In the Pentagon's Basement

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Ever wonder what the Pentagon (and similar U.S. buildings) are keeping in their basements? You have to wonder... what is in the backlogs and archives of those government buildings?

I have a few possible guesses...

-The gun which killed President Kennedy... the real gun... made out of some alien bio-ceramic alloy...

-A mutant strain of HIV which reanimates the dead...

-The Matrix Sequels... the good edition...

-Autopsy tapes performed on Adolph Hitler... dated 1959...

-A video game cartridge where religious figures fight Mortal Kombat style (Jesus Wu!)

-A gun that fires foreign policy blunders...

-The virus that causes autism... if you've drank a Coca-Cola or Pepsi product since 1981 you're already infeected...

-Manuals for a D20 Roleplaying game in which the players compete to see who can be eaten first by the monsters...

-Drafts of the Unabomber's Manifesto featuring the phrase "All Your Base are Belong to Us"...

-Plans to create an unstoppable killing machine using the DNA of Wilt Chamberlain (project stalled when feminists complained)...

-H.P. Lovecraft's plan for a spaceship powered by competing insanity...

-Nikola Tesla's death ray... which kills people less efficiently than a Lee-Enfield rifle...

-Well written webcomics... thought to be extinct...

-Bush Administration slash fiction (Rumsfeld dimmed the lights while Ashcroft took off his pants. He grabbed his...)

-The part of John Kerry's brain responsible for charisma... preserved in gel by the Viet Cong...

-Osama Bin Laden's corpse... preserved in formaldehyde since 2002...

-Carl Bush... the only virtuous member of the Bush family... locked in a dungeon since 1975...

-Manuals for a roleplaying game called Congressman: The Inefficiency...

-The first draft of the Declaration of Independence featuring the phrase "tea-addicted, lime-sucking nancy boys"...

-An 8-Track recording of the damned, wailing in hell...

-Contract between the Bush Family and Satan... indefinite duration...

-Joseph Stalin's brain... kept alive by blasphemous technology...

-The bodies of all the Vietnamese rebels John Kerry slaughtered...

-Ralph Nader's charisma... stolen using profane sorcery...

-A bayonet covered in the blood of the last unicorn...

-A list detailing plans to economically undermine to Soviet Union...

-Jack The Ripper's knife, apparently designed for a tentacle instead of a hand...

-Old, irrelevant records...

The basement of the pentagon houses mainframes. My grandfather was director of manpower for the navy meaning he had an office in the pentagon. He always went down to the basement in the 1950s with my dad who told me about all the computers, which existed even back in the 50s. In the 50s, however, the computers were weaker than most of the calculators used in the present age and the printers were mechanized typewriters.

the pentagon used to serve as storage for lots of documents and boxes of 'stuff'. That is why the structure was made so sturdy ... especially with the support columns. Then they converted part of it to house the main military operations etc... This is also the reason why it withstood a hit on 911 (due to its being built for storage... the columns shreaded the planes wings easily.)

I didn't even know the pentagon had a basement.

All Your Base Are Belong To Us is that... poorly translated Japanese...

It's in a video game from the early 90s... poorly translated into English...

You were correct...

For anyone who doesn't get it, the full story is here: http://frogstar.com/aybabtu/index.asp

Dunc

I always thought Godzilla and Jesus were in the Pentagon's Basement.

I'm sorry, that was a really bad joke.

Dan's probably trapped in there.

GUNDAMs. The govenrnment has has working modles since 1998. They're saving them for when space is worth taking over.