Questioning Gender

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So once again my life is thrown another curve ball. To be fair this ha been in my hi d since I was around 17, 18 but has been especially bad this last year, I'm now 21. I just have always been more feminine, most of the few friendships I had at school have been with girls. I now mostly talk with women online. I recently have started to do some small, things, like paint my nails. But overall I am petrified, I already have enough going on as it is and I worry my feelings on this matter are just me over thinking. Like I'm 21 surely that's too late to be figuring this out, its not like I'm disgusted by my body, but I don't like body hair, deep voices, being called a 'man' and just genrally the expectations of me being a man. I recently decided to consider myself Non-binary, but I don't feel like that's the case. I'm just so confused.

Just do whatever you want. And for me post gender is ignoring all gender even the non-binaries. But even on terms of male or female why do men and women have to be a certain way?

Are you confusing gender with the expectations of becoming an adult? You did say 17, didn't you?

The transition to adulthood is can be very hard for those with childhood developmental disorders like autism, as the support may only be available for children.

If you don't like your body hair there is now a thing called manscaping that you should look into.

I was born male, and I am also disgusted with mine and every male body. As time has worn on I have become more and more displeased with my so called "brothers".
I thought for a little about transitioning, but the political climate has confused even the word "gender"so much, I have just sunk into a pit of misery. The big public debate in general has done nothing but confuse and depress.

Now I just consider myself nothing. Too old for any of that anyhow. It's impossible to find help in this state, psych services in Oregon are pathetic.

But really, "gender" and "sex" have become so confused, they cease to have meaning anymore. And the world is at war with itself over those things.

It's only going to get worse.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/grace-an ... 15476.html
Most are often surprised, or even shocked to hear of someone transitioning gender in their 50s, 60s, 70s or even 80s. What we see is just the tip of the iceberg, not the lifelong internal struggle, or the decades of hiding and denial, or the lying to oneself about an unquestionable personal reality. We must go deep enough to understand, because only then can we have compassion for a transgender person who has been carrying such a heavy burden in isolation for so long.
...by Grace Anne Stevens

Sorry to hear that Pete lives in state with such poor health services. Maybe you could eventually move to a state with better services?

Will the NHS provide counseling to help you sort out your situation? It is very complicated because gender issues and autism issues are usually not in the expertise of mental health professionals. Ideally you would want someone with expertise in both.

Transitioning typically won't help either social issues nor employment issues. Instead, they make these issues worse. But, it might be like taking a painkiller with nasty side effects. You know all about them, but because you are totally non-functional without the painkillers, you gladly accept the risks.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beauty_Myth
You may benefit from reading this popular book. A lot of people have made money by making people uncomfortable with their bodies. Manscaping obviously benefits companies that make razors.

I may add that even when I was growing up, the idea of a man supporting a stay at wife and kids was not supported by statistics. Fewer than 10% of my social studies class had that sort of arrangement in the mid 1970s. Two income families were already the norm in my community.