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tiger2plum
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Joined: 14 Mar 2019
Age: 22
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14 Mar 2019, 12:43 am

I'm ASD and known I was gay for a little while now.

A friend of mine who always insisted he had a boyfriend in another country opened up the possibility of us experimenting a little with each other, and his boyfriend would be ok with it. I mentioned that if he never had a boyfriend, just let me know and there would be no hard feelings. He continues to insist he has another boyfriend, even though we just had sex.

Should I be concerned about any continued "experimenting" with him? I don't know whether this is healthy.

Thank you for your open mind. :heart:



Max1951
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Joined: 15 Nov 2011
Age: 68
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14 Mar 2019, 7:33 am

tiger2plum wrote:
I'm ASD and known I was gay for a little while now.

A friend of mine who always insisted he had a boyfriend in another country opened up the possibility of us experimenting a little with each other, and his boyfriend would be ok with it. I mentioned that if he never had a boyfriend, just let me know and there would be no hard feelings. He continues to insist he has another boyfriend, even though we just had sex.

Should I be concerned about any continued "experimenting" with him? I don't know whether this is healthy.

Thank you for your open mind. :heart:


I'm just one person, but sex between friends seems fine to me. The relationship that 2 people have is defined by those 2 people, nobody else. General society might have a different idea, but if two people enjoy non-committal sex with each other, and neither has previously made a firm commitment of monogamy, well then it seems like a happy thing to me. Be safe and enjoy your sexuality, and when you find a person who you want to spend your life with, monogamy can be discussed at that time.



Piobaire
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14 Mar 2019, 8:22 am

tiger2plum wrote:
I'm ASD and known I was gay for a little while now.

A friend of mine who always insisted he had a boyfriend in another country opened up the possibility of us experimenting a little with each other, and his boyfriend would be ok with it. I mentioned that if he never had a boyfriend, just let me know and there would be no hard feelings. He continues to insist he has another boyfriend, even though we just had sex.

Should I be concerned about any continued "experimenting" with him? I don't know whether this is healthy.

Thank you for your open mind. :heart:

Perhaps he has another boyfriend in a distant country, and they have an "open" relationship. Perhaps he's afraid of emotional intimacy (many of us have been badly hurt in the past), and uses this as a subterfuge to maintain his relationship with you at a level he's comfortable with. Either way, it doesn't sound like he wants to hurt you, himself, or anyone else, and "friends with benefits" status is not a bad thing. If you're OK with it, I'd suggest that you relax and enjoy what you have to offer one another.



tiger2plum
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Joined: 14 Mar 2019
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

14 Mar 2019, 9:10 am

Thank you both. I had no idea that this was normal. :roll: