I have burned my bridge with TLDEF

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When they reneged on our deal where they would provide legal help to obtain SRS in exchange for my name, face, and story, as well as break several promises, I took them publicly to task. In response, TLDEF says they will work with me no longer. They finally sent the grievance letter, but made clear this was it: no more help would be forthcoming.

I have a tendency to engage in conflict with others. I do not expect I can receive legal assistance anywhere else without running into the same conflicts.

Now I get to do more anxious worrying as I wait for the response to my grievance letter.

If the insurance rejects it again, then I think that's it. I have no more options, as I would have no clue what to do, and it would be time for me to mourn.

I would rather mourn than to keep waiting anxiously. Here are the situations for me from most desirable to least desirable:

1.) Getting SRS done and over with finally. 2.) Accepting and mourning that I would never get SRS. 3.) Anxiously, obsessively worrying about whether I would ever get SRS.

I realize I gotta do number 3 to get a chance to get to number 1, but I hope that I am not stuck in number 3 futilely. If I will never get SRS, then let me do number 2 and mourn for the rest of my life.

I am mourning my loss. I looked at the grievance letter. It is long and detailed, and heavily referenced. TLDEF has a good staff attorney working for them.

Now what if this appeal fails, what am I do then? I would have no idea.

I've reached out to TLC and my local ACLU. My local ACLU seems to have some interest in the case, asking for the documentation sent to me regarding my claim--which only includes the vague denial letter, but I sent them the Summary Plan Description, too. When I initially contacted ACLU, I told them I was working with TLDEF and was able to make the first appeal based on their paperwork but that TLDEF would not work with me any further because my case was "too small" (the reason TLDEF gave for reneging on our deal back in late July, early August). I gave a copy of what TLDEF sent to me when they asked for documentation regarding my claim.

Maybe ACLU will be the organization to see me through to victory.