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Bellis1717
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27 Dec 2020, 3:26 pm

I’ve struggled with my gender and sexuality since my earliest memories. But growing up very rural in southern America (Bible Belt) I never allowed even being gay an option.

But I’ve questioned (bc that’s all I’ll allow myself to do) if I’m trans for several years.

I think I’m finally ready to at least admit I’m non binary, they/them pronouns.

Maybe one day I can admit I’m trans. I’m already 36 so hopefully sooner than later.



Bradleigh
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27 Dec 2020, 6:54 pm

Hello fellow enby.

It took me a long time to come to terms to it too, and it was not like I would say I have lived in a religious area, just maybe no one knows. And actually allowing myself to adopt calling myself trans has also been slow, since I have had a lot of thoughts that I don't deserve it, since I don't experience dysohoria like a lot of binary trans people, but being cis has certainly not felt right.

Elliot Page is a fairly high profile actor that just recently came out with they/them pronouns (in addition to he/him), hopefully with these acts we can get more acceptance of non binary identities.


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Tomatoes
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02 Jan 2021, 3:34 pm

I do.

But I prefer something else. I want to be in a genuine woman body. And I want to love men, or my man, with that body. A real heterosexual relationship.

I don't want plastic surgery. I am sure it's possible with resonant frequencies, to modify the DNA in such a way to transform my body, and modify the cells' expression of some enzymes, molecules, etc.

I am not gay, or I don't identify myself as gay. But for me to have a relation with a man, I feel like I DO need to have a woman body.
I have no problem at this time (I even prefer it) to have a PLATONIC relationship with a woman, instead of with a man.

Possible I just want to desire myself. But then it wouldn't explain most of it. But this desire is really transient, non persistent, and not intense. And if I desire myself, others will desire me (law of attraction), for good or worst.

II can be said that affirming yourself as trans has set in stone your individualism and your need to be fine with yourself.



Bradleigh
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02 Jan 2021, 6:49 pm

Tomatoes wrote:
I do.

But I prefer something else. I want to be in a genuine woman body. And I want to love men, or my man, with that body. A real heterosexual relationship.

I don't want plastic surgery. I am sure it's possible with resonant frequencies, to modify the DNA in such a way to transform my body, and modify the cells' expression of some enzymes, molecules, etc.

I am not gay, or I don't identify myself as gay. But for me to have a relation with a man, I feel like I DO need to have a woman body.
I have no problem at this time (I even prefer it) to have a PLATONIC relationship with a woman, instead of with a man.

Possible I just want to desire myself. But then it wouldn't explain most of it. But this desire is really transient, non persistent, and not intense. And if I desire myself, others will desire me (law of attraction), for good or worst.

II can be said that affirming yourself as trans has set in stone your individualism and your need to be fine with yourself.



Your sex does not make you a man or a woman, if you feel in your heart that you are a woman, then you are, you can change your profile to say "female". For medical transitioning there is more than plastic surgery, first step is to get yourself onto hormones, those things alone can do a lot. For things like bottom surgery, there is more than just chopping things off, it will be used to make the parts, from what I understand.

For being a true woman, there is more than signifiers of a chromosomes, intersex conditions where these are not just XX and XY should be evidence enough. Being part of a social construct of gender, I think it is mostly going to be how feminine or masculine someone looks, and that goes back to things like the hormones, not what apparently things are that no one could see, although this also gets into things like gender non conforming. But in this way, gender is more of a bimodal distribution.
Image

That is genders exists not as separate groups, but a continuous line with an ambiguous area in the middle, and people within the binary genders that may be more or less masculine/feminine. Although to go more complex, there are these scales not only for gender, but expression, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and biological sex. Biological sex being the one specifically is altered by things like hormones.

Image


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FleaOfTheChill
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02 Jan 2021, 7:45 pm

First, I'm glad you can finally admit to being at least non binary. I know that sort of thing can be difficult to say, write, accept, understand and more. I say good on you for being able to do so. Especially if you find yourself surrounded by people who don't understand any of this and/or approve of you being you.

As for other trans people; I'm non binary so that puts me under the trans umbrella, I suppose. I'm sort of under the same mindset as Bradleigh with this one though...I never know if I should call myself trans since I don't deal with dysphoria.



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09 Jan 2021, 8:27 pm

I'm a trans male (female-to-male). Apparently it's more likely for autistic people to be trans than the rest of the population, which is interesting.

I don't really want surgery at all (I hate having surgery and it's expensive...), but I want to go on hormone replacement therapy. I've had gender dysphoria since I was a toddler, so I'm 100% sure I want to transition and live my life as a man. The main thing that sucks about being trans is the fact that I'm super short because I went through female puberty and have stopped growing already. lmao


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Bradleigh
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09 Jan 2021, 9:47 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I'm a trans male (female-to-male). Apparently it's more likely for autistic people to be trans than the rest of the population, which is interesting.


My suspicion has been along the lines that autistic people are more likely to have difficulty fitting in with others or in generally naturally isolated, and thus more likely to recognise if they are some element of trans.


HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I don't really want surgery at all (I hate having surgery and it's expensive...), but I want to go on hormone replacement therapy. I've had gender dysphoria since I was a toddler, so I'm 100% sure I want to transition and live my life as a man. The main thing that sucks about being trans is the fact that I'm super short because I went through female puberty and have stopped growing already. lmao


All trans men are kings. Ones height does not get to decide how much of a man they are.


