Anyone alarmed by the sudden increase in Homophobia?

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Silence23
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26 Feb 2023, 4:42 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I've always liked men twice my age. When I was 14 I really fancied a 36-year-old (which would be too young for me now).


Would you consider such a relationship appropriate now?

When I was 24 years old a 14 year old girl fancied me and kept initiating online social interaction with me for 4 years. At age 18 (still virgin) she initiated sexting with me and wanted to meet me. Wouldn't it have been inappropriate if I agreed to the meeting? I liked her, but I didn't agree to the meeting (though I was torn - it was the time when I became asexual). Should I have agreed to meet her?



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26 Feb 2023, 7:09 pm

Silence23 wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I've always liked men twice my age. When I was 14 I really fancied a 36-year-old (which would be too young for me now).


Would you consider such a relationship appropriate now?

When I was 24 years old a 14 year old girl fancied me and kept initiating online social interaction with me for 4 years. At age 18 (still virgin) she initiated sexting with me and wanted to meet me. Wouldn't it have been inappropriate if I agreed to the meeting? I liked her, but I didn't agree to the meeting (though I was torn - it was the time when I became asexual). Should I have agreed to meet her?


When she was 18 you would have been 28, so I don't think it would have been illegal being so she was old enough. I was 24 when I first met my boyfriend, who was about 52 then I think.
But there's no should've or shouldn't've in your case (when she was 18), as you did what you felt was right for you.


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Silence23
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27 Feb 2023, 2:57 pm

I think it's a bit weird when an experienced man has something with an unexperienced young woman. It may result in abusive relationships. But it depends on the individual case. 24 year old woman and 52 year old man is fine, as 24 years is already experienced.



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12 Mar 2023, 3:03 pm

Absolutely. LGBTQ hate is definitely ramping up again and it's terrifying because it means our rights are in danger and progressing forward will be that much harder.


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12 Mar 2023, 7:08 pm

colliegrace wrote:
Absolutely. LGBTQ hate is definitely ramping up again and it's terrifying because it means our rights are in danger and progressing forward will be that much harder.


I certainly hope it's not. I live in a very gay-friendly area so I wouldn't know. Most of the hate I see is primarily online and directed at trans people, especially trans-women.



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12 Mar 2023, 11:13 pm

Certain political ideologies require an other to direct hostility towards. Gay and trans people are a popular punching bag for those sorts.

The increase hopefully indicates desperation from those people, which hopefully means it's things getting worse before they get better.


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12 Mar 2023, 11:25 pm

lil_hippie wrote:
colliegrace wrote:
Absolutely. LGBTQ hate is definitely ramping up again and it's terrifying because it means our rights are in danger and progressing forward will be that much harder.


I certainly hope it's not. I live in a very gay-friendly area so I wouldn't know. Most of the hate I see is primarily online and directed at trans people, especially trans-women.

I am thinking mostly of the laws being passed about trans people and drag shows. I absolutely do not think it will stop there.


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13 Mar 2023, 12:17 am

I struggle to see an increase in homophobia. I'm not saying it doesn't exist. I'm just saying it isn't something I'm aware of.

I'm old. I'm not old enough to have been one of those people in the 70s and 80s going to 10 funerals a month because all my friends are dying of aids (which was this scary unknown back then), but my older friends were living that reality as they went to funerals for their older friends. I missed all that by a few years. I only knew two people (that I was close to) who died from aids. I'm lucky. I remember people being afraid to even come out to friends because if one of them got pissed at you and outed you, you ran the risk of being beaten and left half dead on a road somewhere. You mostly kept that stuff to yourself.

I know things are different now. I know we've made huge strides forward. I also know that while my town has issues, being homophobic and transphobic aren't things that I see a lot of here. Hell, you go to one part of town and you'll be right at home if your lqbtq(plus). Again, I am lucky. I am sheltered. I know this. It's not like this everywhere. But this is what I know. This is my normal.

I don't do social media. Unless you count this place. My interactions with the world outside the little bubble I've created for myself leave me in the dark in a lot of things. In a lot of ways. I hope there isn't a sudden increase in homophobia. And if it is some knee jerk reaction by some scared folks, I hope they stop with their fits and settle down sooner than later. Ultimately though, progress is scary to people. Change is scary to people. I imagine it would be normal to have some steps backwards while moving forward. Hopefully the steps back are small and don't last long or do much damage.

