The Wrong Planet Limerick Thread!

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There was a young aspie named Smith
Whose rhymes had both substance and pith.
They were long, they were tall,
But were thin, after all.
They collapsed for lack of width.

Yea there was a young aspie named Jones,
Whose rhymes all were just skin and bones,
He melded with Smith
and their mind meld made quick
All the thin, bony rhymes they had known.

There's the tale of the hungry guru
Who was fond of cooking up stew
With peppers and spices
(And a few rats and mices)
Plus also, a student or two.

Three lim'ricks rejected
But I'm not dejected
Too slow, too slow!
I know, I know!
For me, it's just what I 'spected

Oh, there was a young aspie named Pye
Was a reject of said guru guy, ^ ^
Some rhymes were of steak,
Beef, chicken, rat, snake -
Yet he lived always the apple of eyes.

A ship's carpenter named Lou
With a figure, and eyes azure blue,
When questioned, salacious,
Replied most audacious.
"I'm sorry, I nail. I don't screw"

And then, there was that duck
Who had a bad piece of luck
When a chicken fell for her,
But this bird did bore her.
She exclaimed,"He's such a dumb cluck."

most of these poems do bore me
from the posters who always ignore me
i wish not to offend
but their start is their end
and they think that their wit is before me.

When inspecting a cute girl's rear end,
It's important. Don't stare or bend.
For, if you're caught out
With the girl's scream and shout
Your position is hard to defend.

A girl once dressed in her best
On her low-cut blouse was a crest
As her bod' I did gaze
Her anger did blaze
"But I looked only at your behest!"

=====

WSmac said to the hospital lacky
"This open-back gown is quite drafty
It's good for a checkup
But for others who just walk up
They'll get an eyeful... by cracky!"

As a skirted young lass happened by
"Oh I stubbed my foot!" I did cry!
As I reached for my toe
A breeze, it did blow
And her rosy red cheeks I did spy!

=====

His massive muscles did flex
Biceps and Triceps and Pecs
The girls were a flutter
But when words he did utter
"One muscle too many's his hex!"

There once was a man named Nutlog
Who f*cked with his neighbour's guard dog
It bit at his knob
Like 'twas corn on the cob
So he roasted the mutt like a hog

There was a young swinger named Paul,
Who swung like an ape up the hall,
One day he swung, strong
He swung far and swung long
And his head made a hole in the wall.

****


There was a li'l lassie named Mary,
Who yodeled like cows in a dairy,
She even ate hay
To keep people at bay
But the cows did not think she was scary.

****

There was a fun fellow named Vance,
Who was always forgetting his pants,
He'd get smacked in the face,
And sprayed on by mace
And most of all, he'd get bitten by ants.

b9, oh b9, oH b9 ! !
I can't believe there is none would take time
To read rhymes here you write,
For the truth is, they're like
All great limericks here one would find!

Stew, for his meal, ate stew
Cricket played cricket it's true
Brawn was quite brawn
John sat on his john
And poor old Blue was blue

Your kudos I hoped I would earn.
My theory was open, yet stern.
But Lecks just debunked it,
And Sand straight up punked it,
I guess there's a lot left to learn.