Is this a prejudice that most men have faced at some point?

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funeralxempire
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28 Jul 2021, 12:50 pm

Jamesy wrote:
ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
What do you mean by “no women his own age will tolerate his crap?”

Just an observation: Some single older ladies pushing 40 tend to get insecure as their looks fade and the men their age are still naturally attracted to 20-somethings over them. That's what they mean by "his crap," that he's still attracted to 20-somethings over women entering middle age. Bitterness toward the aging process.



Recently I was hanging around some women in there early 20s and one of there male friends came up to me and said “leave now before I punch you in the face”. As I walked away he shouted “kiddy fiddler” to me.


I would have offered him the first shot and then began dismantling. :wink:


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IsabellaLinton
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28 Jul 2021, 12:54 pm

Nades wrote:
There are women who look after their bodies who are in their very early 20s and are packing a master's having a very promising life ahead of them and there are women in their 40s who smoke 20 a day never look after their health and have been living off the state their entire adult lives.


And the reverse is true. There are women in my generation with Master's degrees, Doctoral degrees, healthy lifestyles, and healthy careers whereas some 20 year old women smoke, quit school, and live on welfare. The same statements could be said of men at age 40 or 20, in either direction. People are people and we all differ. Please stop generalising.



Nades
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28 Jul 2021, 1:27 pm

Do I really need to clearly state that a post is an analogy for it not to be taken literally?

It was an analogy.........not a generalisation.

Some of the most immature people I've ever met in my life have been the oldest. Some of the most level headed the youngest. For looking for a partner in would much rather someone level headed than a chronological age match.



XFilesGeek
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28 Jul 2021, 1:43 pm

Nades wrote:
Do I really need to clearly state that a post is an analogy for it not to be taken literally?

It was an analogy.........not a generalisation.

Some of the most immature people I've ever met in my life have been the oldest. Some of the most level headed the youngest. For looking for a partner in would much rather someone level headed than a chronological age match.


1. This is an autism forum, so...yes.

2. There's still a huge gap in life experience between 20 and 40. If a 40+ man is dating a 19 year old girl because she's "mature," I still think it's creepy and exploitative.


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Nades
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28 Jul 2021, 2:08 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Nades wrote:
Do I really need to clearly state that a post is an analogy for it not to be taken literally?

It was an analogy.........not a generalisation.

Some of the most immature people I've ever met in my life have been the oldest. Some of the most level headed the youngest. For looking for a partner in would much rather someone level headed than a chronological age match.


1. This is an autism forum, so...yes.

2. There's still a huge gap in life experience between 20 and 40. If a 40+ man is dating a 19 year old girl because she's "mature," I still think it's creepy and exploitative.


Within reason it's creepy yes. I think life experience piles on rapidly after someone leaves their teens though and either stagnates or continues to steamroll onwards. If someone has decided to drink and smoke themselves into an haggard mess while also signing on for state handouts the second they left school then their life experience and maturity is going to be zero regardless of if they're 19 or 80. I would never ask such an individual for practical life advice under any circumstances and I would never get along with them for more than a few hours yet alone as a partner. A far younger person with ambition will very rapidly overtake someone like that in all aspects of their life by their early 20s at the latest.

I suppose it's not a male thing to face prejudice for picking a young but "advance" woman though. I'm sure plenty of older women will also be looked at with a degree of distain if they done the same despite there being little wrong with it so long as the age gap isn't clearly taking the utter p**s.

And yeah. I noticed posts are easily misinterpreted. I suppose it goes hand in hand with the nature of the forum.



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28 Jul 2021, 4:51 pm

^ To be clear, I'm not talking about every single relationship where the man is much older than the woman. Sometimes, those situations legitimately work out.

What I'm mainly referring to is men who make it a point to only pursue women who are much younger than themselves. Heck, on this very website, there have been men complaining that they don't like it when women 10+ years their senior hit on them, but they then persist on going after women over a decade younger than they are.

Most of my female friends who are late teens/early 20s have little interest in men 35+, and find it annoying when these dudes approach them.

And yes, I find it equally creepy when women only go after much younger men.


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cyberdad
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28 Jul 2021, 5:20 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Most of my female friends who are late teens/early 20s have little interest in men 35+, and find it annoying when these dudes approach them.


There are younger women with old fashioned values who would quite happily marry a man 10-15 years older than them. Particularly the case if these girls are from non-western countries.



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28 Jul 2021, 5:30 pm

cyberdad wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Most of my female friends who are late teens/early 20s have little interest in men 35+, and find it annoying when these dudes approach them.


There are younger women with old fashioned values who would quite happily marry a man 10-15 years older than them. Particularly the case if these girls are from non-western countries.


And?

I'm sure there are, but, in my social circles, young women want to date young men, not dudes with beer guts, thinning hair, and glasses.


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funeralxempire
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28 Jul 2021, 7:05 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
I'm sure there are, but, in my social circles, young women want to date young men, not dudes with beer guts, thinning hair, and glasses.


I'm sure even the ones who want to boink older guys don't want beer guts or thinning hair.


