Ware you ever was bullied because being gay or ASD/ADHD ???

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pawelk1986
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27 Dec 2021, 4:32 am

I wonder how many gays not look like stereotypical gay

I'm gay but really do not want to be lol I come out to my older brother just to piss him off, my older brother is very open-minded just not for LGBTQ so I said it to him just to piss him off, you know all those cozies come out videos where anyone is so accepting, I wonder why come out if you cannot piss someone with it.

I wonder why I'm such a jerk, I say hurtful things to people, I have Asperger's syndrome and possibly ADHD I was initially diagnosed with ADHD before I was finally diagnosed with ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder)

As a kid in the late 90's and early '00s, my mum sent me every year for special, for kids with emotional problems like ADHD, Autism, Down Syndrome drugs problems. The reason for my mum was that I need socialization and we are lucky because Poland had free health care and for example, parents of kids like me in the USA need to pay thousands of US dollars for the behavioural therapy and here in Poland is basically for free.

I meet other boys there he was very fit, athletic and agile he was 14 I was 15 but he was better shaped than me that piss me off a bit, and to avoid any confusion we didn't back than anything inappropriate

He landed there because he beat up the school bully who was tormenting him, he would be gay but he did not flaunt it, although as he then claimed, he was not hiding too much.

The Internet at the turn of the millennium was not so widespread in Poland and the world as it is now, therefore it was used mainly in schools, libraries and so-called Internet cafes and connecting with the Internet made such funny noises like the ones below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsNaR6FRuO0

As if someone was farting :-)

Coming back to the topic that he is homosexual, it looked after he opened gay porn sites in the school's computer lab, then it was mostly image porn because the videos were not that popular yet considering that the average transfer speed was 50 kb / s

The Sound of dial-up Internet - YouTube

So, he became a laughingstock, his parents were believers so they were too happy about it too

He was a skateboarder and he was skateboarding, one day a rogue got on him, and he got pissed and smashed this bully's head with his board enough to say that the ambulance dispatcher had to have the Mi-26 rescue helicopter of our Polish Air Ambulance Service at his disposal, the latter the boy was brought to the trauma centre and the surgeons made his skull trepanations, he was charged with heavy criminal charges, and more precisely for exceeding the limits of self-defence, and a qualified battery

He had a psychiatric observation and the psychiatrists stated that at the time of the crime he had limited sanity, he was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD.

Our Polish court has refrained from imposing a sentence on the condition that he will receive psychiatric treatment and control his outbursts of anger



Offset
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28 Dec 2021, 5:31 am

It didn't help, or help your agenda or identity any better. Really anybody who was weird, or offbeat, or different, or marches to their own beat etc. got it, and got it good, and that's how it was. The only people exempt were the good looking/attractive kids at school, the popular kids at school, the athletes/athletic kids/jocks/cheerleaders, the band/choir/music theatre/glee club/av club/school newspaper kids, the wealthy/upper class/rich kids, and kids who were nerds/geeks, but had good charisma and appeal, or they had a good looking and popular or rich sibling, so that was a loophole, so they weren't treated as such. etc.

If you weren't any of that, it was kinda an equal playing field. Being gay and atypical/autistic, at least for me when I was at High School, meant I kept to myself, and was bullied, and because of the bullies, I would ditch school quite a bit. I would ride the train, and listen to my Ipod and read books at the park or nature reserve. Get on the train and come back home. Do the same thing the next day, and ditch every single day. It's a miracle I graduated from High School. When I did show up to school, I just had good credits and grades on my work and tests, so I got lucky I suppose lol. I was made fun of, and people thought I was weird. I just ignored them, and listened to my Ipod. I would draw and write stories, I went straight home when the bell at 2 o'lock rang, to watch cartoons and anime and play Tony Hawk or The Sims lol. Yeah, I accepted it.

The thing is, I went to High School 2005-2009, so maybe things are different now. I think bullying is viewed differently now for kids younger than me, and went to High School after me etc.

Another sad thing, is adulthood isn't much different. Being gay and autistic, and having PTSD from High School days, and trying to socialize now as an adult, it's tough, and I see peoples colors start to come out, and it's very toxic and sad. People are more covert with their bullying, or disdain for you as adults, but I just don't associate myself with those people. I know that there are open minded people out there, so I focus and direct my attention to them. So yeah.

