Why I just can't unmute myself?

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KittyDik
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16 Apr 2021, 4:06 pm

So I and my boyfriend are together for more than one and a half years and were school besties before that. We shared the most secret sharing and telling everything kind of a relationship. We can basically be two kids being crazy and two grown ups though we are almost 23 each.

That was my description of the history. So the present is that the moment I started thinking that I am getting my way through my anxiety problems I have started facing an issue of not being able to talk to my boyfriend. I go mute on call. I simply give one word reply to his proper numerous msgs and I just say that I am bored. But all I feel is awkwardness or a sort of ego to even say a word or Maybe it's something else. I don't even speak a word without getting irritated when we meet. It's just pretty hard to bring words out of my mouth, keybord and even my eyes. I just cannot look at his face. It's not like I don't feel what I am doing is wrong. But I am trying myself too.

What can I do because I will end up cussing my existence again and get back into the sea of darkness if it continues.



kraftiekortie
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16 Apr 2021, 4:28 pm

Why do you feel irritated with your boyfriend? I hope you're not getting bored with him.



quite an extreme
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16 Apr 2021, 4:29 pm

Calm down. The world is beautiful and you are pretty young. Don't give negative thoughts to much room or they may consume more and more of your mind and make your life a hell. People usually talking about shared interests. Try to talk to him about your fears and plans as long as you want him to stay with you.


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SabbraCadabra
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16 Apr 2021, 11:10 pm

I don't know, that's weird. I don't normally go selectively mute with people who I wasn't mute with before...not unless something significant happened between us.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Apr 2021, 3:58 am

You don’t like him. Break up.


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KittyDik
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17 Apr 2021, 6:19 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You don’t like him. Break up.

No that is definitely not the case.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Apr 2021, 12:37 pm

Then you need a professional help.


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nick007
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17 Apr 2021, 9:06 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Then you need a professional help.
I do think it might potentially be helpful for the OP to seek some help. It's not that uncommon for us autistics to have problems with selective mutism when we're under stress, anxious, or upset about something but this seems like it's kinda a new thing with your boyfriend OP. I'm wondering OP if your going mute when interacting with others besides your boyfriend or if it's just him :?: Have you had problems with mutism before when interacting with others or is the mutism completely new & totally out of the blue :?: Did anything happen around the time you started going mute with your bf like a med change, a medical thing, or something going on in your life(like something going on at work, school, change in living situation, or family stuff) :?: If your getting psych help like meds or counseling I would recommend telling em about this. If you don't see someone like that I would recommend talking to your doc(if you have a regular one) about this or seeking a out a doc if you don't have one. I know seeing docs & psychs can be very difficult rite now due to the pandemic & lots wanting to do telehealth instead of in-person appointments.


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SabbraCadabra
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17 Apr 2021, 10:08 pm

It also might help if you talk to him about it. I've let girlfriends know that I go mute when I'm under stress or incredibly upset, and that it takes a while before I can get the energy back to talk again. They always understand (though my current GF really doesn't like it).


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