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28 Jul 2021, 8:37 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
I'm sure there are, but, in my social circles, young women want to date young men, not dudes with beer guts, thinning hair, and glasses.


I'm sure even the ones who want to boink older guys don't want beer guts or thinning hair.


As it turns out, age catches up with all of us.

The idea that women decay while men age gracefully is false.

Most dudes 35+ don't look anywhere near as good as they did in their 20s, but the media has convinced them otherwise. Look, all I'm saying is, that among my female friends, the ones in their teens/early 20s aren't looking to date men twice their age


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funeralxempire
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28 Jul 2021, 8:46 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
The idea that women decay while men age gracefully is false.

Most dudes 35+ don't look anywhere near as good as they did in their 20s, but the media has convinced them otherwise. Look, all I'm saying is, that among my female friends, the ones in their teens/early 20s aren't looking to date men twice their age


I agree, both sexes can age gracefully or terribly and it wouldn't surprise me if the guys more prone to pursuing younger women are less mature and less prone to taking care of themselves as they age.

But I've also been involved with people who express it as a fetish preference so it's not as though folks who want older partners don't exist (and again, not limited to f/M, F/m, m/M, f/F, etc certainly all exist as well)


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XFilesGeek
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28 Jul 2021, 8:55 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
The idea that women decay while men age gracefully is false.

Most dudes 35+ don't look anywhere near as good as they did in their 20s, but the media has convinced them otherwise. Look, all I'm saying is, that among my female friends, the ones in their teens/early 20s aren't looking to date men twice their age


I agree, both sexes can age gracefully or terribly and it wouldn't surprise me if the guys more prone to pursuing younger women are less mature and less prone to taking care of themselves as they age.

But I've also been involved with people who express it as a fetish preference so it's not as though folks who want older partners don't exist (and again, not limited to f/M, F/m, m/M, f/F, etc certainly all exist as well)


Not saying it doesn't happen.

I'm mainly talking about men who exclusively pursue much younger women.

Speaking about WP, I have no sympathy for dateless guys who complain about women only wanting successful men, or men over 6 feet tall, but then refuse to date women their own age.


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funeralxempire
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28 Jul 2021, 8:56 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Speaking about WP, I have no sympathy for dateless guys who complain about women only wanting successful men, or men over 6 feet tall, but then refuse to date women their own age.


No argument there.


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28 Jul 2021, 10:42 pm

This is well off topic now. The whole point here is the OP wasn't trying to chat anyone up.

Though he was very gullible in being tricked, and then being surprised when he was called out on it. Don't do anything dodgy if you don't want to get a reputation for being dodgy, is my advice on that front.

My impression here is this group were looking for someone to make fun of.

Also worth remembering that an insecure 20-something man looking to protect his pulling status (whether real or imaginary) against older competition, and impress the girls at the same time, could quite easily resort to the aggressive "paedo" allegation as a way of strengthening his own position. It's basic male posturing stuff - makes him look good at your expense. Yes some people really do think like this.

At the same time pulling stunts that could get you arrested and then blaming the drink for your behaviour is definitely a BS move. If you're 30+ it's time to grow up and start taking responsibility for yourself, because 9 times out of 10 alcohol is just a convenient excuse for deliberate misbehaviour, isn't it?



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29 Jul 2021, 2:15 am

XFilesGeek wrote:
^ To be clear, I'm not talking about every single relationship where the man is much older than the woman. Sometimes, those situations legitimately work out.

What I'm mainly referring to is men who make it a point to only pursue women who are much younger than themselves. Heck, on this very website, there have been men complaining that they don't like it when women 10+ years their senior hit on them, but they then persist on going after women over a decade younger than they are.

Most of my female friends who are late teens/early 20s have little interest in men 35+, and find it annoying when these dudes approach them.

And yes, I find it equally creepy when women only go after much younger men.


I think the level of prejudice someone faces for dating another much younger depends on who they are. If a 40 year old is fresh out his mother's basement then yeah, a lot of people think it's creepy and rightly so.

If a 40 year old is some modesty successful business owner who looks after himself then that a lot less so.

I'm much more lenient on guys and women going after younger partners if they themselves are not bums. I think it makes a huge difference.



funeralxempire
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29 Jul 2021, 2:19 am

Nades wrote:

I think the level of prejudice someone faces for dating another much younger depends on who they are. If a 40 year old is fresh out his mother's basement then yeah, a lot of people think it's creepy and rightly so.

If a 40 year old is some modesty successful business owner who looks after himself then that a lot less so.


The former is creepy in a different way than the latter.

The former example might be closer to the younger partner in terms of life experience but is a failure by traditional male standards so he's a creep because he's failed as man just like many men here including me.

The latter example has more experience and more wealth and so can manipulate their partner more, if that's the intention, so it's creepy due to power and life experience imbalance.


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"If you stick a knife in my back 9 inches and pull it out 6 inches, there's no progress. If you pull it all the way out, that's not progress. The progress is healing the wound that the blow made... and they won't even admit the knife is there." Malcolm X
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う