Self-Esteem and clothing

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I thought I would share something here that I wouldn't normally share but I'd like to hear what some others think. Like many people on the spectrum and even those who are NT I have self-esteem issues. This is probably a vain thing to say but I enjoy wearing dress clothes and suits because it increases my self-esteem. I never really cared for dress clothes growing up. I think I kind of hated wearing them to church when I was little. About five years ago I got an accounting job at a company that required a kind of business professional dress code.

We had CEO's who would occassionally come to the office. I was "required" to wear a tie and a dress shirt. I thought just wearing that by itself seemed kind of silly and thought "If I'm going to do that I might as well wear a suit". That's what I ended up doing. There were some girls (around my age and some slightly younger) who worked there and felt (this could have been in my mind) that I felt more attractive wearing one. It did also increase my confidence a bit and felt more polished and put together. At one point I even bought a suit vest to wear and made the suit a three-piece suit. I did like how it looked. Now even when I go out to things like the grocery store I still wear a suit jacket and dress clothes (without a tie). This is an incredibly vulnerable thing to say and admit but I like the attention I get from it. I wish that maybe wasn't the case but I can't lie and say I don't.

I sometimes feel bad that I am this way. I went to the store this evening and wore one out and the girl at the checkout asked what I did as she hardly ever sees anybody in one. I told her I worked in Accounting. It made me feel good to get the compliment. I am at the point now where I dislike wearing normal clothes anymore. I only wear run down clothes around the house and never in public. Even with outings with family to restaurants and family gatherings I wear a suit jacket. Maybe I'm trying to be someone I'm not but I feel better in one. Maybe this is another facet of the "Masking" phenomenon with ASD. I don't know what to make of it anymore but am interested in hearing what others think. I am thinking maybe this is something I need therapy for and is indicative of some self-esteem issues.

I don't see anything wrong with it.
Women routinely dress up to look good before they go out.

Thank you! That's true. I guess a part of me feels like maybe I'm doing this for the wrong reason but it's become so routine that it's hard to wear jeans or regular shirts out.

How do your clothes feel sensory-wise? Dress clothes were always miserable for me, so when I quit going to church as an adult, I quit wearing many things I didn’t find comfy. I think I’d find ties and suits a challenge.

If you genuinely like wearing what you wear, then it might not be a problem although it wouldn’t hurt to talk to a therapist, either, if you think there’s more going on.

I have also experienced positive female attention whilst wearing a suit, though I rarely wear one. I think a lot of (though certainly not all) hetreosexual women like men in suits. Suits can be very flattering for a man's appearance, especially tailored fit suits.

I don't see that there is a problem with wearing one regularly, personally. The only drawback I can think of is the effort and as others have alluded to - any sensory issues that might arise from wearing such clothing.

And you do have a legitimate reason for wearing one if you work in accounting, but even if you wanted to just wear one for appearances, that is okay too.

I wear female clothes because I look really good in them. I have an hourglass figure with a narrow waistline.

The thing about self-esteem is that it's accumulative. The more good experiences you have the better you feel about yourself and I'd say that if you feel good about yourself you increase your odds of having good experiences.

If feeling good about yourself involves dressing smartly then I really can't see anything wrong in that at all. Certainly not an issue for therapy.

If it were getting in the way of your ability to live your life - like if you couldn't go out to get food because you felt your clothes weren't smart enough then that would be another matter. But this doesn't sound like that.

Most people wear good clothes to feel good.

I'm quite aware of this.
Because I've seen this pattern too many times to a point that I have too many people fusses over it as if it's life or death.
Sometimes it's their lifeline or their shield, or really, their mask.


I'm the inverse; if I feel good, I'd wear good clothes. Or at least actually bother to style it better or choose more carefully.

And it didn't matter to me at the end of the day because all of it just passes or ends.
It doesn't "accumulate" as much for me, which makes what others think of what I worn really do not matter.

Like; didn't matter how much I put an effort to my looks; if I'm pissed I'm pissed. End of story.
No amount of positive attention and commentary would get me out of it. Nothing did except solve the root causes of said reason why I'm pissed, in which my own looks and others' feedbacks do not solve.



I already covered most of my own bases related to my own clothing pieces; sensory, preferences, conveniences, maintenance, etc.

And want it to go further by buying pieces I can always rotate and wear anywhere with enough style to get by any setting.
Or at least as wide range of a settings, with all my sensory and style prefernces as possible.

Thus I'm going to this "super picky dream wardrobe route".
So even if I really just do not feel like it; it'll still and always be "more appropriate".

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