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Giftorcurse
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20 May 2014, 9:16 pm

I've been busy writing a novel for the past few years. I'm finally making some progress, if you consider forty-five pages out of a projected three hundred to be that. It's kind of a love letter to 80's teen films and horror/thrillers; I even modeled some characters after Brat Pack actors. My title for it is Redesigning Eva. It concerns a depressed high school senior, Eva (modeled after my idol, Molly Ringwald), who volunteers for a shady megacorporation's human enhancement project supervised by her father Holden (Michael Caine), who is desperate to see her be happy again after the death of her mother four years prior. Genetically and physically, Eva is transformed from a hunchbacked, nearsighted borderline-anorexic into a stunning, slender beauty. Unfortunately, her new psychotherapist is a teen prodigy/mad scientist/convicted serial killer by the name of Klaus Krieger (James Spader). Mind games ensue, with a school journalist (Emilio Estevez) and a free-spirited "princess" (Lea Thompson) being dragged into the maelstrom.

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(Instant Dr. Krieger, just add eyepatch.)

Klaus Krieger is one of my favorite creations. For a psychopath, he's surprisingly friendly and well-mannered. He's also incredibly cultured, the kind of guy that would chop someone up with an ax while Pachelbel's Canon in D plays in the background. The root of his pathology is that he views himself as something of a Nietzschean Übermensch, and he's unafraid to show off his intelligence. Interestingly, he's never offensive to Eva in his sessions at his cell. He doesn't hurl insults and obscenities. Instead, he subtly deconstructs Eva's psyche through cutting analysis in an effort to mold her into his "masterpiece". He has this radical idea that he can redesign society into a "New Eden" where his peculiar morals can substitute the ones we are so accustomed to. After all, in his mind, God is the ultimate absentee father. Why follow Him when we can BE Him?


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auntblabby
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20 May 2014, 9:21 pm

I don't have arty genes but that sounds fascinating :)



redrobin62
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20 May 2014, 9:57 pm

I just have one question: how is a convicted serial killer allowed to work as a psychotherapist?



Giftorcurse
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20 May 2014, 10:01 pm

His genius. The corporation would want very much to be rid of him, but it's undeniable: he's brilliant at what he does.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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20 May 2014, 10:05 pm

I like it! :D Do you have a sample I could read somewhere?



Giftorcurse
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20 May 2014, 10:06 pm

Unfortunately, no. I'm kind of hesitant about giving my material out. I was just asking if my premise and villain were interesting.


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auntblabby
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20 May 2014, 10:16 pm

Giftorcurse wrote:
Unfortunately, no. I'm kind of hesitant about giving my material out. I was just asking if my premise and villain were interesting.

maybe test the waters first with a short-story version?



SquidinHostBody
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20 May 2014, 10:55 pm

Have you considered using a small 8 year-old who had an experimental "Brain-Squid" placed into his head, who uses weapons fashioned from turnips? Sounds evil enough. o.O



cathylynn
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20 May 2014, 11:06 pm

fascinating. you're about a sixth of the way there with 45 of 300 pages. that's a big chunk.



auntblabby
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20 May 2014, 11:07 pm

the short story method would make it easier for you to expand it later and would be much simpler to plan.



stardraigh
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21 May 2014, 7:11 am

auntlabby wrote:
the short story method would make it easier for you to expand it later and would be much simpler to plan.

I agree with auntlabby. It doesn't have to be the story condensed, but you could write a small story in the same universe with one or more of the characters and see how they interact.


SquidinHostBody wrote:
Have you considered using a small 8 year-old who had an experimental "Brain-Squid" placed into his head, who uses weapons fashioned from turnips? Sounds evil enough. o.O


Have you by chance read Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain?


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CuddleHug
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21 May 2014, 9:42 am

I love the well mannered psychopaths I find them to be the most interesting of characters for they stand apart from everyone else in the world. In a world of grey they are a vibrant color. The premise sounds interesting and as I said I always enjoy that type of villain but I also agree with Robin it doesn't make much sense that he'd be alive and well considering who he is; brilliant or not it's quite a leap from reality for them to employ him. It also raises a question of how they employ him considering he's a convicted serial killer that type is usually on death row rather than up for private company employment.



Giftorcurse
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21 May 2014, 11:11 am

CuddleHug wrote:
I love the well mannered psychopaths I find them to be the most interesting of characters for they stand apart from everyone else in the world. In a world of grey they are a vibrant color. The premise sounds interesting and as I said I always enjoy that type of villain but I also agree with Robin it doesn't make much sense that he'd be alive and well considering who he is; brilliant or not it's quite a leap from reality for them to employ him. It also raises a question of how they employ him considering he's a convicted serial killer that type is usually on death row rather than up for private company employment.

Klaus was still a minor when he was exposed as a serial killer. Considering that he was born as a result of the Project's first incarnation years ago and proved himself a valuable asset to the corporation as a transhuman prodigy, they have custody over him. He's been legally declared, quite understandably, such an existential threat to people, if not society, that he's been effectively relegated to second-class citizen status.


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Giftorcurse
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21 May 2014, 7:27 pm

SquidinHostBody wrote:
Have you considered using a small 8 year-old who had an experimental "Brain-Squid" placed into his head, who uses weapons fashioned from turnips? Sounds evil enough. o.O

Nope, but there's a talking gorilla security guard.


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Kraichgauer
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21 May 2014, 8:47 pm

Klau Krieger? Whay are the villains always Germans?


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stardraigh
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22 May 2014, 7:39 am

Kraichgauer wrote:
Klau Krieger? Whay are the villains always Germans?


Does this Klaus Krieger happen to an alternate universe version of:

Dr. Krieger from Archer
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TR4ufW_V_o[/youtube]

Dr. Krieger of Farcry
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2AgFecNaks[/youtube]


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