Why do almost all 'incels' blame their situation on looks?

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Marknis
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10 Sep 2019, 6:49 pm

I still think Austin would be a better place for me than the Killeen-Temple-Fort Hood area. I could at least pass the time at a gothic music club.



kraftiekortie
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10 Sep 2019, 6:52 pm

It probably would be. Austin is a place where alternative philosophies are tolerated better than most parts of Texas.

I was in Austin once---maybe about 30 years ago. I stayed with a person I used to work with. I really enjoyed it, even though it was over 100 degrees every day I was there.



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10 Sep 2019, 6:54 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Yeah, sorry about that.

Ok, GF 1 at college. Both belonged to the same computer game and design club, and spent 90% of their free time in a game lab on campus, programming and playing computer games.

GF 2 through a summer job, where my son taught computer programming and game design to little kids. Except co-workers can't date so they hadn't even considered dating until after they had spent a year becoming really close friends. And were no longer working at the same summer job.

When my son lived out of the country, he found the game store that hosted Friday Night Magic. He may not have found a GF there, but he did find his people. My son didn't always love the game Magic, but he realized it could connect him in a community, and so he pursued it.

None of these should be that big a stretch to someone interested in video games. But, yes, you will have to stretch a little bit beyond playing video games by yourself in your room.


It’s much easier to meet women at college but I can’t go back to college
Being in college also means likely leading to high paid job so exempt from the requirements to have good job.
Yes colleges have clubs. Real life doesn’t have clubs :(

When I went to college my so focus was college though I did start to actively try online dating last two years but didn’t help.

Women at my work are superficial. They will only date men with gold jobs or in college so they don’t even talk or acknowledge me except a few married older women.

I work nights so any night time activities is out of question especially considering buses even on days I don’t work.
Unfortunately most people work 9-5 so all actives or groups take place after 6pm and most require you have a car since most people own cars since most people have their life together and aren’t disabled.

If your son was like me he’d never found that computer job he’d never traveled. Your sons if very fortunate and lucky.
My situation is way worse then your sons. I can only dream of the life he’s had.

My area sucks for people who don’t have good jobs and own cars.

I don’t have the intelligence to do computer programming like your son.

If I don’t enjoy card games how would people who do be my people? What would talk about my dislike of card games?
Wish we had community center that held groups or classes but we got s gym instead and there such things for kids though.
There’s autistic groups but I can’t afford $250 each time to go to them. So it’s just for rich autistics


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SaveFerris
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10 Sep 2019, 6:58 pm

I rang a restaurant in Oregon quite recently as a prank - true story :twisted:


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Marknis
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10 Sep 2019, 10:35 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It probably would be. Austin is a place where alternative philosophies are tolerated better than most parts of Texas.

I was in Austin once---maybe about 30 years ago.


I’ve seen a Wiccan pentacle on display in a book store there. That is definitely something you don’t really see very often in Texas. My cousin’s girlfriend recommended the Elysium venue for me since they feature goth and industrial music often.

Will you ever go back?

Quote:
Real life doesn’t have clubs


Nope, I have seen plenty of redneck, Christian, gun, anti-LGBT, and Republican clubs in the city I live in. My redneck stepfather is a member of some of them.



kraftiekortie
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10 Sep 2019, 11:06 pm

Sure I’d come back to Austin if given the opportunity.



rdos
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11 Sep 2019, 2:06 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
To date my son has found dates just doing the things he likes to do. Both girlfriends liked the same things he does. Both times he met them while hanging out with groups that were 80% male. He won't let himself be around the type of people you describe. He knows how to find his people.


That sounds more like luck, or that he has high status in those fields.

I went on a very male-dominated university education (electronics), and the few women there had extremely high requirements and so I never bothered with it. There also was this drinking & partying culture that I strongly disliked, and so I stayed out of all of it. College was a lot better since classes with lots of males go at the same place as those with a lot of females, and so you can always find a girl from another class without participating in drinking and going to parties.



SportsGamer35728
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11 Sep 2019, 6:44 am

[/quote]In fact sports and alcohol seem globally universal. I don’t get it.[/quote]
Me either! One of my favorite things to do is going to sporting events, yet I always feel a tad out of place as I'm one of the few adult males there without a beer in their hand :P



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11 Sep 2019, 9:17 am

If you do not drink, do not take drugs at parties, you are unfortunately excluded from society. It is the social exclusion and being different that makes some people outsiders. Socially awkward introverted males remain loners or have a few friends that have introverted personalities. Introverts prefer being alone or with other introverted. Extroverts prefer constant attention and validation from people and enjoy the company of other extroverts. Extroverts avoid introverts.



Marknis
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11 Sep 2019, 11:56 am

SportsGamer35728 wrote:
In fact sports and alcohol seem globally universal. I don’t get it.[/quote]
Me either! One of my favorite things to do is going to sporting events, yet I always feel a tad out of place as I'm one of the few adult males there without a beer in their hand :P[/quote]

Looking back, the sports events my redneck dragged me to were like gay porn shoots. Little to no women, guys shouting “Oh My God!” like they’re having orgasms, and chest bumping as well as slapping each other’s asses. And they say they are straight. :roll:



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11 Sep 2019, 1:43 pm

sly279 wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Yeah, sorry about that.

Ok, GF 1 at college. Both belonged to the same computer game and design club, and spent 90% of their free time in a game lab on campus, programming and playing computer games.

GF 2 through a summer job, where my son taught computer programming and game design to little kids. Except co-workers can't date so they hadn't even considered dating until after they had spent a year becoming really close friends. And were no longer working at the same summer job.

When my son lived out of the country, he found the game store that hosted Friday Night Magic. He may not have found a GF there, but he did find his people. My son didn't always love the game Magic, but he realized it could connect him in a community, and so he pursued it.

None of these should be that big a stretch to someone interested in video games. But, yes, you will have to stretch a little bit beyond playing video games by yourself in your room.


It’s much easier to meet women at college but I can’t go back to college
Being in college also means likely leading to high paid job so exempt from the requirements to have good job.
Yes colleges have clubs. Real life doesn’t have clubs :(

When I went to college my so focus was college though I did start to actively try online dating last two years but didn’t help.

Women at my work are superficial. They will only date men with gold jobs or in college so they don’t even talk or acknowledge me except a few married older women.

I work nights so any night time activities is out of question especially considering buses even on days I don’t work.
Unfortunately most people work 9-5 so all actives or groups take place after 6pm and most require you have a car since most people own cars since most people have their life together and aren’t disabled.

If your son was like me he’d never found that computer job he’d never traveled. Your sons if very fortunate and lucky.
My situation is way worse then your sons. I can only dream of the life he’s had.

My area sucks for people who don’t have good jobs and own cars.

I don’t have the intelligence to do computer programming like your son.

If I don’t enjoy card games how would people who do be my people? What would talk about my dislike of card games?
Wish we had community center that held groups or classes but we got s gym instead and there such things for kids though.
There’s autistic groups but I can’t afford $250 each time to go to them. So it’s just for rich autistics


I realize my son's options aren't your options, but my hope is that you stretch the concept to fit your situation. It sounds like that will take some creative thinking, but I hope you can let yourself be open to it. And maybe you, like Makinis, need to consider really shaking things up and moving to a new area.

I wish I had more targeted suggestions that could help you, but I don't have the ability over the internet to know your unique interests and options well enough. So, hoping you can stretch from what I do know is the best I've got. I know you've faced the same issues and disappointments for a long time, and I feel for you.

I am curious why it costs $250 to meet up with a local autistic group.


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Marknis
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11 Sep 2019, 1:51 pm

My redneck father used dating sites despite being married and has a ton of mistresses. He tends to aim towards women looking for “sugar daddies” or “high status males” and being a doctor makes him come off like those. He would be incel if he wasn’t a doctor.



DW_a_mom
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11 Sep 2019, 1:56 pm

Marknis wrote:
My redneck father used dating sites despite being married and has a ton of mistresses. He tends to aim towards women looking for “sugar daddies” or “high status males” and being a doctor makes him come off like those. He would be incel if he wasn’t a doctor.


He sounds like a jerk. I'm glad I don't know him.

I think you have a valid point that sometimes superficial things can give a jerk opportunities they would not otherwise have had, but they are still jerks and those hook ups can't satisfy the human need for connection for either party. Honestly, hook ups like that hurt everyone involved. Sex alone can't give anyone what they really need. Your father is no doubt just as empty and frustrated as most incels, even if he chooses to hide it behind bravado.


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sly279
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11 Sep 2019, 5:46 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:

I realize my son's options aren't your options, but my hope is that you stretch the concept to fit your situation. It sounds like that will take some creative thinking, but I hope you can let yourself be open to it. And maybe you, like Makinis, need to consider really shaking things up and moving to a new area.

I wish I had more targeted suggestions that could help you, but I don't have the ability over the internet to know your unique interests and options well enough. So, hoping you can stretch from what I do know is the best I've got. I know you've faced the same issues and disappointments for a long time, and I feel for you.

I am curious why it costs $250 to meet up with a local autistic group.


I think your son is more high functioning and talented and benifits from being born to a wealthier family.
I was born into poverty and have no talents at all. I’m not good at anything.

I could explain my interests in pm but there’s not many.

They charge it cause they can. And autistics from wealthy family’s will pay it the poor ones like me get left out. Wonder how many women could afford it anyways so might just be a dating group of guys.
There’s all kids is free groups for kids cause the government funds them but they don’t care about adult austicis.


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Last edited by sly279 on 11 Sep 2019, 6:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SportsGamer35728
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11 Sep 2019, 5:55 pm

Marknis wrote:
Looking back, the sports events my redneck dragged me to were like gay porn shoots. Little to no women, guys shouting “Oh My God!” like they’re having orgasms, and chest bumping as well as slapping each other’s asses. And they say they are straight. :roll:

Which sports were these? The "gay porn shoots" remark makes me picture pro wrestling or mixed martial arts and the chest bumping and ass slapping sounds like American football.