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Grammar Geek
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22 Feb 2016, 7:08 pm

I am currently working on getting a driver's license, and I have no sense of direction because of my NVLD. My right hippocampus is damaged, and I don't even have a left one after surgery to remove it. I think those are some pretty damn good reasons to struggle with this, and reports from testing back me up, but my mom continues to think I can find where I'm going if I just look at maps and try harder. She doesn't get that I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER THEM. It's my fourth semester at my college, and I'm still not always sure how to get there. It's irritating. I WANT to know how to get there, but I don't have the ability to! I am trying so hard to figure it out, but because my mom doesn't have NVLD, she can't understand it and thinks I'm just being lazy. She's always telling me I can't rely on a GPS for everything, but I don't have a choice! How can I convince her that I'm not lazy and that it really is almost impossible for me to find my way around?



RaspberryFrosty
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24 Feb 2016, 1:10 am

I have NLD as well. It sounds like she has no understanding of how NLD works and affects people who live with it. Did anyone actually explain to her about the disorder, such as whoever did your evalution?


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Grammar Geek
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24 Feb 2016, 10:15 am

Yeah. She just doesn't understand it since it's second nature to her. She can't comprehend that it can be almost impossible for someone else.



Ettina
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29 Feb 2016, 10:45 am

Grammar Geek wrote:
Yeah. She just doesn't understand it since it's second nature to her. She can't comprehend that it can be almost impossible for someone else.


That's like saying to a Deaf person 'How can you not hear that? It's second nature to me to hear. It doesn't even take any effort to hear! You must just be ignoring me!'



Mattoid
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24 Mar 2016, 5:28 pm

I too have NVLD, but my mom is pretty understanding; it's my dad who has a problem with it. He just makes metaphors, one of which was something to the effect of "You may be last in the race, but you're still in the race". He also thinks that my limited appreciation of tastes can be expanded to include vegetables, and that my vomiting them up is just a result of it being "in [my] head".

Getting a GPS was enormously helpful for me. I used to get lost in my own hometown. Now I don't.

Bottom line: Ignore your mom. She sounds like a bully.


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LostInSpace
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26 Mar 2016, 7:12 pm

I have NVLD, and didn't get my driver's license until I was around your age (after four years of hard work on learning to drive). I also cannot find my way around to save my life, although I have gotten a little better over the years. I would be much less independent than I am without a GPS. I am really sorry your mother is giving you so much grief. I am lucky that my mother has always been understanding. Can you point out to your mom the times in your childhood when you couldn't find your way around? For example, did you have trouble navigating your school? Maybe if she can recall that this is a problem you've always had, she will be more understanding. A GPS for people like us is the same thing as a wheelchair or walker for someone with cerebral palsy. It's an assistive device to help compensate for impairment. Maybe for NTs a GPS is something that allows them to get lazy, but for an NVLDer, it is the key to freedom and independence.


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LostInSpace
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26 Mar 2016, 7:15 pm

Mattoid wrote:
Getting a GPS was enormously helpful for me. I used to get lost in my own hometown. Now I don't.


Boy, can I relate to this. My hometown was less than 2 square miles and I lived there my whole life up until college, but I still couldn't find my way around. My dentist didn't even believe me when I said I was late because I got lost, just because I'd been going to the same dentist for the last fifteen years. GPS and having Google maps on my phone has made such a big difference.


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28 Mar 2016, 1:21 pm

Can relate to problems with driving, finding places, feeling lost and I try my best to avoid situations to where I must get to a place with unfamiliar surroundings or way out of the way of my comfort zone.

When people minimize or dismiss it, it's not very nice.

Most people are self absorbed and really cannot put themselves in someone else's shoes. They think "Well I don't experience this so the next person is just making it up."