Page 2 of 2 [ 32 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

warrier120
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Dec 2016
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Posts: 629
Location: Southern California

07 May 2021, 8:49 am

Out only to close friends and my sister. The rest of my family would hate me forever if I said I was bi.


_________________
AQ Score: 20

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 93 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 125 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits


Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,738
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

09 May 2021, 7:15 pm

Not a closet. Just not advertising it.
And I usually don't care. :lol:

But sometimes I just had to spell out that I'm never 'interested'. In anyone. At all.

Also everyone can see I don't exactly act, think or even feel and move like any feminine woman even if I look like one.
Yet there are rare instances that I have to clear out the fact that I also don't want anything to being a man. :P


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).


ClownyClownClown
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 May 2021
Age: 29
Posts: 55
Location: Down in Clowntown

16 May 2021, 11:10 am

I've been away from home for years now, so the friends I have made since then in different states know I am trans. My parents have an idea but choose to ignore it, which makes me doubt my growth even though I've been on HRT for almost 4 years. It really hurt when I told my mom years ago and she would consistently tell me how mistaken I am, so I just don't share anything about my personal life with her or my dad. Even my twin brother doesn't believe me or chooses to ignore it too. I rarely visit them because I dread their responses to my obvious physical changes. It's always been a challenge to advocate for myself and I don't argue. There's a lot to be said for chosen family, which queers end up finding when denied support from biological family. Most of my friends are trans at this point and it makes things a lot easier in that I don't have to teach people who don't understand my existence. I don't ever talk about it at work, so no one knows. I'm sure my boss does because he's handled my paperwork which still has my deadname on it. But he's cool and has never mentioned it to me or my coworkers which I greatly appreciate. Most of my co-workers are cis-het men and I am grateful to not have to have a conversation about it with them. Not saying there's anything wrong with being cis-het of course, its just these guys in particular uphold a specific and mainstream idea of masculinity that is harmful. I identify as asexual and kinky at this point in my life and don't advertise either. I'm a rather private person and I don't feel like I am missing out much by not sharing. It just gets uncomfortable when someone expresses a sexual interest in me.



ApricitiousRory
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 28
Location: New Mexico

30 May 2021, 5:01 pm

I’m very out. When I grew up in the 60s/70s, there was little to no info available about transgender people. When puberty hit I learned I was almost exclusively attracted to men, and thus concluded that I was a gay man. Started coming out as gay at 17 and basically blew the doors off my closet by the age of 21. Those were the early days of the HIV/AIDS pandemic, and marching in the streets was something many of us did. I was out, loud & proud for decades. Then, in my fifties I finally had the opportunity to work through some very old trauma and in the process discovered that I’m actually a trans woman. In 2017 I decided to transition.

I figure everyone knows whenever I step out of my house, or when I speak. That being the case, having coming out conversations with others just doesn’t feel necessary. If someone doesn’t know I’m trans, they’re not paying any attention.

I am not out to many as an autistic, at least not yet. I have told the two people I’m closest to, and one of them said, “Oh. That actually makes a lot of sense.” My therapist also knows, since she referred me for the assessment.


_________________
"Who in the world am I?” Ah, that’s the great puzzle.”
Alice in Wonderland

AQ score: 36
Diagnosed May 2021: ASD Level 1 ( i.e. Aspergers), requiring support


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 37
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 14,697
Location: I'm right here

30 May 2021, 5:07 pm

How out can I be? I'm gynephilic and masculine-presenting so unless I say something explicit I expect to be considered cis-het and male.

Ultimately though, if I'm being 100% honest with myself a neutral identity is closer to how I perceive myself.


_________________
Be reasonable, demand the impossible.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


tensordyne
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 2 Apr 2017
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 209
Location: Kirkland, WA

17 Jun 2021, 11:40 am

Completely out of any closet. Gut wrenching to read many of the previous entries. Be loved!


