Unexpected change

Post Reply New Topic

To give some background, I label myself a mtf transsexual. I'm pre-op. Been on HRT for two years and two months now. Before I started, I knew that I was sexually attracted to the adult females and that was it. When I started HRT, my initial bloodwork showed a testosterone level lower than the average level for a cis-gender female combined with an estrogen level above the average male. Yet for all outward appearances, I looked male. But that's not what I'm posting about.

Since starting HRT, my sex drive just became non-existent. My mind was still focused on what I was attracted to before which was the female body, but within the last month or so, I got my drive back. I don't know why this is working the way it is. Biology and psychology are not my strong points, and as far as knowledge goes, they're probably my weakest subjects. But regardless of what I don't know, with my drive back, I find myself attracted to more than just the adult female body type, but adult males also, and even with females, I'm attracted to a number of attributes and features beyond the limited range I was before. I don't ever remember being attracted to males before now.

This doesn't really bother me and it seems interesting, but it is weird for me because it was unexpected. I'm not saying this is a choice. Far from it, I didn't choose to change what I was attracted to before and I didn't choose to make myself attracted to anything now. It's just so unexpected that this happened.

I'm sharing this to just get input or ideas from others.

I'd always only been attracted to women before male-to-female HRT. My transgender feelings made me think while growing up that I'd turn out to be gay, but a critical part of being a male homosexual--liking guys--never happened.

Until HRT, that is. I started feeling some attraction to guys a few months after starting HRT. When I am hanging out with my male friends, I often daydream about moving closer and cuddling up to them. I feel like I want them to hold and protect me.

I seem bisexual now. There are certainly famous actors I have the hots for: Michelle Rodriguez and Sandra Bullock for women, and Liam Neeson and George Clooney for men. (A scratchy-faced kiss from those guys would be nice. <3 ). Oh and also for women, whoever played the badass second-in-command villain in Man of Steel.

For women I'm attracted to, I also have long wished I could *be* them. I have long wished I could look like and act like Sandra Bullock's character from the rather bad but nerdy movie The Net. A female hacker nerd. I've spent long nights crying wishing for that.

As a whole, I seem to be visually much more attracted to women, but emotionally to men. Maybe I could be with a more-dominant woman. My sexual fantasies are usually with men now, though, permitting them to have their way with me.

I have no idea how normal or common this is, because Asperger's Syndrome clouds such results.

As for advice, just go with whatever you feel. Nobody controls who they're attracted to.
Hugs

From the experiences I've read, sexual orientation change seems pretty common for all kinds of trans people who go on HRT. I have no idea why it happens and it seems pretty unpredictable. Some people think that it's due to some sort of physical change because of the hormones, and others think that as you become more comfortable with yourself over time you also become more comfortable with your true sexual orientation. I don't know which it is, or if it's something else entirely.

Some surveys of transgender people put the number of bisexuals as the most numerous sexual orientation group, so you are definitely not alone in your new orientation.

In any case, welcome to the bisexual club!