I hope this doesn't come across as unsympathetic. I just struggle to see it because in my day to day life, I don't see it. I do hope that this isn't a trend that will continue.



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13 Mar 2023, 2:14 am

I think that, in my area, it hasn't increased but rather it's always been there. Unfortunately I have experienced homophobia in the past. Both verbally and physically.

Within this forum I have talked about the types of jokes which occur within my workplace. I am also unfortunate to know a friend who was beaten up in a bar in recent years. Friends who would absolutely be disowned if their family knew. That's why our group is so important.

I've been out for a while, but there's still a 'what if things go wrong?' worry within me.


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13 Mar 2023, 6:22 pm

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
I struggle to see an increase in homophobia. I'm not saying it doesn't exist. I'm just saying it isn't something I'm aware of.

I hope this doesn't come across as unsympathetic. I just struggle to see it because in my day to day life, I don't see it. I do hope that this isn't a trend that will continue.


I think access to the internet has mostly to do with it. Even if you don't encounter it on a day-to-day basis, if you are connected to the internet, you're constantly hearing about instances of it happening which can lead to a feeling that it happens everywhere with great frequency.



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21 Mar 2023, 12:38 am

What you all seem to be overlooking is the inherent weakness of community within LGBTQ groups. There's an assumption that all LGBTQs have something in common with each other which is fictitious. Also, there's alot of insular group think cliques who live in a self-imposed and self-validating bubble who are convinced that things have gotten brtter. That may be the case in these bubbles but not outside of them.



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22 Mar 2023, 4:39 pm

AnomalousAspergian wrote:
What you all seem to be overlooking is the inherent weakness of community within LGBTQ groups. There's an assumption that all LGBTQs have something in common with each other which is fictitious. Also, there's alot of insular group think cliques who live in a self-imposed and self-validating bubble who are convinced that things have gotten brtter. That may be the case in these bubbles but not outside of them.


Susan quit so she is not suspicious, or at least is trying very hard to not look suspicious. I keep getting recommended Ben Shapiro vids even when I haven't searched for anything remotely trans related. I don't know who or whom is responsible for the transphobic youtube algorithm. Might even be a group of people. Or worse, the algorithm could have a mind of its own and is a sentient transphobic robot.



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25 Mar 2023, 10:14 am

AnomalousAspergian wrote:
What you all seem to be overlooking is the inherent weakness of community within LGBTQ groups. There's an assumption that all LGBTQs have something in common with each other which is fictitious. Also, there's alot of insular group think cliques who live in a self-imposed and self-validating bubble who are convinced that things have gotten brtter. That may be the case in these bubbles but not outside of them.

I think autistic communities suffer from the same problem. Autistic people don't really have all that much in common, a few things but when you get down to it there is probably at least as wide a range of personal experience as in any neurotypical community. In fact, I have become convinced autism isn't really a thing, rather it's a whole collection of things that affect different people in different degrees and are lumped together as "autism". Asperger's Syndrome does seem like a thing. Any group of people who have been diagnosed with AS are going to have similar experiences especially when grouped by gender (let's leave it at that). Unfortunately AS was discontinued as a formal diagnosis which has probably made things worse for some people.


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25 Mar 2023, 2:11 pm

Yes, there has been a general increase in hate crimes over the past several years, which some attribute to push back from heteronormativity. It tends to be the case, at least in the U.S. that once a marginalized group makes visible gains there is always a backlash. About 4 years ago, I was working in a lab with people a decade younger than me (like 19-21 y/o) who literally used homophobic jokes and slurs as the 50-year-old employees. Coworkers belonging to the cohorts in between were much more tolerant. Could just be anecdotal but seems to track with the data I see.



Dmitriy Johnovich Volkov
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14 Apr 2023, 4:25 pm

yes, there's so much more homophobic/transphobic things happening now and it's managed to shove me BACK into the closet... gruh... :skull:


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21 Sep 2023, 9:44 am

You guys are right about the increase of homophobia and transphobia, but it's mostly online for middle-aged people, and kids are super just casually transphobic these days.
As a high schooler, I can tell you I see ableism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism and racism almost every day. It's not gone, and if I had the wrong friends in middle school, I'd probably be in the closet right now. (not to say they were all supportive)


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