_________________
Go Vegan!


Butterfly88
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 18,954
Location: United States

17 Jun 2021, 8:53 pm

I'm out to my family, good friends, and therapist. I haven't told my psychiatrist or case manager as I don't think they'd approve. Also been avoiding telling my neighbors. When I meet someone new it's not the first thing I tell them but if they are going to stick around I've come to realize it's better to just be honest in most cases.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 105,035
Location: Canada in person, Germany in spirit

18 Aug 2021, 10:58 am

I'm out with my friends and the staff at my clubhouse about being trans. I'm not out with my family and I don't think I ever will be.


_________________
Peabody

Om Nom 2024

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


chaosmos
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 19 Jul 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 144
Location: Melbourne, Australia

19 Aug 2021, 3:49 am

As out as I can be since 14.
I’ve noticed though, since I entered my 30s, that people don’t automatically assume I’m gay anymore. I’m not exactly femme presenting for a woman but I’m always shocked when people assume I’m straight.



BiffGriff
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 21 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 20
Location: out of my mind

01 Sep 2021, 9:07 pm

I'm married and therefore about as out as can be. Husband's co-worker met me for the first time, looked at my husband and said, "I figured you were married - I just didn't know it was to a dude." :D Cracked me up.



Skjald
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: Europe

02 Sep 2021, 6:48 am

I’m not in the closet but in the end I don’t run around and tell any rando about my sexual orientation either. Why would I? It’s none of their business and it’s not relevant information for them, it doesn’t (or at least shouldn’t ) matter at all.

My parents know, my extended family knows, my closest friend he knows too, some online friends know, I went to some LGBT groups so they know and that’s about it to my knowledge.

I say to my knowledge because I don’t go out of my way to hide it or to lie about it, so I might as well have given that information casually as a part of a natural conversation and some people whom I am not close to know now after all. But I don’t do classical coming outs anymore. The only somewhat classical coming outs I ever had were coming out to my parents and my closest friend.


_________________
“Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training, for it trains people as to how they shall think.”
- Arthur Schopenhauer


“The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.”
- Mikhail Bakunin


aspieprincess123
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 16 Aug 2015
Age: 36
Posts: 447
Location: england

02 Oct 2021, 1:00 pm

My parents and close friends know I am bisexual though besides one man I mostly lean to women.

My parents have no issues though they think i'm doing it more to make a statement or because I cannot easily find a man.

My friends mostly were fine though a few when I came out went from been ok naked in front of me to not been naked in front of me which I understand as they could think i'm lusting over them which before I came out I did a little.

I try to be honest with what I am my partner at the time had no issues with me been bisexual.



Velorum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2020
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,217
Location: UK

02 Oct 2021, 1:48 pm

I am on a kind of borderline between Demisexual and Autosexual. I'm more the latter but will tip over into the former on rare occasions.

The first is relatively easy to be open about, in fact it doesnt seem too challenging to others at all - common responses are 'oh, isnt that nice' etc.

The second is way more difficult and is often conflated with narcissism - which is a completely different thing of course. So I simply keep it to myself - which is kind of an ironic I suppose.......


_________________
Autistic member of the neurodivergent community


Max1951
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2011
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 169
Location: Central Pa

03 Oct 2021, 9:44 am

I don't know how out I am. I'm the kind of guy who wants to be out, but doesn't want to come out. They say one should just start acting the way one wants to be or become. So I have a wardrobe of sort of understated pride-wear, which I wear daily. It helps. Very seldom does anyone say anything, and so far there have only been compliments, in the few instances where someone commented on my pride garb. No embarrassing questions or smart remarks. So each time I wear rainbows, I feel validated, even if nobody notices it except me.
Erroll



River628
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 9 Oct 2021
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7
Location: US

20 Oct 2021, 4:13 pm

I'm both nonbinary and asexual, both of which I only figured out in the past year. My husband knows I'm nonbinary, though he doesn't fully understand what it means yet. I do want to come out to more people.

My aceness, however, will probably stay closeted. I'm happily married, my awareness of being ace doesn't change our physical relationship, and I really don't want to explain to people about the complete lack of sex in my thoughts. Being ace doesn't change anything, so no one needs to know.



Ettina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,796

05 Nov 2021, 9:07 pm

I'm "tendency to awkwardly and randomly overshare" degree of out.