Just avoiding the subject here.

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auntblabby
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13 Jan 2020, 4:30 am

cberg wrote:
@auntblabby: I'm unsure of my factory warranty terms.

well, mee too. when i was made, it was a friday afternoon on the assembly line, and the whistle blew and the assemblers threw me down incomplete into the delivery chute, and said "to hell with it, it's quittin' time!"



Kiprobalhato
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13 Jan 2020, 2:33 pm

auntblabby wrote:
we are the way the creator made us.


the creator is a piece of s**t, i want to strangle him

FUСK "GOD"


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cyberdad
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13 Jan 2020, 4:26 pm

And here was I operating on the basis that mods are the "gods" and "goddesses" of WP discussion boards :lol:



cberg
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13 Jan 2020, 5:21 pm

I'm a pastafarian & I approved this message.

Blasphemy pairs excellently with many fine beers.

If I was created equally why am I always being ignored?


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cberg
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13 Jan 2020, 5:35 pm

I'm horribly sick of western standards determining my every move instead of me & people who love me. We couldn't make any of that work & society encourages us to blame me while ignoring each other.

Autism is basically a death sentence where this shallow social game is concerned.

It's disgusting all around to me.


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14 Jan 2020, 10:11 am

CubsBullsBears wrote:
cberg wrote:
I'm really tired of unwritten rules & other people's expectations getting in the way.
I am too, man.


My husband of 27 years did everything wrong when we were dating and still does. You know what? I love him and will kill anybody that EVER will try to come between us. I was treated so badly by guys and constantly mad fun of but they made sure they had sex with me and took my money and my dignity yet mocking me at the same time. I was SOOOO sub-par but yet they did all that to me. Don't feel so bad when people push you away. It's the ones that don't respect you but stick around for what they can take off of you that will hurt you the worst. The ones that push you away have a conscience. They don't want you but still set you free to be with who wants you. Don't hate them. When I met my husband, he extended me every bit of human respect that he could and has won my heart and my soul forever - if this story almost resembles a "ditched dog" homeless pet rescue story - then so be it. We all have purpose but another person in our lives puts a smile on that purpose.



cberg
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14 Jan 2020, 12:56 pm

I've only ever been ignored. Everyone who did get close to me disappeared & as far as I can tell they never cared.

I'm not saying this to be accusatory. It just feels like all my personal interactions until now were fake. None of it counted where NTs are concerned.


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cberg
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14 Jan 2020, 1:05 pm

There's no feeling whatsoever to being pushed away.

Years of completely pointless numbness. I don't hate people but they sure hate me it seems.


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cberg
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14 Jan 2020, 1:06 pm

I'm isolated enough to find it really disturbing. As far as I can tell most people consider my life a waste.

There's no other imaginable reason I could be this invisible.


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cberg
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14 Jan 2020, 1:42 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
CubsBullsBears wrote:
cberg wrote:
I'm really tired of unwritten rules & other people's expectations getting in the way.
I am too, man.


My husband of 27 years did everything wrong when we were dating and still does. You know what? I love him and will kill anybody that EVER will try to come between us. I was treated so badly by guys and constantly mad fun of but they made sure they had sex with me and took my money and my dignity yet mocking me at the same time. I was SOOOO sub-par but yet they did all that to me. Don't feel so bad when people push you away. It's the ones that don't respect you but stick around for what they can take off of you that will hurt you the worst. The ones that push you away have a conscience. They don't want you but still set you free to be with who wants you. Don't hate them. When I met my husband, he extended me every bit of human respect that he could and has won my heart and my soul forever - if this story almost resembles a "ditched dog" homeless pet rescue story - then so be it. We all have purpose but another person in our lives puts a smile on that purpose.


I know someone like this but she's gone. Nobody cares about some autistic software geek.


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smudge
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14 Jan 2020, 2:09 pm

Can you think why?



cberg
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14 Jan 2020, 2:34 pm

Probably mostly my shyness & reserved mannerisms. I think it's more about what I don't do.


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smudge
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14 Jan 2020, 3:16 pm

cberg wrote:
Probably mostly my shyness & reserved mannerisms. I think it's more about what I don't do.


Personally speaking, I'm afraid of shy and nervous people. They're usually not straightforward with their feelings, expect you to read their mind, and can be very unforgiving people. Men and women. Aspies and NTs.

I can't make an assumption though on how you appear. I know when I've been shy it's made other people awkward around me too. Whenever I believe I don't have a voice, nobody actually hears me. When I do, without a care in the world and with a genuinely happy/positive feeling, they hear me.

It's odd though at the moment, well for the past few years, despite my depression, I've been having conversations easily with NTs, like I'm not remotely the odd one out at all. It's as if losing my mask has made me appear more genuine. I just don't talk about how I feel, talking about depressing things is boring anyway. I also believe my bad memory and lack of being able to overthink things has also made a big difference. I just talk to people mostly without the, "OMG what do I say next??" thinking going on in my head.



cberg
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14 Jan 2020, 3:55 pm

I've been pretty resolute about telling people how I actually feel lately but I don't get the impression anyone really cares. I'm too far into the "spectrum" to have NT emotions for anyone to give a damn about.

I miss everyone but they're probably glad my autistic side isn't around, if not me.


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cberg
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14 Jan 2020, 4:04 pm

Obviously it's taboo for guys like me to have any romantic ideas whatsoever.

I'm doing all I can to stay away from people lately. Everyone's just set on getting rid of me or perhaps they would say otherwise.


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"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen: