013, 7:51 am

Raziel wrote:
hypomania, 1 am and I feel like party. :mrgreen:

But no need to worry, I'll see my therapist tomorrow.

It's great to have hypomania mode. I am quite envy of you.


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William
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My NT score: 35%
You are sort of neurotypical but shows signs of autism. You probably enjoy intellectual activities more than socializing or maybe you enjoy socializing, but you aren't genius at it. You could be autistic, but may not be.


HopefulFlower
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05 Aug 2013, 5:25 pm

Hey, I have been diagnosed with both bipolar I and aspergers/ASD. I've been on this dose of my antidepressant that work wonders. I was not depressed nor manic and was trying to convince myself I did not have bipolar, it was just puberty, and talk my psyche out of the diagnosis. BUT but for some reason I was feeling drugged out. But just before we raised my antidepressant dose I was depressed and now that we've dropped it (Because of the drugged feeling) I feel depressed again and still drugged out so we're going back up. It's clearly not the problem. I'm just tired I think.

Anyway yea I'm really depressed right now... :(


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Otherside
Snowy Owl
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06 Aug 2013, 10:47 am

HopefulFlower wrote:
Hey, I have been diagnosed with both bipolar I and aspergers/ASD. I've been on this dose of my antidepressant that work wonders. I was not depressed nor manic and was trying to convince myself I did not have bipolar, it was just puberty, and talk my psyche out of the diagnosis. BUT but for some reason I was feeling drugged out. But just before we raised my antidepressant dose I was depressed and now that we've dropped it (Because of the drugged feeling) I feel depressed again and still drugged out so we're going back up. It's clearly not the problem. I'm just tired I think.

Anyway yea I'm really depressed right now... :(


Not meaning to alarm you, but are you on a mood stabilizer as well as an antidepressant? If you're bipolar, then you need to be careful with antidepresants. They can trigger a manic episode, or make bipolar worse, or cause it to start rapid cycling.



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30 Sep 2013, 1:48 pm

glow wrote:
Mania right, is just one sign of depression, there are many problems that exist but people don't face up to them, rather let someone else sort them out. there are loads of signs of an illness you cant take for granted and whilst some may appear to most people 'mild' coz they're not the ones faking it, to the person a sign all is not going very well, may be another. attention difficulties and mood swings, are something which we all must bear but in which the bearer finds it harder to concentrate and listen at the same time. my listening skills are better than most peoples, but when you don't face up to your inner problems you face monthly, you end up making yourself look and appear stupid in front of others.
I am comfortable within myself and don't suffer rapid nervous breakdowns due to power struggles.
If a person cant accept me for who I am , warts an all, they are then just being callous at interpreting things from close range. I think people who are depressed for instance should just grow up, I suffered years of it, and I got though the darkness and back into the light again.
I don't let anyone take me down and if anyone tries to , they will be coming down with me.


I'm afraid you're wrong.

Mania is NOT a sign of depression, and is more a sign of Bipolar disorder (Which is different, and uncurable, although I suppose I should face up to that too? Hmm, guess I'll go tell a few heart patients that later...face up to your problems! Don't go through surgery, don't go to hospital, face up to them!

There's a lot more I could say to you on that post, and it's pretty obvious you have no clue what bipolar is if you think "mania" is a sign of depression. To be quite frank, I don't see the point. Good for you. You've recovered. From something that wasn't bipolar disorder. Now can you please back off and let me try to deal with my own illness?

(BTW...I quite literally couldn't give a f**k what people think when I'm manic. And I'm still trying to recover from some of the things I did whilst manic. So don't talk to me about being unable to accept when other people think, and how that will cure my mania.)



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30 Sep 2013, 2:05 pm

Otherside wrote:
Good for you. You've recovered. From something that wasn't bipolar disorder. Now can you please back off and let me try to deal with my own illness?


"A naturalistic study from first admission for mania or mixed episode (representing the hospitalized and therefore most severe cases) found that 50% achieved syndromal recovery (no longer meeting criteria for the diagnosis) within six weeks and 98% within two years. Within two years, 72% achieved symptomatic recovery (no symptoms at all) and 43% achieved functional recovery (regaining of prior occupational and residential status). However, 40% went on to experience a new episode of mania or depression within 2 years of syndromal recovery, and 19% switched phases without recovery."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_di ... recurrence


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glow
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30 Sep 2013, 4:44 pm

Otherside wrote:

I'm afraid you're wrong.

Mania is NOT a sign of depression, and is more a sign of Bipolar disorder (Which is different, and uncurable, although I suppose I should face up to that too? Hmm, guess I'll go tell a few heart patients that later...face up to your problems! Don't go through surgery, don't go to hospital, face up to them!

There's a lot more I could say to you on that post, and it's pretty obvious you have no clue what bipolar is if you think "mania" is a sign of depression. To be quite frank, I don't see the point. Good for you. You've recovered. From something that wasn't bipolar disorder. Now can you please back off and let me try to deal with my own illness?

(BTW...I quite literally couldn't give a f**k what people think when I'm manic. And I'm still trying to recover from some of the things I did whilst manic. So don't talk to me about being unable to accept when other people think, and how that will cure my mania.)


I was not referring to you was I? more likely myself. Of course though, when we are being depressed it does feel like your at worlds end or there has been an abomination of some kind. some adult processes may not be working correctly. Also, it is not uncommon to also have a diagnosis of autism/aspergers as it can help the individual deal with their own personal illness.
I've had hypomania before, so its best to seek help when you need it.

A link which helped me - http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Mixed_Stat ... _Aspergers



Otherside
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01 Oct 2013, 7:41 am

glow wrote:
Otherside wrote:

I'm afraid you're wrong.

Mania is NOT a sign of depression, and is more a sign of Bipolar disorder (Which is different, and uncurable, although I suppose I should face up to that too? Hmm, guess I'll go tell a few heart patients that later...face up to your problems! Don't go through surgery, don't go to hospital, face up to them!

There's a lot more I could say to you on that post, and it's pretty obvious you have no clue what bipolar is if you think "mania" is a sign of depression. To be quite frank, I don't see the point. Good for you. You've recovered. From something that wasn't bipolar disorder. Now can you please back off and let me try to deal with my own illness?

(BTW...I quite literally couldn't give a f**k what people think when I'm manic. And I'm still trying to recover from some of the things I did whilst manic. So don't talk to me about being unable to accept when other people think, and how that will cure my mania.)


I was not referring to you was I? more likely myself. Of course though, when we are being depressed it does feel like your at worlds end or there has been an abomination of some kind. some adult processes may not be working correctly. Also, it is not uncommon to also have a diagnosis of autism/aspergers as it can help the individual deal with their own personal illness.
I've had hypomania before, so its best to seek help when you need it.

A link which helped me - http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Mixed_Stat ... _Aspergers


My apologies if my post offended you. It was late last night when I made that and well...I suppose I presumed to quickly that you were one of those people who try and convince me that mental illness is just another way of classing people who are not "normal" and that I therefore, do not need help. I see enough of those people on the internet as it is. For some reason, the web is full of people (mostly teenagers) who will post how proud they are to have bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, etc etc and that they simply are different and there is nothing wrong with them. So I'm sorry if my comment was slightly harsh.



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03 Oct 2013, 10:16 pm

I've had Aspergers since I was a child. I was wrongly diagnosed however with ADD and given medication for it as a child, which naturally did nothing for me. Recently I visited a psychologist because I was tired of being unable to communicate properly with other people, my social skills being terrible and my insensitivity towards people's feelings made communication difficult. I have a natural bluntness about me that people like to call "no filter" I say what i think and I don't sugar coat it. My issues have caused massive problems in my relationships, I have very few friends because of it and the fact that I lack in that ability to socialize. I was happy to find this website because there are others with the same problems. The psychologist I visited tested me and realized my ADD/OCD symptoms were very easily solved, it wasn't that I had either of these two disorders it was that I had Aspergers, and most likely had it as a child as well because of my background. Unfortunately it was never properly treated and developed further as I grew into an adult.



