Rant

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I know I like girls and i’m gay but sometimes..Sometimes I wish I wasn’t. I’ve been raised by homophobic people my entire life and its just hard to ignore the teachings that have been beat into my head. I’ve been in relationships with men and I felt nothing so I know i’m not attracted to them but still a part of me says I just have to find the right one even though I have a girlfriend that makes me very happy.

I think that this is called internalised homophobia, where people could even say that they are fine with other people being homosexual but have a different standard for themselves, often from expectations put on themselves earlier in life. I don't think it is super rare, but you just need to accept that being a lesbian is perfectly normal and natural, that you don't need to meet the ideas of what other people think you should be, and the type of happiness you felt from your girlfriend should guide you that you have the right identity.

Have you seen much media that normalises gay people? I was recently really into She-Ra on Netflix recently, which is super gay.