What are your thoughts on Polyamory or Polygamy?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Apr 2021, 9:53 am

magz wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
A christian friend wants to convert to a muslim because he wants to marry a second woman he loved. :lmao:

What does his first wife think about it?


Polygamy isn't socially accepted among Muslim and Christian women alike. Her, being a devout Christian would surely not support it, I doubt even the other woman would accept it too.

I am not sure if the wife knows.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Apr 2021, 9:57 am

In Egypt, the first wife must be informed and grants approval, otherwise the marriage with a second wife is illegal; the cleric would be jailed if he proceeds with a such marriage.



Muse933277
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16 Apr 2021, 10:19 am

Polygamy? I can't even get 1 girl interested in me, more than that would be impossible.



Rexi
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19 Apr 2021, 5:21 am

Gentleman Argentum wrote:
Never mind - found it. :heart:

It was probably in my pants.


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Rexi
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19 Apr 2021, 5:25 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
A christian friend wants to convert to a muslim because he wants to marry a second woman he loved. :lmao:

Oh poor thing, doesn't he know there are plenty christians doing it?

To make it all fair he can just divorce the first. And not marry the 2nd not to upset her lol.

Divorces are the best things. Then both of them can easily leave if they want to. Or him. Either way their initial beliefs and vows aren't valid anymore.


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21 Apr 2021, 1:26 pm

I keep going to post here, but never actually making it. Here's a go...

I've been married around two decades now, & we were young at the start. Around a decade ago we opened up our relationship. It's not always easy, but we love each other & work thru things.

We don't do anything in the poly community really. They're not fond of hierarchical poly, & I don't think it's fair to ask me to put another on an equal pedestal as the man who has supported me for so long. I am also into longer term steady relationships, not sleeping with all the people. (My poly friends understand all this and are supportive.)

The poly people I know tend to take std testing very seriously. Many get tested multiple times a year. In contrast, my mono friends rarely get tested, if ever, & seem to think that's a thing that they don't need even if they're sleeping around. Condom use seems to follow a similar pattern.

It certainly isn't generally easier. I married young & had (a different) steady boyfriend thru out hs. Missing out on dating more people and having gone thru few breakups means there are experiences I haven't had that have hindered communication. Sometimes it's my aspieness that can cause issues; sometimes it's the other person's idiosyncrasies. But in the end, the couple really just have to talk (& listen! omg the listening).



violetdr3amer
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05 May 2021, 3:15 am

It depends. Polyamory works for some people but not others. I have a friend who is poly, she has two partners, she loves them both equally and benefits enormously from the relationships, as her two partners fulfill her different needs. She is a super smart, active woman who needs a lot of stimulation, and she seems much happier now than when she was monogamous. However I've also come across some poly people who just use it as an excuse to sleep around and have their cake and eat it, ie have a partner who is always there for them, but also go round shagging everything that moves.



blitzkrieg
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06 May 2021, 4:30 pm

I think it depends on the people involved. Some people can handle it and some cannot, whether that be the partner, or the person themselves having emotional consequences.

It's something you should think through, and discuss with your partner if you are seriously considering it...



DW_a_mom
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07 May 2021, 7:15 pm

I'm not going to tell people how to live their lives, but I will share my own, anecdotal observation: I have yet to see a polygamous relationship that is as happy for all involved parties as they would like everyone else to believe. These are the people I've met most likely to years later tell a "what on earth was I thinking, I got really hurt" story, or a "I never knew X was having as difficult a time as he(she) later revealed" story. Sometimes our conscious brain is far more open minded and willing to accept out-of-norm situations than our internal emotional brain is, and we construct these falsehoods to convince ourselves all is good, when it isn't. So that is always my caution: people may not be able to thrive in these relationships as well as they want to believe they can.


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cyberdad
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08 May 2021, 7:40 pm

Honestly if people have polygamous/polyamorous relations with other polygamous/polyamorous and/or open minded single people and they don't harm other people in monogamous relationships I don't think we are in a position to judge them or make projections over their happiness/life satisfaction.

If we are building a online community in the spirit of tolerating differences then deconstructing our own biases might be a good place to start.



auntblabby
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09 May 2021, 12:51 pm

i wish i was socially intelligent sufficient to engage in those fun things meself. :nerdy: