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Crystal1414
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26 Apr 2024, 1:00 pm

Sometimes I can't do things because I'm really afraid. It's frustrating. I want to move but I'm full of fear. Sometimes I just sit for hours. Other times I stand for hours. I want to do things like get dressed, clean, go out, read, and shower. It's embarrassing. I feel lazy. Sometimes it's really difficult to put dishes away even if there's only a few. I know where they go and I don't mind doing it but I get caught up in the movement.

Hygiene is important but sometimes I just can't. I forget to shower, my hair gets bad, and sometimes I sleep with my clothes and wear them again. I even keep my shoes on cause I forget. People get annoyed with me. They tell me I need to do things. It makes me sad and sometimes I cry because my sister can be a bit mean. The worst it got was wetting my bed and being too embarrassed to mention it. It wasn't good and people told me I was too old to do that. They accused me of drinking. I tried to tell them it was because I felt paralyzing fear. They didn't understand.

I just don't know how to tell people that I'm afraid. Sometimes I can't even talk and people think I'm sad because I usually talk a lot. Then I think I don't have any thoughts and it makes me even more afraid to talk. Sometimes I even think I'm talking when I'm not. I also have moments where I do talk out loud to people that aren't there. I feel really sad when people point it out or laugh. I don't find it funny. I speak outloud by accident sometimes, with things I don't want to say. After that I also feel unable to talk, and very anxious.

People want me to do things. They surprise me with social stuff and I get panicked. Sometimes people even want me to go out to bars. My family wants me to make friends. Im too afraid to do that. Also I feel "different" from most people my age. I can't take the bus alone and I don't go to school. I have severe learning disabilities as well. It makes it really difficult cause I don't know stuff I should. I love to read and write and learn. However I don't know certain things such as how to count change fast, how to remember the order of things I need to do, how to talk in a way that makes more sense, and I can't even get my learners license cause I struggle with remembering information for things like tests. I don't think I'll be independent anytime soon. I want to get over my fears though. I think I can do a lot but fear gets in the way.



funeralxempire
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26 Apr 2024, 1:29 pm

Have anti-anxiety meds ever helped?


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blitzkrieg
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26 Apr 2024, 1:52 pm

A lot of those problems sound normal for somebody on the schizophrenia spectrum (as you have previously mentioned you are on).

So called 'negative' symptoms of schizophrenia, or sometimes similar behavioural patterns of related disorders (such as Schizoaffective disorder) can make a person feel an inertia of sorts, not able to do basic living tasks, in a similar way to someone with adhd who might struggle with executive function.

I'm not sure what to suggest. For bladder incontinence I would perhaps looking into getting a medication that might help with controlling one's bladder... I think those meds exist.



Crystal1414
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26 Apr 2024, 2:11 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Have anti-anxiety meds ever helped?


Yea. Except for physical side effects. I get nauseous from them. I've taken many. I'm on one right now that helps a bit. It helps me feel less anxious about certain things. Like I find it easier to talk to people with it.



funeralxempire
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26 Apr 2024, 2:30 pm

Crystal1414 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Have anti-anxiety meds ever helped?


Yea. Except for physical side effects. I get nauseous from them. I've taken many. I'm on one right now that helps a bit. It helps me feel less anxious about certain things. Like I find it easier to talk to people with it.


I wonder if an anti-nausea medication alongside would be an option.

I'm glad they help a bit.


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MjrMajorMajor
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26 Apr 2024, 10:11 pm

(((hugs))) I've been there and understand that feeling. I'm sorry and hope things get better