What do you think about crypto-gays ( the undisclosed ones)

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pawelk1986
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23 Apr 2018, 4:48 pm

In Poland we used to say that someone is kryptogej (crpytogay) is some man is gay yet not disclose this and usually say bad think about homosexuality.

Some people joke around that former prime minister, who now run Poland from behind scene is kryptogej, Jarosław Kaczyński, as in undisclosed homosexual :mrgreen:


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infinitenull
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24 Apr 2018, 4:17 am

I don't think we have an equivalent to the word here but we definitely talk about the type. That is someone who is homophobic because they have homosexual desires and they hate that in themselves and are afraid of anyone who represents it.

What I think about them is pretty easy to express:

They're sad and unfortunate and need to grow up. Our society needs to stop making homosexuality scary for those people so that they can just be honest and live life.


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Trogluddite
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24 Apr 2018, 8:49 am

Many people need to stop making assumptions about people based on behaviour that they don't understand. I know from the rumours that I've heard, and people's reactions when I have been out dating, that many people have assumed that I am homosexual simply because they never saw me with a girlfriend, or because I walk, speak or dance a certain way, or just because I expressed my support for LGBT friends. Many people, of whatever sexual/gender orientation need to learn that their supposed "gaydar" is often just a reflection of their own prejudices about sexuality.


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infinitenull
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24 Apr 2018, 5:18 pm

Trogluddite wrote:
Many people need to stop making assumptions about people based on behaviour that they don't understand. I know from the rumours that I've heard, and people's reactions when I have been out dating, that many people have assumed that I am homosexual simply because they never saw me with a girlfriend, or because I walk, speak or dance a certain way, or just because I expressed my support for LGBT friends. Many people, of whatever sexual/gender orientation need to learn that their supposed "gaydar" is often just a reflection of their own prejudices about sexuality.


Totally valid... I've always wondered what gaydar feels like. Like does it tingle when they think about it?

People shouldn't assume that they know if someone is gay or not, unless that person is trying to exude gayness... in which case it's probably still better for them to come out rather than to assume :) also exuding gayness is often more a combination of participating in sub-culture (which is often appropriated) and sometimes a variant gender expression. People can have a variant gender expression without being gay.


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BAP_Buddy
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05 May 2018, 7:44 pm

pawelk1986 wrote:
In Poland we used to say that someone is kryptogej (crpytogay) is some man is gay yet not disclose this and usually say bad think about homosexuality.

Some people joke around that former prime minister, who now run Poland from behind scene is kryptogej, Jarosław Kaczyński, as in undisclosed homosexual :mrgreen:


Image

http://tropimypis.prv.pl/kaczynski-jaroslaw-pis.html


A good amount of people make the same joke about Putin. :mrgreen:



pawelk1986
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06 May 2018, 6:22 am

BAP_Buddy wrote:
pawelk1986 wrote:
In Poland we used to say that someone is kryptogej (crpytogay) is some man is gay yet not disclose this and usually say bad think about homosexuality.

Some people joke around that former prime minister, who now run Poland from behind scene is kryptogej, Jarosław Kaczyński, as in undisclosed homosexual :mrgreen:


Image

http://tropimypis.prv.pl/kaczynski-jaroslaw-pis.html


A good amount of people make the same joke about Putin. :mrgreen:


I know that :mrgreen:



Skilpadde
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06 May 2018, 6:41 am

My opinion is that skaphomser (as they are called here) - same as aspies - have the right to be undisclosed. No one has the right to know this or that about anyone, and disclosing anything about their private life must be a personal choice.

I'm a very private person myself and I hate this view that seems so prevalent these days that everyone should be poster boys and girls for everything.

What is it with this need to know and speculate about it that some people have and do? (not aimed at you, OP. It's just the general curiosity people seem to have).


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naturalplastic
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06 May 2018, 7:04 am

In the US we say "in the closet", or "out of the closet" for "those who keep it a secret", and those "who go public".

Then, I suppose, you could subdivide the "in the closet" group into those who acknowledge their homosexuality (but keep a secret), and those who are in denial and wont even acknowledge it to themselves. The later group are rather pathetic, but the former group ...they have a right to privacy.



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06 May 2018, 7:18 am

naturalplastic wrote:
In the US we say "in the closet", or "out of the closet" for "those who keep it a secret", and those "who go public".

Then, I suppose, you could subdivide the "in the closet" group into those who acknowledge their homosexuality (but keep a secret), and those who are in denial and wont even acknowledge it to themselves. The later group are rather pathetic, but the former group ...they have a right to privacy.


Oh! I didn't think of this as the entire group of being in the closet... I actually saw it as a sub-group of your latter group... that is people who don't admit to themselves that they're gay, and hate other gay people because of it.

Now that I re-read the OP... you're right... "in the closet" is I think is the equivalent.

My thoughts on people in the closet: They should bring a comfy chair :) and maybe something to read! perhaps a mobile device too... I mean... it should at least be comfortable in there. I've been in and out of various closets throughout my life, you have to figure out how to just be happy with life whether you disclose everything or not.


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21 Sep 2018, 6:19 am

People often have a good reason to be in the closet/on the down low, especially if they live in a country that still has the death penalty and/or prison time for such things.

Whilst I was in Secondary school I spent a great deal of my time in the closet. Mainly because I feared other people's reactions and didn't want to risk losing any of my friends. To make matters worse, sometimes even my teachers would make homophobic remarks. At the time I would notice how there were these almost secret handshakes going on at school. There were subtle ways that gay people would flirt with each other whilst avoiding detection. One time I was in the art room drawing in my book, and this guy came in seemingly looking for something, only to spot this other guy then walk up to him. The guy quickly rolled his sleeve up slightly revealing a rainbow bracelet only to quickly cover it up. He looked around before doing so.

They gave each other a slight nod and the guy who had came in got a few things, and they both left together looking somewhat nervous. I'd hazard a guess they were interested in each other but didn't want anyone else to know.

Although, this secrecy was not at all surprising, it usually didn't end well for those that were out of the closet at school. Either you got beat up, not believed, or publicly shunned. My strategy was to keep up this fake relationship with a gay guy, we both didn't like the idea of people knowing and hoped that by doing this it would help dispel the rumours going around about us.

In the end, our lies blew up in our faces as students started to notice inconsistencies in our stories. Ended up getting outed to a group of people, but the gay guy I had this relationship with got treated much worse. He was thrown into a wall so hard that it left a dint in the wall by the people he thought were his friends and kicked repeatedly. I had a similar experience when I came out to someone and a few others overheard and decided to gag my mouth and hold me down on the playground floor whilst standing with all their pressure on my hands whilst wearing trainers. A few others kicked my legs. The pain was horrible and I wanted to scream but since I was gagged it just came out as muffled noises as small tears fell down my cheeks.

...Yup, I do not miss the nightmare that was my school and certain playgrounds. 8O

At least we both ended up in better places after that. :)


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21 Sep 2018, 8:34 am

In the United States it appears that transgenders are being targeted by psychopaths. There have been about two dozen murdered this year. This is not the sort of thing in which you can trust the reports of the police/authorities to compile accurate statistics. While it may be relatively safe for someone in a upper class neighborhood to come out, the same cannot be said for someone living in many of the large poor cities in the USA.

I know that gays and transgenders are really two very distinct communities. But, they do share very similar fears regarding persecution that depends on the politics of where they live. Which constantly change, and not always for the better. Such persecution is dangerous to those on the spectrum and anyone else that doesn't fit into societal norms. While some autistics can "mask" to appear normal, this isn't always practical or even possible for some of us on the spectrum.