Do people take your gender or sexuality seriously?

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DevilKisses
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25 Dec 2013, 4:37 am

If you are out as an Aspie and LGBT?


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yournamehere
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25 Dec 2013, 9:10 am

gay people think I'm gay... still wondering what's up with that??? I believe if you are born with something, you should use it for its intended purpose. furthermore, I would like to add the fact that for some reason, everyone believes you need to have a sexual preference of somekind, and no preference means both, or something really strange??? why is abstinence not a sexual preference??? do you really need to be one, or the other, or both, or all, or something you need to philosophize about until it makes sence to you??? I know you may tell me that things are normal, and natural, because monkeys are gay, and gender can be changed with a knife, and a pill. the question you need to ask yourself is how can you benifit from the sacrafice of not doing. add the fact that the theory of evolution does not exist with homosexuality. I can make a horrible argument for things. sorry. I will run away from this post. have a merry christmas.



LoveNotHate
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25 Dec 2013, 1:02 pm

DevilKisses wrote:
If you are out as an Aspie and LGBT?


I was diagnosed by my boss, co-workers and a few customers as ASD-trans before I sought help from doctors, so yes.



Raspberry
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02 Jan 2014, 6:33 pm

My mom does not believe asexuality is real. She believes even less in my aromantic-ness, as "All humans want to be with someone eventually".



AdamAutistic
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02 Jan 2014, 8:21 pm

yes. especially the homophobes.


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nuttyengineer
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02 Jan 2014, 8:57 pm

When I came out to my mom as a lesbian, her reaction was tell tell me that "It's just a phase, you'll grow out of it" and to this day tries to get me to tell her if I think a guy is attractive or not, so I would say she didn't take it very seriously.

My friends take it seriously, though, and are even okay with the fact that I'm trans.


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yellowtamarin
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03 Jan 2014, 4:34 am

I don't really know. Gay chicks tend to think I have the "gay" in me, straight people tend to assume I'm straight.



Concept
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03 Jan 2014, 1:38 pm

Those who matter? Most do thankfully. Those who don't, I barely see.



kittylover
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04 Jan 2014, 2:18 am

My parents don't believe that I'm transgender because I didn't show any signs of it growing up. They didn't see any because I hid it from everyone.

My parents, especially my mom, thinks I'm just gay and that I'm merely confused. If I were a gay man, I think I would have felt attraction to men at some point, something she didn't really get. My parents are accepting of gay people, but not transgender people. This isn't a religious issue, because they're both atheist, like me.

My friends pay lip service to me being female, but I don't think they truly see it. They know that I'm severely depressed, but I think they mentally see me as male from their interaction with me.

I feel completely unloved.



musician_enigma
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05 Jan 2014, 10:32 pm

Well, I had to fight to be taken seriously by my mother who continued to try to force heterosexuality on me, after finding out about my sexual orientation (through Facebook). I've never felt the need to make some big proclamation of my homosexuality. It just is what it is.
I am also not stereotypical, so strangers and acquaintances don't know but when I correct the assumption of heterosexuality (which eventually surfaces) their reaction is amusing. :lol:
I really don't care though, never bothered, not afraid, of who knows or any problem someone has with my sexual orientation. Take me seriously, don't take me seriously, makes zero difference.



Concept
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06 Jan 2014, 8:34 am

kittylover wrote:
My friends pay lip service to me being female, but I don't think they truly see it. They know that I'm severely depressed, but I think they mentally see me as male from their interaction with me.

I feel completely unloved.


That sucks. : ( Have you tried reaching to trans support groups in and around where you live?

To be honest, I get the sense that some of my friends and acquaintances do the same thing. For cis-people it's so often they'll only accept your identity if you sound or look right. It can be draining.



MaryXYX
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07 Jan 2014, 9:14 am

I had an interesting experience when I joined a start-up Aspie group in a nearby town. Rather unusually for Aspie groups it was all middle aged women. I waited until most of the way through the first gathering before I outed myself as trans. Aspies tend not to be very observant, but by then they had got to know me as a woman and that's the way it stayed. One event we had was a girly evening practicing makeup and hair styling on one another, and I felt quite at home with it.

One thing that I have only experienced once happened at the end of one pub meeting of that group. Another woman and I went to the ladies room together. She is quite a chatterbox and went on chatting as we sat down in adjacent stalls. Either she had forgotten I'm trans or simply didn't care.



kittylover
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07 Jan 2014, 2:41 pm

Concept wrote:
kittylover wrote:
My friends pay lip service to me being female, but I don't think they truly see it. They know that I'm severely depressed, but I think they mentally see me as male from their interaction with me.

I feel completely unloved.


That sucks. : ( Have you tried reaching to trans support groups in and around where you live?

To be honest, I get the sense that some of my friends and acquaintances do the same thing. For cis-people it's so often they'll only accept your identity if you sound or look right. It can be draining.


It's not their fault - it's biological, not even a cultural issue. A crucial survival skill is recognizing the sex of members of your species, so every sexually-reproducing creature of distinct sexes has evolved hardwired instincts to identify sexes. Humans are no exception to this; part of our brain automatically determines the gender of who we're talking to.

Even with tolerant people, they cannot avoid reacting differently to a transwoman who doesn't pass, because their sex recognition instinct is identifying the transwoman as male. I can tell that I will never be recognized as female by these instincts in others, and can definitely see it in my friends. They react differently to me than to cis women, and it hurts me inside so much.

I've been to support groups but they don't pass, either. They try to help people accept their situation, but that just isn't going to work for me. I don't have the mental strength to do that. Also, if I could accept my fate of never passing, I could probably also accept living as male, too.

Maybe I just think differently than other transwomen; I'm not sure.



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07 Jan 2014, 9:15 pm

I agree. It does appear to be instinctual. It feels with some people that they view it's all a game of dress up



EmoGlambertAspie
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08 Jan 2014, 12:02 pm

I'm afraid to tell my sister I'm a heteronormative polysexual - I like men and some transwomen - because she is a feminist and I'm afraid she'll think I'm "fetishizing" transwomen, which as far as I can tell is feminist for "being sexually attracted to something outside the norm," which means it's bad to feminists. I've seen people with my preferences be called "chasers" before.


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Concept
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08 Jan 2014, 3:31 pm

EmoGlambertAspie wrote:
I'm afraid to tell my sister I'm a heteronormative polysexual - I like men and some transwomen - because she is a feminist and I'm afraid she'll think I'm "fetishizing" transwomen, which as far as I can tell is feminist for "being sexually attracted to something outside the norm," which means it's bad to feminists. I've seen people with my preferences be called "chasers" before.


It's a term people like to twist to fit their narrative. Trans women aren't supposed to be desirable to the cis mainstream because they're 'abnormal' or the 'other'. When certain cis people accuse many of being chasers, they're often doing it under the guise of their own binary be-all sexism.