How Much Do You Think Looks Matter In Dating?

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How Much Do You Think Looks Matter In Dating?
They're the only thing that matters 7%  7%  [ 2 ]
They matter a lot 32%  32%  [ 9 ]
They matter somewhat 54%  54%  [ 15 ]
They don't matter very much 4%  4%  [ 1 ]
They don't matter at all 4%  4%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 28

amykitten
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09 May 2021, 11:22 am

MaxE wrote:
However I get the impression you don't worry overmuch about your own looks, which may make you part of a minority among women in general.


Yes and no. Like when I mask when outside my house my appearance is also masked. But when I'm home playing video games, drink dr pepper and eating pizza in my pj's/comfy clothes I want my partner to be equally as comfortable on down days too. Besides like most guys I scrub up well when I need too :lol:

Also the question asked what I excluded, which isn't much, but most my partners are over 6'0, glasses wearing guys, with the majority having brown hair. So make of it what you will.



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09 May 2021, 4:40 pm

amykitten wrote:
Also the question asked what I excluded, which isn't much, but most my partners are over 6'0, glasses wearing guys, with the majority having brown hair. So make of it what you will.


Hypothetically would you compromise for Daniel Radcliffe?



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09 May 2021, 5:53 pm

amykitten wrote:

Also the question asked what I excluded, which isn't much, but most my partners are over 6'0, glasses wearing guys, with the majority having brown hair. So make of it what you will.



Which gives evidence to my point that being a 6 ft tall white guy is a huge advantage in dating, at least in the west.

The 6 ft tall white guy syndrome is real.



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09 May 2021, 8:58 pm

I say it matters somewhat, though I think some people get too stuck on that. Like for sure in my head I have created ideas of what an ideal partner would look like, but finding someone with all of those traits is near impossible. So when it came to my boyfriend he did indeed have some of the attractive traits I thought about but not all of them, but I also really liked talking to him and being around him. So kind turned out those attractive traits he did not have weren't really that important.

But yeah I think there has to be some attraction, but I think people are selling themselves short if they are being a stickler on finding someone with all the attractive traits they imagine.


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10 May 2021, 2:59 am

I think it's like an algorithm/shifting scale

If the man looks like a young Brad Pitt then women will throw themselves at him so long as he has enough money to dress adequately and he's not a mass murderer even if he has a s**t personality.

The less attractive he is from the Brad Pitt reference point them i) the more money he needs in his bank account and ii) the more outgoing and female friendly his personality,grooming, dress has to be iii) the higher his social status

Women compromise looks when the man's prospects (money/status) are higher



Last edited by cyberdad on 10 May 2021, 3:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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10 May 2021, 3:07 am

cyberdad wrote:
I think it's like an algorithm/shifting scale

If the man looks like a young Brad Pitt then women will throw themselves at him so long as he has enough money to dress adequately and he's not a mass murderer even if he has a s**t personality.

The less attractive he is from the Brad Pitt reference point them i) the more money he needs in his bank account and ii) the outgoing and female friendly his personality,grooming, dress has to be iii) the higher his social status

Women compromise looks when the man's prospects (money/status) are higher


Well not in my case, I mean I suppose before I met my boyfriend I had already came to find I liked guys who where more chubby than skinny so at the time I met him I probably was not wanting a brad pitt looking dude I was kinda thinking more of a jack black looking guy would be more my type in actuality.

But i mean I am on SSI and my boyfriend makes makes more money but I certainly did not factor in how much money he had or made that the like end all most important thing. I got with him because I really like him and it seemed we could figure out how to stay together and keep our relationship even with some struggles. And we don't even really have friends, we'd both like to make some we were going to try to branch out this past year but then there was covid so kinda got in the way. But yeah I never really thought of his status or money when getting with him..I more just was attracted and like how he is as a person and I guess to me that is more important than whatever status or wealth. I mean if we end up homeless at least we will be together...at least that is how I feel.


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10 May 2021, 3:11 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
I think it's like an algorithm/shifting scale

If the man looks like a young Brad Pitt then women will throw themselves at him so long as he has enough money to dress adequately and he's not a mass murderer even if he has a s**t personality.

The less attractive he is from the Brad Pitt reference point them i) the more money he needs in his bank account and ii) the outgoing and female friendly his personality,grooming, dress has to be iii) the higher his social status

Women compromise looks when the man's prospects (money/status) are higher


Well not in my case, I mean I suppose before I met my boyfriend I had already came to find I liked guys who where more chubby than skinny so at the time I met him I probably was not wanting a brad pitt looking dude I was kinda thinking more of a jack black looking guy would be more my type in actuality.