Thank you. :)



pawelk1986
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28 Dec 2021, 6:09 am

Offset wrote:
It didn't help, or help your agenda or identity any better. Really anybody who was weird, or offbeat, or different, or marches to their own beat etc. got it, and got it good, and that's how it was. The only people exempt were the good looking/attractive kids at school, the popular kids at school, the athletes/athletic kids/jocks/cheerleaders, the band/choir/music theatre/glee club/av club/school newspaper kids, the wealthy/upper class/rich kids, and kids who were nerds/geeks, but had good charisma and appeal, or they had a good looking and popular or rich sibling, so that was a loophole, so they weren't treated as such. etc.

If you weren't any of that, it was kinda an equal playing field. Being gay and atypical/autistic, at least for me when I was at High School, meant I kept to myself, and was bullied, and because of the bullies, I would ditch school quite a bit. I would ride the train, and listen to my Ipod and read books at the park or nature reserve. Get on the train and come back home. Do the same thing the next day, and ditch every single day. It's a miracle I graduated from High School. When I did show up to school, I just had good credits and grades on my work and tests, so I got lucky I suppose lol. I was made fun of, and people thought I was weird. I just ignored them, and listened to my Ipod. I would draw and write stories, I went straight home when the bell at 2 o'lock rang, to watch cartoons and anime and play Tony Hawk or The Sims lol. Yeah, I accepted it.

The thing is, I went to High School 2005-2009, so maybe things are different now. I think bullying is viewed differently now for kids younger than me, and went to High School after me etc.

Another sad thing, is adulthood isn't much different. Being gay and autistic, and having PTSD from High School days, and trying to socialize now as an adult, it's tough, and I see peoples colors start to come out, and it's very toxic and sad. People are more covert with their bullying, or disdain for you as adults, but I just don't associate myself with those people. I know that there are open minded people out there, so I focus and direct my attention to them. So yeah.

Thank you. :)


The story I described above I heard around 2000, the guy was very energetic, he had a suspicion of ADHD, no one suspected him of being gay, although he may have Asperger.

His "friends" only found out that he was gay because he was browsing gay pornography and forgot to clear his browsing history, and then they started to torment him and not all of them because it was hard not to like him.

Until he pissed off and severely beat the tormentor, to such an extent that it was necessary to call the air ambulance

After that, he was given the choice of either being responsible for an inadvertent attempted murder in a highly agitated state, or going to an open psychiatric treatment center for behavioral therapy, which was a center for children with schizophrenia, ADHD, Autism, Tourette's syndrome, etc.

I was there too, but out of my free will I was not sent there by the family court criminal chamber, as it was in the case of my friend :D



CinderashAutomaton
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29 Dec 2021, 7:05 pm

I wasn't aware that I was autistic, or potentially bisexual, until adulthood where people are typically more mature and think more for themselves. I wasn't out until my 20's, and diagnosed with ASD until my 30's. My ADHD is very minor.

I've never been bullied for being lgbt+ or having ASD. I kind of lucked out, with lgbt+ appearing more in news and popular media as I entered my 20's. I also live near enough to a huge lgbt+ population center that the culture of acceptance was enough to quash the noise of bigoted traditionalists.

That being said, I was still bullied in elementary and high school anyway. I was too small and not aggressive enough to push off the attention of bullies. If I had been non-hetero and out in either elementary or high-school, it probably would have been a lot worse. The social environment was pervasively and casually homophobic. No one that I knew was out, so there was no chance to see how brutal people in my area could be.

Sadly there seemed to be a lot of hate towards 'tranvestites', though. Without that, and being able to see more feminine-leaning guys, I'd probably have had a much healthier growth into the femboy personality I seem to gravitate towards rather than eventually ending up with the PTSD-guarded trauma I can't talk about.

Thinking back, it was probably a very good thing I didn't know what I was back then. Half-way through high-school, before the worst of the bullying ended, I was starting to fight back with weapons. Only reason it never got that far was because of either the lack of good potential weapons nearby, the more numerous aggressors, the presence of authority figures, or my self-control that stopped me at the last moment. If the bullying was worse because of being bisexual or autistic, I might have ended up being charged with violent crimes too. My bullies certainly weren't averse to using weapons. Only difference between them and I would have been the amount of force needed to accomplish our goals.


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cuckold808
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20 Jan 2022, 12:48 pm

I never told anyone I had aspergers in high school or university because it would be social suicide. I came out as gay when i was sixteen years old but at that point I was mostly friends with girls and snug in the friendzone where as a gay man where i wanted to be.



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23 Jan 2022, 10:51 pm

cuckold808 wrote:
I never told anyone I had aspergers in high school because it would be social suicide.


Neither did I.

Over the years, I have accused of being gay when in fact I am straight.
Just because I've known many people who are LGBTQ+ does not I'm gay as well.
There is no logic or reasoning to this.


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Edna3362
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30 Jan 2022, 12:27 pm

Neither.

I was bullied because of chronic rhinitis more than any oddities of autism.

Autism can be dismissed as being raised in a foreign land or something. If I tried, it's easily hidden.
If I do it right, I'd stand out in a good way.

But I cannot hide the damnable sneezing.
It's loud, disgusting, distracting and it hurts.
It's the main source of my embarrassment and suffering, it made me a more dysfunctional than the supposedly label that made me disabled.
Even to this day, and more than ever now since the pandemic.


Asexuality is overlooked or denied, however.

My lack of having crushes, lacking interest in romance or sex either confuses them, thought out of jest, became worried enough trying to reassure me that I'll meet someone, dismissed as a part of autism, dismissed as a part of immaturity, lucky because I likely won't get heartbreaks, or thought I'm aspiring to become a nun.

But otherwise, no bullying.


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Lost_dragon
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03 Feb 2022, 9:41 am

I was bullied for being gay and I was also bullied for other reasons. However, to focus on the former for the purposes of this thread, it started off fairly small and got worse over time. It began with the odd gay joke, even before I knew about that part of myself I had the odd joke directed at me. That I didn't mind so much, it more just left me puzzled. However, as time went on the odd joke changed into making up chants. Which was a bit annoying.

Then there was a running joke about me having a girlfriend. Our PE class always had an odd number, so a couple of the girls made up a fictional person and would tell me that I should go make a pair with her and there were jokes about her being my girlfriend. All rather strange behaviour. The chants were annoying and I didn't like the running joke either. One of the girls kept pressuring me to admit to being gay and come out. I found this irritating and wished she'd mind her business. Kept asking me to prove that I liked men when I just wanted to be left alone.

By far the worst bullying I experienced was the physical attack. Someone overheard me come out to someone else and he didn't like it. Unfortunately, in response he decided to tell his friends and they ambushed me. It was quite a brutal attack and I used to have flashbacks of the event. One guy spat at me and another called me disgusting. I don't particularly like going into much detail, it's certainly not something I'd want to relive. Something that helped me move on was revisiting the place many years later and making positive memories there.


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16 Mar 2022, 4:54 pm

Edna3362 wrote:

Asexuality is overlooked or denied, however.

My lack of having crushes, lacking interest in romance or sex either confuses them, thought out of jest, became worried enough trying to reassure me that I'll meet someone, dismissed as a part of autism, dismissed as a part of immaturity, lucky because I likely won't get heartbreaks, or thought I'm aspiring to become a nun.


My NT sister can relate to this.

She identifies as asexual, but whenever our bigoted uncles visit, they almost immediately get into their inners sexists and ask her "So, have you found yourself a boyfriend yet?"

Our bigoted uncles both believe asexuality isn't real in the same way they both believe the spectrum isn't real. They also believe that the only for a man to "man up" (spectrum and NT alike) is to enlist in the US Armed Forces and the only for a woman to be happy is to settle down before doing anything else.


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Forest Green Organ Geek
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26 May 2022, 8:48 am