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04 Oct 2013, 4:17 am

Aspergers is not an illness. Although to one person, that person who's got it, may think differently.
http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Aspergers_in_Girls that link helps to distinguish what it is.
Back in my day teachers and other pupils were too ignorant and self complacent to think what may not be their problem but their pupils. I had exceptionally awful times at school, I mean I was bullied every day and that including anything, just to mimic a reaction or try and figure out why I was the way I was.
There was no placid common sense behind their reasoning only that I was being odd and unreasonable.
some things I was alright in and others I wasn't. I have been called a range of things *with extreme abuse like you 're thick to you are not listening again, etc. In truth the more critiscism I was getting from these bullies, the more I was getting wound up and extremely agitated. it would start making me tired and sick to death of going to school. I would often hide in a corner or keep well out of sight, if a teacher caught me looking at something I shouldn't be looking at or out of marble curiosity I would be punished.
I think I was a very perceptive human back then, can't say the same for anyone else. They all had behavioural difficulties. I would get kicked and punched in the arm because the teacher would continuously place me next to them. (I think to teach me a lesson), for not talking much. yet I loved learning to a degree.
The umbrella of aspergers takes on a much wider comprehension than most people are willing to acknowledge or take for granted.



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04 Oct 2013, 4:47 am

^True. And I've seen some people claim that if the majority of the population was on the ASD spectrum, then it would be the NT's that would be considered the "odd" ones who had a neurological condition. But, I've never been diagnosed with ASD. I came on the site actually not sure whether I had it or not. Some of it makes sense, some of it doesn't. A lot of the expierences people with an ASD have I have had as well. So...I don't know. Perphaps it more of a spectrum thing than people think. There isn't simply "Neurotypical" and "Aspergers" or "Autistic". There's a point at which you're not really acting like someone who's completley neurotypical, and maybe have some of the symptoms of someone with an ASD/Aspergers, but that you don't exactly have it. I mostly just stay on the BTSP section anyway when I do come on. Chat to anyone who has bipolar. I can't seem to find many elsewhere that aren't fully blown, bipolar 1's.

Then again, the diagnosis Borderline Personality Disorder has been debated a lot lately between a Therapist, a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist. The symptoms of BPD are somewhat similar to those of Aspergers. So I'm wondering how many people (adults, BPD can't be DX'ed in childhood) are misdiagnosed Aspies that have BPD, or misdiagnosed Borderlines that actually have Aspergers. Borderline is pretty much stereotyped a lot as "Manipulative extroverts with low self esteem" and other things that make it seem REALLY different from the symptoms of an ASD, when in reality, research has shown that there's different types of Borderline, and some more similar to ASD's than people believe.



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04 Oct 2013, 7:10 am

Otherside wrote:
Then again, the diagnosis Borderline Personality Disorder has been debated a lot lately between a Therapist, a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist. The symptoms of BPD are somewhat similar to those of Aspergers. So I'm wondering how many people (adults, BPD can't be DX'ed in childhood) are misdiagnosed Aspies that have BPD, or misdiagnosed Borderlines that actually have Aspergers. Borderline is pretty much stereotyped a lot as "Manipulative extroverts with low self esteem" and other things that make it seem REALLY different from the symptoms of an ASD, when in reality, research has shown that there's different types of Borderline, and some more similar to ASD's than people believe.


Well psychiatry is no 100% exact science.

I'm also getting rediagnosed, probably with: ADHD with autistic features + schizoaffective or schizotypal + Bipolar.
My half-brother was schizophrenic and my brother ADHD. So it would make sence.

I still know I've at least some autistic features and I so don't care about official lables anymore.
Just personal resignation.


