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Meistersinger
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26 Nov 2013, 1:18 am

Why didn't you refer to Mr. Gorelick by his stage name, Kenny G, the master of musical farting? :twisted:


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auntblabby
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26 Nov 2013, 1:20 am

Meistersinger wrote:
Why didn't you refer to Mr. Gorelick by his stage name, Kenny G, the master of musical farting? :twisted:

fear of offending his fans, I suppose.



Meistersinger
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26 Nov 2013, 1:26 am

Personally, I'd rather listen to Herbie Hancock's Headhunter's album than listen to Anything by Kenny G. Or most smooth jazz artists!


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auntblabby
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26 Nov 2013, 1:30 am

my kinda jass is all acoustic and in the flesh, so to speak. ;)



Meistersinger
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26 Nov 2013, 1:37 am

You won't get an argument out of me on your last statement. I really don't like fusion jazz either, except for Herbie Hancock's Headhunter's album. Besides, Herbie Hacock has pretty much gone back to acoustic piano the past few decades.


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auntblabby
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26 Nov 2013, 1:42 am

about as modern as I get would be Rob McConnell.



RandyG
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26 Nov 2013, 1:57 am

What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?

Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo ...



RandyG
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26 Nov 2013, 1:58 am

How do you know it's a guitarist at your door?

The knocking keeps getting louder and faster ...



octobertiger
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26 Nov 2013, 2:36 pm

How do you know when the drum riser is level?

The drummer's drool comes down straight :P



Meistersinger
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02 Apr 2016, 10:12 pm

Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

A: Because when they were asked who's the greatest musician, they responded "Bach, Bach, Bach!"


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auntblabby
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02 Apr 2016, 10:31 pm



thewrll
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03 Apr 2016, 1:26 am

Meistersinger wrote:
A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."



Love this one.


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auntblabby
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03 Apr 2016, 1:49 am

A brain researcher walks into a butcher's shop and tells the proprietor that he needs some brains for research.
"How much is this one?"
"That one's monkey brain, and it's $20 per ounce."
"How much is that one?"
"That one is whale brain and it's $100 per ounce."
"OK, how much is that package over there?"
"Oh, that's 10 ounces of conductor brain, that goes for $2000."
"$2000?! for only 10 ounces? why so expensive?"
"'Why so expensive?' he asks! Do you realize how many conductors we have to go through to get those 10 ounces?!"



Trogluddite
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03 Apr 2016, 4:23 pm

Why are jokes about drummers so predictable and lame?

So that bass players can understand them, of course.


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auntblabby
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04 Apr 2016, 11:59 pm

winner of the bulwer/lytton bad writing contest-

He was a mediocre conductor of a mediocre orchestra. He had been having problems with the basses; they were the least professional of his musicians. It was the last performance of the season, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, which required extra effort from the basses at the end. Earlier that evening, he found the basses celebrating one of their birthdays by passing a bottle around. As he was about to cue the basses, he knocked over his music stand. The sheet music scattered. As he stood in front of his orchestra, his worst fear was realized; it was the bottom of the 9th, no score and the basses were loaded.