I don't have autism but I am eccentric due to having water on the brain. I used to think it was autism because someone diagnosed me as such. But that was a misdiagnosis from a not very competent "shrink" back in the 1980s.
But I digress. I love being eccentric. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Normal is boring!
As for being LGBTQ, I love that as well, but Mum was the last person to find out because she's strict and even when I was merely dropping hints she got angry at me. So I didn't confirm her suspicion and come out... until I was in my 40s! (I'm 54 now.)
I've been bullied all my life for my eccentricities and my sexuality. That's lousy to the max! Because I love my eccentricities and my sexuality. I especially hate RELIGIOUS bullies. I call them "un-clergy" because they think they know everything about religion but they surely don't. (But any bully drives me nuts even if they are not religious.)
I have lived at "Climping" (name has been changed for privacy reasons) Independent Living Apartments since 2011. There were always MORE snotty/homophobic/ableist people living there than nice, compassionate people. The staff are very good and compassionate (but with a few exceptions, not the residents). That's so bleeh!
Please know that I am a highly sensitive person (and proud of it; I love strong emotions), and that it is a heavy blow to me to be bullied. Especially when it has gone on ALL MY LIFE, and that even SENIOR CITIZENS can be bullies. "Older and wiser"? I don't think so!
The ONLY people who NEVER bullied me are: my parents,
Mum's relatives,
my friends and their families,
and my neighbors when I lived in a house with my parents.
Even some of my teachers bullied me (verbally). And Dad's relatives are Bible-thumpers, so they bullied me as well (until I told Dad I don't want any more contact with them. Dad is the only reasonable person in his family! Bible thumping doesn't appeal to him; he's a believer but not rabid about it. But I'm not a believer anymore and that's fine.)
So yes, I've been bullied so much I think of it being like that cartoon where an anvil falls from the sky!
Please don't say "what doesn't kill you..." Because I hate philosophical cliches. They don't fit my highly sensitive personality and my all-or-nothing thinking. What doesn't kill me TRAUMATIZES me FOR LIFE. And I don't want to be razzed for being sensitive. Toughness is overrated, toughness is overrated.
Thank you for letting me cry my eyes out.



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29 May 2023, 12:07 am

I was bullied a lot during my PE class in middle school. There was a group of girls who would do stuff like send one of them over to me and pretend they wanted to be my friend. Then she’d tell me she liked doing dirty things, laugh, and then walk away. Random instances like that, just trying to talk to me and being completely weird about it so they could make fun of me. They were in my science class too, yikes, I was so confused because all they ever did was gossip about people and act mean in general. The main girl of that group would also brag about being pulled over by police for driving without a license. She obviously had her own issues, so I don’t take it personally anymore. I didn’t even know I was gay, or sending signals that I’m gay. It mostly just felt like a weird experience, especially since I’d ask my friends about it and they’d tell me I was imagining things.


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29 May 2023, 1:39 am

Well I did get bullied because maybe peeople thought I was gay.

In HS I dressed more boyish, I was not actually gay...I might be bi though, but idk I was just wearing what was comfortable to me at the time, but some people did take issue with it. Would ask me if I was a boy or girl when they already knew I was a girl who identified as being a girl. But other than that I got bullied for being 'differen't' but I think a lot of that was the autism as well, like maked me look like an easy target and sometimes I was.


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29 May 2023, 1:43 am

Lost_dragon wrote:
I was bullied for being gay and I was also bullied for other reasons. However, to focus on the former for the purposes of this thread, it started off fairly small and got worse over time. It began with the odd gay joke, even before I knew about that part of myself I had the odd joke directed at me. That I didn't mind so much, it more just left me puzzled. However, as time went on the odd joke changed into making up chants. Which was a bit annoying.

Then there was a running joke about me having a girlfriend. Our PE class always had an odd number, so a couple of the girls made up a fictional person and would tell me that I should go make a pair with her and there were jokes about her being my girlfriend. All rather strange behaviour. The chants were annoying and I didn't like the running joke either. One of the girls kept pressuring me to admit to being gay and come out. I found this irritating and wished she'd mind her business. Kept asking me to prove that I liked men when I just wanted to be left alone.

By far the worst bullying I experienced was the physical attack. Someone overheard me come out to someone else and he didn't like it. Unfortunately, in response he decided to tell his friends and they ambushed me. It was quite a brutal attack and I used to have flashbacks of the event. One guy spat at me and another called me disgusting. I don't particularly like going into much detail, it's certainly not something I'd want to relive. Something that helped me move on was revisiting the place many years later and making positive memories there.



I'm horrified by this. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. :(



colliegrace
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29 May 2023, 3:00 am

I was bullied mainly because the kids bullying me were growing up in a domestically abusive home and were taking it out on me. They did many things, including stealing from my actual home and then gaslit me when I recognized one of my toys at their house.

I have been targeted for my sexuality as an adult though.


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