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MollyM
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04 Oct 2013, 3:20 pm

glow wrote:
Aspergers is not an illness. Although to one person, that person who's got it, may think differently.
that link helps to distinguish what it is.
Back in my day teachers and other pupils were too ignorant and self complacent to think what may not be their problem but their pupils. I had exceptionally awful times at school, I mean I was bullied every day and that including anything, just to mimic a reaction or try and figure out why I was the way I was.
There was no placid common sense behind their reasoning only that I was being odd and unreasonable.
some things I was alright in and others I wasn't. I have been called a range of things *with extreme abuse like you 're thick to you are not listening again, etc. In truth the more critiscism I was getting from these bullies, the more I was getting wound up and extremely agitated. it would start making me tired and sick to death of going to school. I would often hide in a corner or keep well out of sight, if a teacher caught me looking at something I shouldn't be looking at or out of marble curiosity I would be punished.
I think I was a very perceptive human back then, can't say the same for anyone else. They all had behavioural difficulties. I would get kicked and punched in the arm because the teacher would continuously place me next to them. (I think to teach me a lesson), for not talking much. yet I loved learning to a degree.
The umbrella of aspergers takes on a much wider comprehension than most people are willing to acknowledge or take for granted.


I had a terrible time in school too, I was stubborn and relentless, unreasonable and argumentative. However on my side of things I saw what I saw and that it was the right thing, I couldn't understand why people were upset and I was constantly being laughed at and bullied because of my lack of sensitivity and understanding of things. I just couldn't see what I'd done wrong, I could say or do something and think it sounded alright, believe that it wasn't rude or insensitive but people felt I was being rude or insulting. People often mistake my 'neutral face' for being angry, in fact if i don't remember to plaster a smile on my face constantly people think I'm always angry. As far as Aspergers being an illness I agree it's not an illness. For me it has become a way of life, I've learned to deal with it however I can and now that I've been officially diagnosed I can find behavioral therapy to try and get a better grip on it.

You know back in my school days though I babbled endlessly or didn't babble enough. I rambled mostly and was all over the place, a chaotic learner. Thats how I was miss diagnosed with ADHD and clinical depression when in reality it was Aspergers. Unfortunately it wasn't caught till I was grown...so now I'm stuck trying to relearn what I should have learned a long time ago.



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05 Oct 2013, 5:49 am

Sadly, the bullying probably had nothing to do with the fact that you had Aspergers. Just that you'd been identified as different, and children and different...they don't like it much. It's no excuse, I know. I went through it myself pretty much all through Primary and High School. Thankfully, nothing physical. It was all psychological.

It did not help that I had panic attacks (a lot) as well as having some pretty bad issues with my ears, which meant I was in pain a lot of the time, especially at Primary School, or couldn't hear what people were saying.



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06 Oct 2013, 6:31 pm

Otherside wrote:
Sadly, the bullying probably had nothing to do with the fact that you had Aspergers. Just that you'd been identified as different, and children and different...they don't like it much. It's no excuse, I know. I went through it myself pretty much all through Primary and High School. Thankfully, nothing physical. It was all psychological.

It did not help that I had panic attacks (a lot) as well as having some pretty bad issues with my ears, which meant I was in pain a lot of the time, especially at Primary School, or couldn't hear what people were saying.


My problem was my selective hearing...I have good hearing...I can hear things that most people can't but I can be selective, capable of tuning out what I don't care to listen to so people think my hearing sucks when it reality I was tuning them out LOL

I did not develop the panic attacks until after high school when i was working full time and going to college full time, where the OCD traits flared up dramatically. I've got it under control now but back then...it was awful. I had self-diagnosed myself with OCD until I went to the doctor and explained my problems, hoping to find a solution to it. They prescribed me something to calm me down but it really didn't help at all. My ADD was chaotic and really it seemed like if I calmed one down the other would flip out....I was losing my marbles over the whole thing. FINALLY when I went to see an actual psychologist and not my physician (who was just a nurse practitioner) he told me I had Aspergers. I'm grateful to know what is going on now...but it bothers me that I had to grow up like this without help...that the psychologists I saw as a child did not recognize the Aspergers in me, rather they told my parents I had ADHD and clinical depression. I was depressed because I had no friends....because I didn't understand people, because my social skills were non-existent. I was depressed because I could never understand when I was saying something rude or insulting or even offensive. Frustrating really.

Well I'm happy I found this place...interesting insight into the Aspergers disorder, and nice to know I'm not the only one who has the same problems.