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So i want a boyfriend so much (im a gay male) and its in the back of my head most of the time but i feel a bit jealous when im around my friend and his girlfriend and when im by myself watching a movie just thinking, im like, "i wish i had a guy that i could watch movies with and that would understand me" i never had a boyfriend before and its hard to find a guy that likes guys like me because im socially different and stuff. also when im in bed i always dream of a guy right next to me. during the day i rarely think about being in a relationship unless the subject comes up somehow. i am waiting for college for one and im a senior in high school finishing up so hopefully i find one. i dont just date anyone hahaha and the guys in my school either are pricks or they just dont match up with me. i am one of the nicest caring people you will ever meet. im looking for a guy that is around my size (im 6'2) or bigger/taller than me because im a submissive kind of guy. i cant help it that i have random thoughts about being with someone but it doesnt really interfere with my life and i enjoy being single for now because i enjoy having fun with friends and such and  i wanna be with someone who is right for me and not just a guy i can date and then be like f*** you we are breaking up. i just want it to happen naturally. i know this is a long post because i wanted to get how i feel out. tell me any advice that you can think of and stuff, thank you so much  for reading

great post-I feel the exact same way you do but am much older than you and recently found out about my AS and now I know why it is so difficult for me to meet people and to try and have a relationship-I thought I found another aspie that understood me but its a long story and I got hurt by this other aspie-but I think its great that you know about your difficulties at 18 and can compensate somewhat and understand why you may have difficulties meeting the right person-it's too late for me and I missed out on a lot and I look back at all my NT peers and see them on their second marriages and have kids so I know at least they had "relations" for as many kids that they have-I have not had any of any kind. I do get sad when I see people romantically involved and I am alone and or a third wheel-this other aspie I mentioned said-"well maybe you should start going to places by yourself" I got really upset because I have done that all my life and do not want to go places by myself anymore-and he should know that being an aspie himself what its like to go places all alone and leave all alone too.I wish I had a solution to help you but I would love to know how also-it is difficult and after a bad experience at a picnic where everyone turned away from me when I tried to meet people and no one talked to me very little or at all at this picnic-it made me feel real frustrated.

thank you so much for understanding i know that parts of life arent perfect and from what you were saying to me, you will find someone who isnt a b**** like that guy was and i know i sound A bit blunt here but he didnt sound very nice and you sound like a very nice guy. everyone has at least a match for them. its impossible to have no one that likes you for who you are unless you make it that way. good luck finding someone then you wont feel jealous anymore. i have dealt with this one guy in the past i was gonna date after a thing we had but luckily i didnt because he was a shallow prick who started s*** over nothing and it lead to him constantly bullying me where he talked bad about me behind my back and said stuff about me loudly as i walk by. hes an aspie by the way. im glad he stopped messing with me. it was one of those moments where it triggered that sometimes i would feel that people are against me and stuff. to be honest its hard to find good friends and even a boyfriend. everyone has a chance for a great life

At my age and stage, I have certainly been around this mill.

When I was your age, I was a closeted (but nearly ready to emerge) young man at a small university in a tiny town. We had no gay organization on campus back then, no gay bar in town, nothing. But somehow in the midst of all of that, from among my friends my first boyfriend emerged. We we young, shallow--and let's face it--hormonally enhanced. But there was, nonetheless a relationship there.

When I went on to other, bigger universities in other, bigger towns, my social circle began to expand, and other relationships presented themselves. Some brief, some merely one-night stands. But almost invariably the men that I connected with were men that I knew as friends or colleagues before I knew them as dates. "Looking for a boyfriend" for me was a pursuit that always ended in disappointment. For me, my relationships were always with men that I accidentally discovered among people that I already knew.

I'm sure the next guy you will find won't end in dissapointment just keep your head up and stay postitive, I learned this because not everything comes to you right away and there is a positive side/benefit to everything, even relationships have drawbacks and benefits.