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leiselmum
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12 Nov 2022, 3:55 pm

A decent portion of people on the spectrum are Asexual. Any considerations here? Just curious.

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blitzkrieg
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29 Nov 2022, 8:11 pm

A lot of people group asexuality in with LGBT since asexuality is a lack of any sexuality by default, or at least, different levels of that concept.

That's not to say asexual folk don't or won't have sex - just that asexuals don't feel sexual attraction in the normal way.

Whilst that's not the same as being homosexual, it isn't heterosexual either, since asexuals aren't attracted to opposite sex persons.



naturalplastic
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30 Nov 2022, 5:51 am

Its usually LBGTQ these days.

But yes...it make sense that society at large...should stick an A at the end of it.

And if society at large doesnt do that - you could argue that an autism site should because - supposedly... many autistics are asexual.



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30 Nov 2022, 6:34 am

I've sometimes seen a + sign at the end of LGBTQ. What does that mean? Does it imply other variations not included?


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30 Nov 2022, 2:27 pm

Both the "Q" and the "+" are ways of truncating the acronym. "Q" stands for "queer", which is a catch-all term that can include anyone who isn't heterosexual, cisgender, perisex (not intersex), heteroromantic, and monogamous (not entirely sure of the best way to phrase this, but in the "not polysexual" manner). "+" means "plus", and works the same way, acknowledging that there are more identities than the first four letters can capture.

So asexual issues can absolutely be discussed in the LGBT forum, which is what I suspect this topic is about.



nick007
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11 Jan 2023, 11:57 am

The_Walrus wrote:
Both the "Q" and the "+" are ways of truncating the acronym. "Q" stands for "queer", which is a catch-all term that can include anyone who isn't heterosexual, cisgender, perisex (not intersex), heteroromantic, and monogamous (not entirely sure of the best way to phrase this, but in the "not polysexual" manner). "+" means "plus", and works the same way, acknowledging that there are more identities than the first four letters can capture.

So asexual issues can absolutely be discussed in the LGBT forum, which is what I suspect this topic is about.
Some other sites I've been to said the Q stood for Questioning, like people who were exploring their sexuality & were not sure if they were LGBT or not. I mostly heard Queer used as an insult towards people who were presumably homosexual.


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11 Jan 2023, 12:18 pm

You might find this video interesting. The creator is Aro/Ace. This is her describing the process of working out who she is.



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13 Jan 2023, 8:38 am

Watching that video was culture shock for me.

She said that when she was in 5th grade, everyone in her class was having "crushes" on other classmates???! !

When I was growing up, kids didn't start having "crushes" until high school. And, even then, it was far from inevitable.

Furthermore, in my parents' religious subculture, crushes and "falling in love" were not seen as desirable ways to begin a relationship. Instead, it was thought that a teenager or young adult should have lots of opposite-sex platonic friendships, one of which would eventually evolve into love and marriage.

Although I gave up Christianity at the age of 15, at around which time I also came out as bisexual, I nevertheless retained some aspects of my parents' outlook. In particular, I continued to reject the whole idea of "falling in love," as distinct from a love that grows gradually.


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13 Jan 2023, 9:15 am

I'm from the UK. How old is 5th grade?

I remember kids talking about crushes at 7 years old.



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13 Jan 2023, 10:01 am

Fifth grade (in the US) is mostly composed of 10 and 11 year old children.



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13 Jan 2023, 8:48 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Its usually LBGTQ these days.

But yes...it make sense that society at large...should stick an A at the end of it.

And if society at large doesnt do that - you could argue that an autism site should because - supposedly... many autistics are asexual.


Not quite.

The first four letters are always in the order of LGBT. After the first four letters, it is Q, I and A. The Q for Queer. I stands for Intersex. A for Asexual. There is a common misconception that the A stands for Ally, but this is false. Whilst there are variations, LGBTQIA is fairly agreed upon.

However, it's when we get to what occurs after the A that we start running into most of the arguments. Typically, the plus is added either after the first four letters (LGBT+), after the Q (LGBTQ+) or after the A (LGBTQIA+). All of these are correct. The most common acronym is simply LGBT without a plus, but the plus is implied.

The plus is simply a way of saying etc. Showing that there are other categories that fit into the community that haven't been listed to save time. You don't necessarily need it on there, but you can put it on if you wish.

Queer can be controversial. Originally it was used as an insult but has since been reclaimed.



Now, as we go further down the acronym, you have another Q. This one stands for Questioning. Sometimes this is placed right next to the first Q (which stands for Queer) but it varies. Personally I find two Q's next to each other rather awkward to say. There are multiple A's as well - the first A is always Asexual. Whereas the other two A's stand for Aromantic and Agender. Aromantic and Agender are included under the plus category. Unless you place the plus before the first A, then in which case Asexual falls under the plus umbrella as well - it's really a matter of where you want to make that call.

I typically just stick to saying LGBT because it's a good length and easy to say. Some people think we should switch to GSM (Gender and Sexual Minorities) but I think LGBT is here to stay.


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14 Jan 2023, 9:06 am

^ An excellent explanation, and video. Thanks. :thumright:


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14 Jan 2023, 9:42 am

I used to hear “queer” used in the original sense when I was younger.



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18 Jan 2023, 5:17 pm

There ought to be a word for large age gap relationships too, or for someone who likes older people (like over 10 years older). I'm a consenting 32-year-old in a relationship with a 60-year-old, yes I know I'll get criticism for it here even though we're supposed to accept everything here but large age gap relationships still seem to be OK to judge and ridicule. There needs to be a word like "agesexual" or something, and then "agephobic" for those who don't like it. :P :lol:

Yes, I like older men, OK?


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08 Apr 2023, 5:39 am

Joe90 wrote:
Yes, I like older men, OK?


Strange, not that you like older, but that the community has issues with it, because I thought that was a not an uncommon situation that older company is prefered, no matter in what context.



dustinsdynasty
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05 Jul 2024, 7:39 am

Definitely on the asexual spectrum.

I finally came to terms with this after many years of coming to terms that I am attracted to males, but I find the manner of sex repulsive and something that I personally can't or want to do.

I like many things about men, between the sexual influence and the method of the gay community along with many other personal things, I personally came to terms last month that my sexual identity aligns with being asexual.

I don't like the word Homoromantic, but that's where I technically fall in the asexual spectrum. I have explained this to my closest gay friends and are totally acceptable with how I feel and said that as long as I am ok with it that's all that matters.

In general, since coming out I have stated that I am part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I, as anyone should only share as much as they feel they can do so safely.


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