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sitko
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08 Oct 2021, 1:52 pm

Yes, verbose was meant to be a good describer, not a put down.



Shellbelle
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08 Oct 2021, 2:20 pm

sitko wrote:
Yes, verbose was meant to be a good describer, not a put down.


Thank you for the clarification Sitko, much appreciated. :)



Ettina
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08 Oct 2021, 5:43 pm

I've got CPTSD. Child sexual abuse before school age, followed by physical and emotional abuse in school.

The biggest thing that's helped me is dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), especially the mindfulness component of it. It's been pretty much life-changing - went from meltdowns at least once a month to meltdowns more like once every two years.



Jakki
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08 Oct 2021, 6:44 pm

sitko wrote:
Yes, verbose was meant to be a good describer, not a put down.


:D :D :D :D :mrgreen:


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FoxInaBox
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28 May 2022, 6:59 pm

I will say some things that do help and some things that don't, from experience.

Personally I had a lot of therapy in my early 20's and early 30's without anyone knowing I was autistic. Maybe because I was a female and I was misdiagnosed and my treatment did not adequately address dealing with either traumatic memories, dissociation, or autism. CBT treatment taught me to be mindful and focus on the present, which was helpful. But while this was helpful in the short term, it effectively enabled me to lock away my memories for 15 years instead of dealing with them.

Most of that time I could not remember much of my life except in occasional bits and pieces, and that has been my normal. But recently the whole thing seems to be unraveling and I am remembering and reliving a lot of trauma. I am wishing I had dealt with the traumatic experiences and dissociation sooner because now I feel like the unresolved stress has caused some potentially serious health problems as well as everyday problems with concentration and memory loss.

Anyway, now I am finding that the dam has opened up and that I must deal with this stuff again. Without being in therapy for so many years, and I don't have a psychiatrist or anything. I will say that I wish someone could have recognized what was happening to me sooner. What people said back then didn't make sense to me. But in my world view, that was my norm. People didn't understand me and I didn't understand them. I had been dissociating since a young age and not aware how much larger that could snowball over time. I feel grief for my younger self. I am putting the pieces back together now because this really needs cleaning up.

Less than a week ago, the thought of my first EMDR appointment terrified me so much that with the therapist I pulled a calf muscle sitting in the chair and then took 2 days off of work to physically recover from the exhaustion and chemicals released into my body from the fright. We never actually got to the EMDR, I was just really terrified. The whole first appointment was trying to keep me from putting my head through the wall. I was so nervous. But after burning off all of that anxiety and recovering I actually feel better now than I did. I am going back next week to start the EMDR. All sorts of memories are spilling loose this week but in between appointments I am doing some things that help me personally...

--Deep breathing
--Vagus nerve stimulation
--Aromatherapy (meaning find things that smell good and focus on them)... I guess for other people this could be some other pleasant thing using your 5 senses to keep centered
--Do online research to help reframe what I believe about myself and normalize what has made me feel separate from others
--The supplement GABA has helped somewhat for nerves
--An "Apollo Wearable Device" on my ankle, which was very expensive but it has been helping me cope physically.

I am glad to see that there are others on this site and I am not alone.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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28 May 2022, 7:07 pm

FoxInaBox wrote:
Less than a week ago, the thought of my first EMDR appointment terrified me so much that with the therapist I pulled a calf muscle sitting in the chair and then took 2 days off of work to physically recover from the exhaustion and chemicals released into my body from the fright. We never actually got to the EMDR, I was just really terrified. The whole first appointment was trying to keep me from putting my head through the wall. I was so nervous. But after burning off all of that anxiety and recovering I actually feel better now than I did. I am going back next week to start the EMDR. All sorts of memories are spilling loose this week but in between appointments I am doing some things that help me personally...


Whoa, that definitely was not the kind of adrenaline rush desired.
Glad the eventual outcome was okay.
May the upcoming appointment be successful.


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ThisTimelessMoment
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29 May 2022, 1:16 am

Hi. I'm an aspie with HDHD and C-PTSD.
I've tried a lot of things to deal with the trauma. What I've realised is that the trauma started happening before I could speak and so therapies that involve thinking are not much use to me. I've found the body to be how I can access the past and slowly process it and change my relationship with it.
There are a lot of really good suggestions above so I won't repeat those. Except for reading Peter Levine. Also poly vagal theory by Steven Porges.
What I've had most success with Is TRE (Trauma Release Exercises). It's a way of SLOWLY releasing the tension my body holds. I cam regulate it and go at a pace that works for me.
Moving too fast with trauma work is one of the biggest problems. We all want to be healed NOW. Trauma work takes time. Going too fast results in being retraumatised and this can have very negative physical, emotional and mental effects. We have to be able to hold what comes up with compassion and we only have so much capacity. Building capacity for holding unpleasant emotion and feeling is key.

I have found mindfulness meditation to be helpful as it taught me how to access "observer mind". The place where I can watch what's going on with me. Watch my thoughts and feelings without falling into them and getting snagged. This let's me watch as unpleasant stuff comes up. I can allow myself to feel everything that's happening in the moment and hold it with compassion. I can feel the Trauma in my body and hold that very badly hurt child with compassion and love.

Good luck with your process. Take it slow and see what works for you.


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autisticelders
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29 May 2022, 5:57 am

Brain replays of painful things, constant flashbacks and intrusive painful memories>

https://wordpress.com/post/oldladywithautism.blog/997

I wrote this about a year ago and it continues to be useful to me.
Along with therapy and other support maybe it will be helpful to some others?
I continue to practice this and things are getting better over time. Less anxious and better understanding of what happened/ how it all happened without my knowing or understanding of my autism at the time. Hope you find peace and begin to feel safe.


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Jakki
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29 May 2022, 11:58 am

It is weird how the triggers show up and before you know it you are reacting and not processing. It is downright
Scarey to me most times . Other times , I start to feel it happening and desperate try to analyze the cause and effect part of the “cause “..to death. Sometimes later, I am away from the situation and can have that light bulb moment .
Where you might say to yourself “ Oh yeah” ..but many times that is not the case. And that leaves you just alittle freaked out . Even angry .. after you get over the initial reaction …it’s like someone psychically terrorized you , I feel. :cry: 8O


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Dillogic
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02 Jun 2022, 10:21 am

Just boring old PTSD from isolated events. Nothing complex and ongoing. My hands still sweat and I experience other sympathetic nervous system effects when I hear gunshots, fireworks or thunder, but it's not that bad anymore. Screaming or yelling too. I also have hypervigilance from it (Autism is enough of a bother when out in the world on its own without this mess on top of it). Nightmares. Rarely, flashbacks.

Gets better with time. Exposure helped. Talking to professionals helped and helps. I can talk about it more outside of that like I am now, so yeah, getting better.



Jakki
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02 Jun 2022, 4:21 pm

^^^ YAAAY ^^^. ….. to the above post , for even a piece of recovery …. :cheers: :cheers:


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