But i mean I am on SSI and he makes a bit more money but I certainly did not factor in how much money he had or made that the like end all most important thing. I got with him because I really like him and it seemed we could figure out how to stay together and keep our relationship even with some struggles. And we don't even really have friends, we'd both like to make some we were going to try to branch out this past year but then there was covid so kinda got in the way. But yeah I never really thought of his status or money when getting with him..I more just was attracted and like how he is as a person and I guess to me that is more important than whatever status or wealth. I mean if we end up homeless at least we will be together...at least that is how I feel.


Ahh yes thanks Sweetleaf. The algorithm is has an additional covariance of what the girl looks like and her position in life.



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10 May 2021, 3:17 am

cyberdad wrote:
Women compromise looks when the man's prospects (money/status) are higher
And what do men do?
After all, most of the people are, by definition, average-looking - including women.
How do average-status, average-looking people find each other attractive? Because they do - the humanity still exists.


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10 May 2021, 3:37 am

magz wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Women compromise looks when the man's prospects (money/status) are higher
And what do men do?
After all, most of the people are, by definition, average-looking - including women.
How do average-status, average-looking people find each other attractive? Because they do - the humanity still exists.
It seems to me that lots of guys find most women attractive weather the women are average-looking or kinda different looking.


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10 May 2021, 3:44 am

nick007 wrote:
magz wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Women compromise looks when the man's prospects (money/status) are higher
And what do men do?
After all, most of the people are, by definition, average-looking - including women.
How do average-status, average-looking people find each other attractive? Because they do - the humanity still exists.
It seems to me that lots of guys find most women attractive weather the women are average-looking or kinda different looking.


And some guys act like that is the only thing that matters about a woman. I just recall getting severely bullied by like guys in their 20s or older when I tried to post on a metal forum facebook used to have. I just wanted to talk about metal music but some of the insults thrown at me seemed to mostly have to do with I was female and not sexy enough to be considered a person because I guess in the eyes of the trolls that bullied people on that forum only women who are sexy were valid I was just null and void because at 17 these 25 year old + guys did not think I was sexy enough to post there. So I guess at least in my experience, no guys do not think every woman is attractive and sometimes if they see them unattractive they will go out of their way to really make a point of it. Almost like guys like that develop a grudge against you simply because they are not attracted. like 'how dare a person of the female gender does not give me a boner, clearly they are not person and just null and void'.


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10 May 2021, 4:33 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
And some guys act like that is the only thing that matters about a woman. I just recall getting severely bullied by like guys in their 20s or older when I tried to post on a metal forum facebook used to have. I just wanted to talk about metal music but some of the insults thrown at me seemed to mostly have to do with I was female and not sexy enough to be considered a person because I guess in the eyes of the trolls that bullied people on that forum only women who are sexy were valid I was just null and void because at 17 these 25 year old + guys did not think I was sexy enough to post there. So I guess at least in my experience, no guys do not think every woman is attractive and sometimes if they see them unattractive they will go out of their way to really make a point of it. Almost like guys like that develop a grudge against you simply because they are not attracted. like 'how dare a person of the female gender does not give me a boner, clearly they are not person and just null and void'.
Those guys sound like real bullies. It sounds to me like it may of been some kinda game or competition where they're trying to see who can be the biggest a-hole. I'm not sure how you looked back then but I've known a bit of guys who found the rocker metal chick look very attractive. If you didn't have that look, perhaps they were wanting you to since it was a metal forum? IDK :? It's very sh!tty behavior either way.


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10 May 2021, 4:37 am

nick007 wrote:
If you didn't have that look, perhaps they were wanting you to since it was a metal forum? IDK :? It's very sh!tty behavior either way.


How dumb is that. I actually like some metal music but despise hardcore metal fans. They are the utter dregs of society (at least here in Australia).



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10 May 2021, 4:47 am

cyberdad wrote:
nick007 wrote:
If you didn't have that look, perhaps they were wanting you to since it was a metal forum? IDK :? It's very sh!tty behavior either way.


How dumb is that. I actually like some metal music but despise hardcore metal fans. They are the utter dregs of society (at least here in Australia).
I agree it is very messed up. I like a variety of music including metal. Some metal fans are pretty kewl people but others give the metal genra a bad rep.


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10 May 2021, 5:05 am

nick007 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
nick007 wrote:
If you didn't have that look, perhaps they were wanting you to since it was a metal forum? IDK :? It's very sh!tty behavior either way.


How dumb is that. I actually like some metal music but despise hardcore metal fans. They are the utter dregs of society (at least here in Australia).
I agree it is very messed up. I like a variety of music including metal. Some metal fans are pretty kewl people but others give the metal genra a bad rep.


Yeah that's true, I like the art, not so crazy about the artists or their clones



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10 May 2021, 5:17 am

I'm 6ft 4, white and male. I dated a woman for more than one month just once in my life and she became my wife. Am I possibly too tall to reap the rewards of my stereotype? Because obv women should be throwing themselves in heaps before my feet.


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10 May 2021, 5:18 am

I could care less about looks. I think that personality is more important. I'd rather be with a partner who is nice.


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