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deathsheadmoth
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15 Jan 2021, 1:29 am

For a long time I thought of myself as a trans man and I wanted that acceptance and ease cis men have. However, after a couple years I realized I was non-binary which has really freed me. That being said I still struggle as a trans masc to wear “feminine” clothes and be perceived as a girl because I know I usually get perceived as a cis girl already. I don’t have any care to pass but being misgendered is hard ya know, especially because I can’t go on HRT for several years to come. At the same time I think, “If I am gonna be misgendered anyway I might as well wear whatever I want to.”



Punkrockfan
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15 Jan 2021, 4:26 am

This might just be normal teenage stuff, but I kinda feel like becoming a woman right now. I was born as a male obviously. Btw, I'm curious if there's people that don't find out if they're trans until their teenage years. I don't know if I'm trans or not. If this is offensive to anyone. I apologize =)



Bradleigh
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15 Jan 2021, 4:43 am

Punkrockfan wrote:
This might just be normal teenage stuff, but I kinda feel like becoming a woman right now. I was born as a male obviously. Btw, I'm curious if there's people that don't find out if they're trans until their teenage years. I don't know if I'm trans or not. If this is offensive to anyone. I apologize =)


I did not really figure out that I was an enby until I was something like 28, it can be hard to figure things out when you are not really exposed to things or had them expressed as an alternative outside of something like a joke.

Don't be too worried about being 100% sure about things, do what you think works. Go by what you feel, not what others say that they think you should feel.

Puberty can be rough for trans people, do you feel anything dysphoria? (It is perfectly fine if you do not, it does not have to define a trans person)


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ezbzbfcg2
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15 Jan 2021, 5:06 am

Bradleigh wrote:
I did not really figure out that I was an enby until I was something like 28, it can be hard to figure things out when you are not really exposed to things or had them expressed as an alternative outside of something like a joke.

What's an enby? Are you biologically XX or XY, and how do you currently self-identify genderwise?



Punkrockfan
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15 Jan 2021, 5:09 am

Bradleigh wrote:
Punkrockfan wrote:
This might just be normal teenage stuff, but I kinda feel like becoming a woman right now. I was born as a male obviously. Btw, I'm curious if there's people that don't find out if they're trans until their teenage years. I don't know if I'm trans or not. If this is offensive to anyone. I apologize =)


I did not really figure out that I was an enby until I was something like 28, it can be hard to figure things out when you are not really exposed to things or had them expressed as an alternative outside of something like a joke.

Don't be too worried about being 100% sure about things, do what you think works. Go by what you feel, not what others say that they think you should feel.

Puberty can be rough for trans people, do you feel anything dysphoria? (It is perfectly fine if you do not, it does not have to define a trans person)


Thanks for the reply. I'm gonna figure this out and see what happens.



Bradleigh
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15 Jan 2021, 5:17 am

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
Bradleigh wrote:
I did not really figure out that I was an enby until I was something like 28, it can be hard to figure things out when you are not really exposed to things or had them expressed as an alternative outside of something like a joke.

What's an enby? Are you biologically XX or XY, and how do you currently self-identify genderwise?



I have never seen what my chromosomes are, so I could probably only make educated guesses.

Enby refers to NB, which is short for non-binary, it is kind of like the less formal version, along the lines of saying man, woman, boy or girl. By saying that I am an enby, I am saying that the gender I identify as is non-binary. Although you should also be able to see that my profile to the side has "male" written under it, it is not entirely accurate because there is no choice on this site, but for me it is preferable to not including a gender at all, non-binary does not necessarily mean no gender.


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ezbzbfcg2
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15 Jan 2021, 5:22 am

Bradleigh wrote:
ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
Bradleigh wrote:
I did not really figure out that I was an enby until I was something like 28, it can be hard to figure things out when you are not really exposed to things or had them expressed as an alternative outside of something like a joke.

What's an enby? Are you biologically XX or XY, and how do you currently self-identify genderwise?



I have never seen what my chromosomes are, so I could probably only make educated guesses...Although you should also be able to see that my profile to the side has "male" written under it, it is not entirely accurate because there is no choice on this site, but for me it is preferable to not including a gender at all, non-binary does not necessarily mean no gender.

I know the question is highly personal. And I don't want you to think I have anything against you. Just pure curiosity. Does your birth certificate say you're male or female? How did your parents and society label you when you were a child? How were you raised until you realized you were emby?



Bradleigh
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15 Jan 2021, 6:09 am

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
I know the question is highly personal. And I don't want you to think I have anything against you. Just pure curiosity. Does your birth certificate say you're male or female? How did your parents and society label you when you were a child? How were you raised until you realized you were emby?


It can be personal, and it isn't really cool if a discussion runs down to what parts people have.

But, I am amab (assigned male at birth), I don't really care about it being some sort of secret. I am a amab enby aspie. I am sure most people would just assume that I am a cis man looking at me. I don't throw it around like I am trying to be special or something, I don't like the attention, but normalising it is something I want to do so that others could even see it in themselves, but it can be a bit intimidating.

I actually had to get over quite a bit of my own bias where I had to stop focusing on things like the biology of people, something that turned out to be an element of internalised homophobia, where I had internalised things like fears that I would turn out to be attracted to the wrong body or something. Turned out I was also bi, which was why that fear was kind of deep, and I feel a lot more true after stopping to care was either binary biologically, and I could accept that how I felt was a valid thing shared by others. That the biology doesn't have to be that important.


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NaturalEntity
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17 Jan 2021, 2:40 pm

Enby/trans thread? Hell yes!
Still working out the specifics, but I'm definitely an enby (she/her).


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