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Psychocandy
Tufted Titmouse
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14 Jul 2012, 1:23 pm

I'm biologically male, however I don't feel either male or female, I see myself as simply a person. I don't conform to traditional gender

stereotypes - I'm comfortable with my body and appearance, however. These feelings I've been having recently are quite

confusing to me, and can anybody else relate to them? I appreciate femininity and I find masculinity doesn't suit my personality

at all, however I don't mind having a male body, however I want to develop a more neutral or androgynous appearance. Can anybody

give me tips, or is there anything I need to know that might help me?



Bio_Info_Seeker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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14 Jul 2012, 1:56 pm

Everything is about reducing your anxiety levels. What makes you more comfortable: acting the way you want even though it's not the accepted norm or being "normal"?

The key is to simple to be yourself. The people around will care more about how you are as a person or what you can accomplish than if you are masculine or feminine. Gender is rarely important. In the end, every human being is simply a "person".

(Is this a standard answer that doesn't help you at all?)

If you need pratical advice: don't try cross-dressing or sex change because that will most likely get you into trouble. And if you date women, you may not be popular among them who are looking for "masculine types".



Psychocandy
Tufted Titmouse
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14 Jul 2012, 2:04 pm

Bio_Info_Seeker wrote:
Everything is about reducing your anxiety levels. What makes you more comfortable: acting the way you want even though it's not the accepted norm or being "normal"?

The key is to simple to be yourself. The people around will care more about how you are as a person or what you can accomplish than if you are masculine or feminine. Gender is rarely important. In the end, every human being is simply a "person".

(Is this a standard answer that doesn't help you at all?)

If you need pratical advice: don't try cross-dressing or sex change because that will most likely get you into trouble. And if you date women, you may not be popular among them who are looking for "masculine types".


I don't really care for others opinions :)

I'm not a cross-dresser nor do I feel the need to change my biological sex. However, I don't like conforming to traditional gender roles

Relationships and dating mean nothing to me as I see them as pointless and frivolous pursuits, and I'm asexual.

PS: All answers help and I am grateful for any advice given by anybody.


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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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14 Jul 2012, 2:11 pm

Quote:
I don't really care for others opinions

If you don't care for other's opinions, you shouldn't be asking for help. :wink:



questor
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14 Jul 2012, 2:57 pm

You are describing "Asexual." There's nothing wrong with that, if that's what you want. I am an asexual female, and always have been. I am okay with that. I don't wear dresses, skirts, high heels, or make up, but that's my choice, and I don't care for them.

Just be yourself, as long as that's not someone evil.



keerawa
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21 Jul 2012, 7:41 pm

I've got X-Y chromosomes, breasts and a vagina, but I don't consider myself male or female. I wish there was a checkbox on forms for, "None of the above.' I've got no need to change my body, I'm perfectly comfortable with it. Androgyny is one way of describing it, but I prefer genderqueer.

I could happily dress myself out of Army-Navy surplus stores, if you're looking for a visual, and I wear my hair very short not because it's masculine or butch, but because I like the way it feels. In general, an androgynous appearance is accepted in America, unless you live in a particularly conservative area or profession. (If so, and you're worried about your job or safety, bring an NT friend, family member, or colleague along when you go clothes-shopping and give them veto power over anything that might send signals that would be a problem.)

Sounds like you are genderqueer and asexual, and both of those are good ways of being who you are. If you Google those two terms you'll find a lots of sites and organizations and blogs from people with similar experiences.



EXPECIALLY
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25 Jul 2012, 11:01 am

l definitely feel this way.

l take a pretty laid back approach to it, but honestly l feel agender(not asexual. l am a very sexual gay person lol). l choose not to use that label and l think it's the firt time l've ever typed the word. l don't think all of us need to worry about out gender identity or even go so far as to label ourselves as not having one (which is labeling in and of itself).

Anyway, hmmm. Not usually as easy for men to pull off an andro look as it is for women. l've one good male friend who was extremely androgynous in personality but his appearance lead a lot of people to think he was just gay xD


l don't know, l would say just go for what you like and your personality will probably do most of the talking for you. Maybe keep it as simple as possible and avoid facial hair?


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Mus
Tufted Titmouse
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25 Jul 2012, 12:01 pm

EXPECIALLY wrote:
agender(not asexual


I like that. It makes a lot of sense to me.



Glorifel
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31 Jul 2012, 7:09 pm

Physically, I am intersexed, and feel constant pressures to choose "male" or "female". I was lucky that I didn't have any surgeries when I was born to make me one or the other because, while many intersexed people eventually "choose a side", I identity as third gender. If you don't know what that is, start with the Wikipedia article. It's not horribly inaccurate and a good starting point, I think.

Basically, I don't pay attention to whether is something is "masculine" or "feminine". I just do as I feel. I am legally male, but people usually think I am a girl at first glance, I have learned to just go with the flow. I also love feminine things, but am not wishing to "be a girl". At my last job, my supervisor introduced me to the entire accounting department of over 100 people as a girl, so I just went with it. I wear skirts and everything. I'm neither anyway, so even if I say I'm male, it's not entirely accurate. Luckily, my voice is androgynous so I don't really sound completely like either sex. I have accepted that the need to label me as male or female is everyone else's need, and not my own. There isn't a very good chance that third gender is going to have a place anytime soon. The only people that matter, my very few close friends and my father, know who I am and accept that. I don't care about anyone else's opinion.

G.



Flamencita
Tufted Titmouse
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01 Aug 2012, 6:09 am

People like boxes because it means they can process it in their brain and understand it.
We all do it with a lot of things eg tomato is a vegetable, but it is actually a fruit, but we call it a vegetable because it is more savoury than sweet and we use it mostly in savoury dishes.

Psychocandy I really like your attitude - how you are so chilled about other people putting you in boxes here and there because you know yourself who you are and that is what matters.

I myself am biologically female and I am happy with that but I definitely have many masculine ways and I dress in a more masculine way than other girls I know, being almost entirely gay is kinda useful because it allows me to be a bit more masculine and to "wear the pants" so to speak in a relationship or romantic situation.

I am not trans but I do enjoy having a masculine side as well as a feminine one, I think it's a lot more balanced than being one or the other. I believe we all have both, it is just which we feel more comfortable with and/or choose to bring out.

I think it is the American Indians that celebrate those who do not identify as male or female, but as both. They believe that it means they are wise and know about men and women. I think that's a pretty cool way of thinking about it.