You ever feel like you might be a gay man in a woman's body?

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Pinnygig
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22 Oct 2011, 2:55 pm

I've just seen this thread, and oddly, a gay man in a woman's body is exactly how I've described myself at times. I am attracted to men and yet I don't feel like a woman. I want very much to be a woman but I feel like I have to try really hard to be feminine to the point that I've even been described as camp. How can a woman be camp??? Maybe a drag-queen in a woman's body would have been a more accurate description.

However, since I discovered I have AS, that has explained it all for me, and the tag of "Aspie female" actually feels like it fits me perfectly :)



hanyo
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22 Oct 2011, 2:59 pm

Pinnygig wrote:
I want very much to be a woman but I feel like I have to try really hard to be feminine to the point that I've even been described as camp.


There was a time when I was younger and I dressed sexy and had multiple times where someone thought I was male despite my wearing a short skirt and/or having cleavage showing. Once some random woman at the mall thought I was male, another time it was a gay guy in a bar. At one time my friends told me I looked like RuPaul.

Since I started dressing in looser and more androgynous clothing I haven't been called a male even once.



myth
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26 Oct 2011, 9:20 am

My initial thought when I started to read this thread was: No, I think the stereotypical "flaming gay" man is more feminine than I am. I'm not really feminine at all. I don't enjoy anything that females are supposed to like and I don't identify with being female at all.

However then I read this:

whatamess wrote:
Interesting...I never liked "manly men". They were a big turn-off for me. I remember one guy I really liked in HS that I liked partly because he was more "gentle, effiminate?"

I agree with this. I've always been attracted to slim somewhat, effeminate men and I find manly men or big buff guys to be very unnatractive. Two guys I had crushes on in highschool are most likely gay (one came out afterward, far as I know the other hasn't but there's religious factors where they're not "allowed" to be gay so it's still likely that he is supressing it) and another that I dated was openly bi. They were all slim and petite-framed. So this comment I can definately relate to.


But I'd still probably think I have to say no. I am not a gay male. I think of myself more as genderless and I am just attracted to other androgynous people. I'm not opposed to a relationship with a feminine-looking female, though. Interesting.

If pressed to pick a gender to identify with, I would have to choose male but I'd rather not choose. Gender is irrelevant, imo, but I'm definately not a "woman." It's possible I may have ended up a lesbian or a "man trapped in a woman's body" or bi at the very least if I was not similarly influenced by strong religious factors while growing up. Now I'm happily married to a straight (and relatively manly-looking) man so I see no reason to go back and question my orientation at this time. Besides, those orientations still require a gender identity which I prefer not to have.


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diniesaur
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26 Oct 2011, 9:52 am

I feel like that all the time. There are so many males who I am not attracted to as a person with a vagina, but who I am extremely attracted to when I think of myself as a male. I always want to feel "manly" and I like other males to wear dresses because it feels like I'm more manly than them and it feels like I will get to be a man when I have sex with them. There are so many other reasons why I would rather be male, but my mom says I can't "pursue" it because she won't let me see my brother.

That said, I also would enjoy women as a man.



Kenn_San
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29 Oct 2011, 10:35 am

This makes me think of a couple of my friends - I honestly can't get my head around their situation (When I try to put logic to it :P)

Both of them are in a relationship with one another, but BOTH of them are transgender gay. I find no problem with it but trying to work it out make my head 'splode.



LogoLuver1
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20 Nov 2011, 3:56 pm

I feel like a gay man in a female's body also, though I still feel female. I may act like a tomboy, but I also feel like a masculine gay man, or a "bear." :lol: When I have an attraction with boys, especially when I was young, I felt like I was gay for some reason, and when I had an attraction with girls, I felt straight. I still feel that way now. Weird, huh?

I'll admit, I've sometimes wished I had a penis, to know what it feels like, but I don't wish for a sex change. Does that still make me a transgender?



zitkala
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20 Apr 2016, 7:19 pm

Holy sh_t!
Thank you for helping me identify my problem! I lived for a quarter of a century not knowing who I am. Finally happend, oh yeah!
My first love when i was 3-4 y.o. was Feddie Mercury..
An odd start.
I always wanted to be a boy, acted like a boy, I looked handsome, even prostitues were after me..
I hated girls, hated me being a girl. They did not attract me. Sometimes I notice that they're beautiful, and I have great pleasure when they say to me, 'oh, if I were a guy'..because I know I could seduce them but I would never touch them (cause I'm a gay man, heh, that's why:) I always have dreams where I have penis.
I like men, I get well with them. The problem comes when it's sextime.
I've never let anyone to..yeah, I'm a virgin.
I feel sexie when I dress like men. And confused when I dress like a woman.
So I'm a gay man in a straight woman's bodie, so except the genitals,
there's no problem:)



kraftiekortie
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20 Apr 2016, 7:40 pm

I'm a straight man who wishes he had a woman's body. I want to know how a lady feels when she climaxes.



green0star
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21 Apr 2016, 9:17 am

I felt like that about 6 years ago, then 4 years ago I learned I was genderqueer.



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23 Apr 2016, 1:24 am

Peko wrote:
Okay, I'll give you the peeing thing... but for some reason almost every guy I've met has let their genitals control their brains :roll:.
That ain't the penis's fault. And, they are fun, friendly and not so bad. They stand up to say hi and don't like to be cold.


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23 Apr 2016, 1:32 am

zitkala wrote:
Holy sh_t!
Thank you for helping me identify my problem! I lived for a quarter of a century not knowing who I am. Finally happend, oh yeah!
My first love when i was 3-4 y.o. was Feddie Mercury..
An odd start.
I always wanted to be a boy, acted like a boy, I looked handsome, even prostitues were after me..
I hated girls, hated me being a girl. They did not attract me. Sometimes I notice that they're beautiful, and I have great pleasure when they say to me, 'oh, if I were a guy'..because I know I could seduce them but I would never touch them (cause I'm a gay man, heh, that's why:) I always have dreams where I have penis.
I like men, I get well with them. The problem comes when it's sextime.
I've never let anyone to..yeah, I'm a virgin.
I feel sexie when I dress like men. And confused when I dress like a woman.
So I'm a gay man in a straight woman's bodie, so except the genitals,
there's no problem:)


Congratulations!

Up until the 90's researchers would not, could not conceive that sexuality (who you go to be with) was separate and distinct from identity (who you go to bed as). Then the neurology studies started rolling in...now it's pretty much accepted in the field.

Just a side note: among trans people, about a third are straight, a third are bi and a third are gay. It is not inconsistent at all to be female assigned at birth (FAAB), identify as a man, and be attracted to men.


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24 Apr 2016, 6:25 am

One time I had a chick say to me "if you were a guy I'd totally date you" o-o I wasn't sure how to react to that. Years later I still don't. But go figure, I still feel like where was this topic 6 years ago when I needed it xD