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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

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Joined: 20 Sep 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 2

25 Sep 2011, 5:13 am

OK trying to work out which sub forum to write this in is overloading my brain so I chose this one for reasons that will be apparent below. Sorry If I go on a bit but I need to decompress.

I'm trying to explore the possibility that my 'issues' might be explained by mild AS, but not doing to well as my fear of being laughed at makes me clam up and by not being direct I end up being misinterpreted which I then get frustrated at which led to a rather unproductive session with my therapist yesterday.

I've had a bad few years where my personal life and professional life have been pretty unstable and the structures I tried to build up to cope with the world kept being knocked down and even now are pretty unstable because I haven't been able to sever ties with my ex partner.... this instability and the resultant stresses pushed me to a point where I was diagnosed as Bipolar 2 because of my inability to cope and the fact I was overwhelmed and acted out (though it never really fit and the drugs didn't work).

Having spent time with a therapist for the first time in my life rather than a counsellor who just listened or a psych who gave me medication and having moved back to my parents where I am allowed to spend time by myself in my room with a lot less pressure to interact with the world has let me get to know myself a bit better.

Anyway, the reason I wrote in here....

I'm one of those transsexuals and this has added an extra layer of complexity for me in my interactions with the world, which was never easy anyway, in that for me at least it is something else that makes knowing how to interact with people harder as I end up worrying that I am doing everything the wrong way and people are laughing at me behind my back.

I have added issues because growing up while I come from a loving middle class family things were never stable either because of my younger siblings illness with allergys and athsma, my mums unpredictibility with being full blown bipolar and my extended family being less than stable and constantly falling out. To top it all off my family are West of Scotand Irish catholic so the issues with people who are 'different' have been ingrained and the reaction to hints at me being trans was never positive from family or peers when younger.

Sorry for writing all that but I at least want to give some background to try and avoid misunderstandings.

At the moment I am really struggling with loneliness but my issues with trust have taken over after what has happened the last few years and I find social situations so overwhelming or confusing as I constantly try to work out peoples real intentions of with the fear of rejection because of who I am or because I don't do or say the right thing

I guess this is an attempt to reach out and see if I can find a place to fit in even if it is just online where I won't be ostracised because I slipped up and did something weird without realising it.

Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

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Joined: 4 Sep 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 178

25 Sep 2011, 7:24 am

Hi there, just wanted to say I read your post and do empathise with your situation. I'm not in an entirely comparable situation myself (though I do have aspergers), being a 32yo straight female from Australia. However, I can really relate to your finding social situations confusing and being afraid of not saying the right things. It's the aspie curse!

Anyway it's great that you've found Wrong Planet because from my few weeks here I've found it to be a very warm and welcoming online community that has lots of supportive people. I hope you find it helps too.

All the best!


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Joined: 4 Feb 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 432

27 Sep 2011, 10:28 am

Hi there, I can understand what you are going through, because I am a transsexual and also have Aspergers.
I have always felt that my gender incongruence has made it even harder to interact, because I am always second guessing my actions in the first place.
I'm hoping to start hormone therapy in the near future, to bring my body into line with my mind.
Feel free to message me, or respond here if you would like to chat.

AQ Score: 44/50 Aspie Quiz: 175/200-Aspie 31/200-NT

Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams.
Ralph Waldo Emerson