Post stupid things that only work in movies

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Sex between two fully clothed people, while not impossible, is certainly pretty tricky. Also, zips

"Top Gun" springs to mind, here.

Also, movies where people get shot and carry on. Bullet wounds are normally pretty messy and they don't stop bleeding after 30 seconds. Sometimes soldiers who've been shot will have an energy burst from the adrenalin which enables short term heroics / survival, but it doesn't last long. And when it fades out it's game over, they won't be going anywhere unless they're being carried on a stretcher after that.

Mhm, I've got to put my hand in your pocket on the bus, then you'll see it's not that hard to come,
to my house and I can cut your pockets too. Will you have my scissors in your pants? Oh look, the glass is condensing. Isn't it such a nice view? Rainy day, huh? Very wet.

Hey, if we're sat above the bus engine then anything's possible.

What I'm talking about, though, is the Hollywood PG films where the lead characters are clearly *supposed* to be having full, penetrative sex but are very clearly fully clothed and not having any "sorry can you move that way a bit, I think something's just cut off my blood supply" issues. So effectively they're either dry humping or very, very lucky at avoiding painful entanglement. Maybe button-fly jeans and crotchless knickers - or going commando - were more on-trend in Hollywood in the late 80s / early 90s than I'd realised? Ironically the whole use of fingers and tongues is verboten as well, which is ridiculously inaccurate in any circumstances but particularly those. Investigating and working one's way around one set of clothing at a time is all part of the fun. But that normally leads to the nakedness bit, no?

As for the windows, apologies, I'll lick them harder.

Last edited by Redd_Kross on 23 Jan 2021, 9:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Michael J Fox's Delorean in Back to the Future.

Things that only work in the movies?

Finding love through writing to each other, when you’re both living your lives 2 years apart!

One of my personal Keanu favourites!

The writer/traveller/explorer Richard Burton wrote about dry humping as way young teens could enjoy each other's company fully clothed in the middle east and north Africa in the 19th century. No chance of pregnancy.

I'm not sure this is his fault, when he excluded both the 20th Century and America from his teachings.

Last edited by Redd_Kross on 23 Jan 2021, 10:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Any and every ex machina driven by magical sci-fi technology or jargon. "Dilithium crystals? Would you like a side order of corbomite with that?"

Anything? Anywhere seems workable but above the engine is for sure my favorite view.



I've known what you meant, it's common in bdsm lore because of the power and choice of the one who is dressed up, the significant divergence between someone nude and someone dressed. But one is usually less dressed, probably takes more off their clothes off. Sometimes not, sometimes yes. Usually they take them off indeed.

Have to start drawing hearts and stuff with your tongue on the windows. Every station a new one. Such an effective window cleaner and artist's best friend, can only imagine what you'd do to my appartment.

There's a common variant where the couple are in bed together, but the blankets are wrapped round them each seperately to hide all the naughty bits that are supposedly in active use. Bonus points if the scene opens on their faces during noisy orgasms, then with no change of shot they're both instantly wearing very neat bedsheet-togas.

The plot from the movie Overboard belongs here. I only seen the original 80s movie & have not seen the remake

A spoiled rich woman hired a carpenter to do some work on her yacht. She got mad at the carpenter for the type of wood he chose to use despite her not specifying the type of wood she required. He said he would redo it with the wood she wanted if she paid him for the work he already did. Instead of paying the carpenter, she threw a tantrum & threw/kicked his toolbox & him in the water. She was married to a guy who was captain of her boat. She fell into the water as he was driving away. She almost drowned & developed amnesia. The captain heard the story on the news & went to get her but after seeing the kinda shape she was in, he decided to leave her there & went parting with other women on his boat. (if I was with that rich b!tch I would be happy to get the hell away from her too) The carpenter hears the story on the news & he's struggling to raise a few boys & is upset at getting screwed over, so he decided to pretend he was her husband so he could have her do household chores & help out with his boys. She helped out with various things & the two of them fell for each other & she cared about the boys. Her mother contacted her husband captain & threatened him & he decided to go get her. Her memory came back when she saw him. As they were leaving in the boat she got upset at the way he was treating the staff & she apologized to them for the way she treated em. She realized she was happier being with the carpenter & turned the boat around. Meanwhile the carpenter & his boys went after her in a Coast Guard boat, his friend was a member of the guard or had some kinda connection to them.

There is a lot more to the story of corse but that's all the gist I feel like typing. Yep this would never happen in real life. Perhaps the remake is more realistic but I have not seen it.

Every movie or sitcom I have ever watched (or near enough every) that involves a love scene where a boy approaches the girl, the boy is always really nervous, makes an idiot of himself by saying the wrong thing, and stutters like crazy - even if the character is supposed to be charming, extroverted and popular.

I don't think all boys are as bad as that at approaching girls in real life, unless they lack confidence or are socially awkward or shy or whatever.

I am that bad at approaching women & I think more than a few others here on the spectrum are as well. That said I don't think a high percentage of NT guys are that bad thou. I've watched various guys do that in real life very smoothly & they ended up with a number or tentative plans. I'm dumbfounded by that A lot of the shows I've seen where the guy has a problem approaching a woman, the guy is very socially awkward. Shows love to have socially awkward guys get the popular girl or the guy ending up with a less popular girl that he was not into at the beginning.
Another thing worth talking about is when there is a show about a family, the dad is an idiot man-child who neglects his wife & his wife does most all the work in the household & their relationship to keep things going. However in real life lots of times when I see NT women online talking about being in a relationship with an Aspie guy, the woman feels like a mom & caretaker to her Aspie & she is extremely frustrated & near her breaking point of ending the relationship or she already ended things & is painting all Aspie guys with the same brush & saying extremely hateful stuff about Aspie guys. Where are the women who love idiot man-child guys A lot of Aspie guys have been looking in vain for them

Who doesn't wanna live in TV land world

If indeed it ever happens that way in real life at all, certainly it doesn't happen anywhere nearly as often as a lot of people seem to expect. After all, when you first meet someone, there's no way you can possibly know enough about that person to know if they are the right person for you.

Two people experiencing hate at first sight end up living happily ever after together.

Stallone's Law: One good guy shooting at 20 bad guy has a better chance of killing them all than the 20 bad guys have of killing the one good guy, even if they fire all at once.

Lucas' Corollary: One rebel in street clothes shooting at 20 Imperial soldiers in combat armor has a better chance of killing them all than the 20 soldiers have of killing the one rebel, even if they fire all at once.

Fnord's Observation #27: Even the most dorky, nerdy, and generally unpopular kids will get invited to parties.