Any other musicians out there tend to play behind the beat?

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I've always had the tendency to drag/stretch beats when playing alone, and play slightly behind other players when playing chamber music. I will feel (and sound in my head) as if I am exactly aligned with the beat, but upon playback, I am a sizeable moment behind. I have to purposely play ahead of the beat by a uniform amount in order to actually align.

I've recently wondered, based on the theory of detail-rich perception in autistics, if maybe this is because I'm hearing more details and this makes time seem slower.

I was just wondering if any other musicians have any thoughts on this, or if anyone else has had a similar experience with the beat.

PS...it's not a lack of technique.

i don't know for sure it's because of handedness issues (i was left handed but forced to write with my right), but i can't keep a regular beat as a drummer. the rhythm accelerates or slows, or syncopates arbitrarily, & this seems to me the real rhythm, not a deviation from it. (i also have trouble hanging pictures level, etc.)

i don't have a good sense of time when it comes to music and that is essential for rhythm. my inner beat is dependent on external factors as well as how i internally process the music. i cannot stay in time on my own.

marching band made it easy as rhythm was simple and fully physical + visual. plus soooo much repetition . foot tapping alone has never done much good for me.

i'm a clarinetist so i have a bit more melodic leeway than players in the rhythmic core and have learned to hone my listening skills towards the percussion and bass to gauge myself. i'm not a natural musician...i have to think hard and work hard and rely on others with a better sense than i have.

as an adult my rhythmic sense is fair, but as a kid it wasn't there.

Very interesting question. A few years ago I was playing in the University Orchestra in the percussion section. (I was a non-traditional student studying Music and Business) There were many occasions where I could not follow the conductor. I would complain about to the other percussionist, but they were all playing just fine. So I recorded a rehearsal and put it up against a metronome and the conductor was dead on. The thing that adds to this is that I have played in Metal bands for the better part of the last 25 years. I have recorded to a click track with no problems, have toured and played countless gigs, all without a timing issue.

If there is some phenomenon that is associated with ASD and the perception of musical time in a linear fashion I would welcome any information that anyone has about it. In the end, I lost many parts due to it and I had to stop participating in the Orchestra. I didn't find out I was autistic until last year...very very interesting!! !! !! !

Thanks and Kind Regards Shark

A really fun and easy way to improve your internal sense of time is to play metronome games. Find something that you can play reasonably well and set the metronome to half the BPM. Next, play the part with the metronome clicking off 2 and 4 (so you need to internalize the click and start on a silent 1). Next, set the metronome to 1/4 the bpm and have it click off full measures (so it would be CLICK 2 3 4, CLICK 2 3 4...etc).

Music has been my main (and pretty much only) obsession for 30 years now (started piano at age 5) and I don't think my sense of timing is connected to my ASD at all. I will mention, however, that timing in popular music is completely different than classical/orchestral and I don't think "feel" is transferable between these two musical worlds and each requires its own deliberate practice.

Adam Neely is an excellent youtube teacher and here are a few links that might be helpful:
1. Metronome games: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6hg8GcLc-4
2. Difference in feel between classical and popular music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEbUNDW9bDA