its hard being gay and having aspergers

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Joined: 7 Mar 2014
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 13

25 Mar 2014, 10:49 am

my life has been hard ive been misunderstood im not a great communicator having boyfriends was hard I was diagnosed a couple of years ago. but im getting better. my 20s was difficult. im glad for this site where I can communicate with others like me.

StarCity
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Joined: 5 Sep 2013
Age: 49
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Location: England, UK

27 Mar 2014, 4:47 pm

Hi gardenia_guy,

Im pleased that you have at least had boyfriends in the past. I've never ever had a relationship like that. I'd like one.

_________________
We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
I choose the actor. I observe NT's. I listen to their socializing. I practice it, so in social situations I can just emulate/mimic what is expected.
It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.

gardenia_guy
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Joined: 7 Mar 2014
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 13

28 Mar 2014, 8:55 am

hi star city yeah I need a boyfriend too its hard for me . but theres always hope.

emtyeye
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01 Apr 2014, 6:35 pm

Long before I knew I am AS, I knew about my gender orientation. I say "third sex" (native American term if you don't know it). I am biologically female, but only romantically attracted to females, and feel much more male inside. I never had a problem with this reality about my identity in this way.

When I found out I'm AS also, (late life story), suddenly I became aware of all kinds of prejidicue around me toward me as "gay" that I think my AS had previously caused me to be oblivious to. Now I feel it as a double whammy: I am rejected for both, and now I can see it. And feel it.

Happy part, I don't understand other people or feel comfortable around most of them, and I am more content now being alone, which I like just fine.

GivePeaceAChance
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03 Apr 2014, 6:42 pm

each portion of me presents difficulty - I am far more marginalized for being lesbian (I was thrown out and barred from my family for my orientation) my late in life diagnosis actually helped me figure out why I had trouble relating to people but other than that no that big of a deal.

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?The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society--more briefly, to find your real job, and do it.? - Charlotte Perkins Gilman
"There never was a good war, or a bad peace." - Benjamin Franklin

sleepingfish
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Joined: 20 Feb 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 22
Location: New England - USA

03 Apr 2014, 8:53 pm

The question that I don't seem to be able to answer but am still struggling with: How can you be in a fulfilling relationship when it is so hard to connect?

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