Struggling to speak up when misgendered; any advice?

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I'm trans and just moved to a new city. I'm trying to make a few local friends to play games with. Here's the tough part. While before it was pretty easy for me to present as masculine and I had little trouble. Now I am being misgendered as feminine and I don't know what to do. I don't want to sound pushy or rude, but being called a girl is very distressing. I'm very androgynous in looks and voice, but I think now that I've married another man people assume I'm his wife. He helps stand up for me, but it's still awkward for both of us to navigate. Anyone have good tactics to navigate this in conversation? I want to sound polite and gentle, but I don't know how. I normally don't talk much around people I don't know well.

Why can't you be polite and gentle, and still call yourself male?

"I identify as male"

Keep saying it until they get it

Think of it as just language.

People, for the most part, don't want to misgender you and make you feel bad, but also, people hate being corrected aggressively and it causes them to behave well, a little nasty.

Explain it to them in a neutral way, what you are, what your relationship is and they will adjust themselves, never force because people will push back if forced.

These are just my findings on people, I don't care what someone is sexually, it has no meaning to my life and I'm happy to adjust and call them what they wish, it doesn't hurt me.

I hope this helped, but if not; please blame Raleigh as HE is a total dick.

To be honest... I don't think I speak aggressively, however "I'm a man" or "I'm a he/him/his" doesn't seem to get through to people very well and I don't know why. I also think I have issues being understood because people might think I'm talking about the game we are playing at the time when I'm trying to meet them at game shops and such. I don't really always know how to best clarify myself. I'm also squeamish and timid when outing myself due to a lot of bullying in my life.

I was more replying to those that told you to stand up and get in faces and tell them how it is.


It doesn't work, it never has.

You are going about it the right way, you are just letting it get to you, and you have to find a way to overcome that.

It really doesn't matter what others think or say in reference to you.

You are still you, bugger gender and pronouns and addressing each other in the terms we'd like to be addressed or undressed in.
It's not just about developing a thick skin, it's about changing how you feel about other people and their opinions, I mean, I'll listen to another person's point of view but when it comes to what they think about me then f**k them, it's worthless noise.

You are you, have a fistbump and smile with me.

The problem is that people assign gender automatically without thinking about it, so they don't really have a chance to edit what they say. Sort of like a posting forum that sends stuff instantly as you type it.

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission requires it as of 2012, gender identity


Eeoc only applies when someone is at work


If someone at work refused to call you "he", you could file a lawsuit


Lawyer cost 600 dollar an hour

Lawsuit take two years

Outcome not guaranteed


If you have the time, money, and energy to win a homophobic discrimination lawsuit, please do


But not many people do




Someone outside of work does not have to call you "he"


please call me "he" instead of "she"


If they refuse you can't do jack s**t about it

Just keep on saying you’re a man.....until they get it.

Or say, “I’d appreciate it if you would consider me a man.”

"I'm a guy" and say it in your normal tone of voice. Don't get nasty about it or defensive or people will get defensive right back.

https://www.wikihow.com/Pass-As-a-Male-(For-FTMs)

Maybe this advice for Female to Male Transgenders will give you some ideas on how to look more masculine.