Easier for women too flirt with men

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kraftiekortie
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15 Apr 2019, 8:55 am

What's wrong with "chasing," anyway? I like to pursue, rather than be pursued.



Fnord
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15 Apr 2019, 8:58 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
What's wrong with "chasing," anyway? I like to pursue, rather than be pursued.
You could get pepper-sprayed, lose your job, get arrested, or even get beat up by her friends and relatives.

Go ahead.

I'll watch.


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kraftiekortie
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15 Apr 2019, 9:01 am

Oh come on...you know what I mean.

You're taking me too literally LOL.

I mean doing it in a much more subtle manner than women do on Sadie Hawkins Day.



kraftiekortie
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15 Apr 2019, 9:05 am

I've flirted with women all my life. I don't go for the "jugular." I might make conversation. I might compliment them. I once wrote poems to ladies on the subway----and it was well-received (though I didn't get any dates).

I've never been pepper-sprayed, etc. because I smiled at somebody. Because women know I can be trusted.

When I said "pursue," I meant doing the things that men have always done in "courtship."



Fnord
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15 Apr 2019, 9:11 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Oh come on... you know what I mean.
Yes, I do. You seem to be "looking at the world through rose-colored glasses". I'm looking at the world through ~50 years of experience and observation.
kraftiekortie wrote:
You're taking me too literally
No, I'm not. I'm applying real-world behavior to indicate the possible responses that a man can expect from attempting to court women in the workplace (or anywhere else).
kraftiekortie wrote:
I mean doing it in a much more subtle manner than women do on Sadie Hawkins Day.
Sadie Hawkins day is the exception -- it is the one day out of the year that (high-school) women can act with as much stupid aggression as men and get away with it.

The real world is not a high school dance, Kortie.


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kraftiekortie
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15 Apr 2019, 9:14 am

I've had 50-plus years of experience myself.

I know when to back off, when necessary.

I was making a personal observation based on my own experience: I'd rather pursue. I feel funny being the one pursued.

I'm very much attuned to the "real world." Though I'm a bit more "glass half full" than "glass half empty."

My advice to most Aspie/Autistic----avoid bars at all costs for the purpose of "picking up" women. They are not conducive to success for us Aspie-Autistics. I tried bars for about a year in my early 20s. I knew it was "no dice" right away. I knew I had better find a more conducive milieu for myself in order to succeed.



Fnord
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15 Apr 2019, 9:23 am

Stay away from bars AND churches (unless you're already a drunk or a religious person).


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rdos
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15 Apr 2019, 2:16 pm

You're just too pessimistic. If you have learnt to interpret interest from your "targets" (you must decide who is your "targets" first), then courtship is not in any way dangerous. It's only dangerous if you overdo it and fail to observe how women react.



RightGalaxy
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15 Apr 2019, 8:54 pm

Jamesy wrote:
why is it easier for women too go up and flirt with random men than vice versa?

Because men are not supposed to be mean to women plus men want sex and maybe here's a chance for it.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Apr 2019, 2:30 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
why is it easier for women too go up and flirt with random men than vice versa?

Because men are not supposed to be mean to women plus men want sex and maybe here's a chance for it.



Are women supposed to act mean to men?



RightGalaxy
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16 Apr 2019, 7:49 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
why is it easier for women too go up and flirt with random men than vice versa?

Because men are not supposed to be mean to women plus men want sex and maybe here's a chance for it.



Are women supposed to act mean to men?

They only act mean when they don't want to be bothered or they're not attracted to who is flirting with them. Men on the other hand like a chance for sex. It doesn't matter if they are not attracted to the woman. Men want to be bothered but in the sexual way. If a woman keeps on flirting with a man and never submits, she gets called a "tease". The only man I ever saw turn a woman down for sex was a gay man. The whole female world flirted with this guy because he was really good looking and nice. He never crossed their boundaries or "reciprocated". He wasn't interested. If these women - no matter how unattractive - flirted with a heterosexual man the way they did with this guy, the hetero would've been really turned on. The gay guy finally came out and that was the end. A lot of tears in the restroom. These women had hopes with this guy. He was a lovely person. The LGBT world can't be ignored. People are out. Not everyone is fair game. People have preferences. Just because we are attracted to a person doesn't mean they are willing or want to reciprocate.



RightGalaxy
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16 Apr 2019, 7:52 am

Fnord wrote:
Because men crave attention from all attractive female strangers, while women have been taught to be wary of all  attractive  male strangers.


The clearest explanation yet! But that is just one of the reasons. Everybody had their reasons. Some are different.



RightGalaxy
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16 Apr 2019, 7:57 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I've had 50-plus years of experience myself.

I know when to back off, when necessary.

I was making a personal observation based on my own experience: I'd rather pursue. I feel funny being the one pursued.

I'm very much attuned to the "real world." Though I'm a bit more "glass half full" than "glass half empty."

My advice to most Aspie/Autistic----avoid bars at all costs for the purpose of "picking up" women. They are not conducive to success for us Aspie-Autistics. I tried bars for about a year in my early 20s. I knew it was "no dice" right away. I knew I had better find a more conducive milieu for myself in order to succeed.



You give really good advice! Bars, clubs, smoking, loud music, scant dress - all bad for those on the spectrum. Now, this just my opinion, the best place to meet for our people is something surrounding your common interest. If you like to read, go to a book event. Go to museum events, art auctions, etc... Bars and nightclubs are all about sex with strangers - anything can happen and it won't be to your advantage. Stay out of them.



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16 Apr 2019, 8:19 am

Go where the people are.

Love is where you find it.


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CockneyRebel
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17 Apr 2019, 10:28 pm

Chummy wrote:
Yeah I agree,

50 years ago if you said something nice to a girl she was flattered.

Now if you were to do that you would potentially face charges for harassment as a male.

That sums it up..


Not in my world. If someone said something nice to me, I would be flattered. It's all part of being a Sweet Pea.


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