How do you get turned on a by a really goodlooking woman?

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ironpony
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29 Jul 2021, 2:31 am

I was also wondering, before I mentioned how this woman is a 10/10 in looks and absolutely gorgeous. However, she keeps talking about how she's always been told by her family that she was ugly and that she would never get guys. Her family was really bad to her for sure. I tell her I don't think that at all, and that I think she's very pretty, but I also feel careful not to be too complimentary, because a part of me is afraid that if she knew how hot she was, she might leave me, and search for better looking guys.

I like making her feel better about herself, but should I keep the compliments somewhat low on how goodlooking she is, in order so she doesn't think she is in a higher league than me, if that makes sense?



auntblabby
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29 Jul 2021, 2:35 am

ironpony wrote:
I was also wondering, before I mentioned how this woman is a 10/10 in looks and absolutely gorgeous. However, she keeps talking about how she's always been told by her family that she was ugly and that she would never get guys. Her family was really bad to her for sure. I tell her I don't think that at all, and that I think she's very pretty, but I also feel careful not to be too complimentary, because a part of me is afraid that if she knew how hot she was, she might leave me, and search for better looking guys.

I like making her feel better about herself, but should I keep the compliments somewhat low on how goodlooking she is, in order so she doesn't think she is in a higher league than me, if that makes sense?

just love her for real. the rest follows.



cyberdad
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29 Jul 2021, 5:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Your 10 could be my 5 :)

Some people think Julia Roberts is a "10." I disagree. She's all right-looking.

Bo Derek is supposed to be a "10." She even starred in a film called "10." I think she was an 8, at the most, in her prime.

If I had a choice of choosing a "10" who likes Trump, over a "5" who can't stand Trump, I'd pick the "5," any day.


Julia Roberts - a 7 for me
Bo Derek - a 7.5



Sweetleaf
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29 Jul 2021, 8:16 am

ironpony wrote:
I was also wondering, before I mentioned how this woman is a 10/10 in looks and absolutely gorgeous. However, she keeps talking about how she's always been told by her family that she was ugly and that she would never get guys. Her family was really bad to her for sure. I tell her I don't think that at all, and that I think she's very pretty, but I also feel careful not to be too complimentary, because a part of me is afraid that if she knew how hot she was, she might leave me, and search for better looking guys.

I like making her feel better about herself, but should I keep the compliments somewhat low on how goodlooking she is, in order so she doesn't think she is in a higher league than me, if that makes sense?


No, you should not, that just sounds manipulative and dishonest. An attitude like that in my opinion is more likely to make her want to reconsider, than holding back compliments and seems it could be a slippery slope into playing mind games and worst case gas-lighting.

Just be genuine with her, that is probably the best course of action. If she has confidence issues you should be supportive not use that against her to keep her around. If you do that then you wouldn't be much better than her family.


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ironpony
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29 Jul 2021, 11:28 am

Oh no I don't want to manipulate at all, it's just in past experience, women haven't liked it if the guy puts them on a pedestal either though, if that makes sense?



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29 Jul 2021, 11:52 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh no I don't want to manipulate at all, it's just in past experience, women haven't liked it if the guy puts them on a pedestal either though, if that makes sense?


I don't think your intention is to manipulate, but if you were to hold back compliments you feel she deserves in a ploy to keep her confidence lower so she doesn't potentially leave that is what it would be.

You can avoid putting someone on a pedestal without being a damper on their confidence. That is what I mean about being genuine is be yourself and show her who you are, that is the only way she can determine if she wants to stay with you longer term.

You mentioned not having much past to talk about, but surely you have some form of past, you could say its been uneventful but still mention just some basic things like idk where you grew up, what things you've done for a living and stuff like that. And if you have any hobbies or activities you like or movies or shows you've seen that you like those are things you could talk about.


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ironpony
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30 Jul 2021, 1:15 am

Oh okay thanks. I do mention those things, it's just she tells me I leave a lot out and that I am a mystery man she can't seem to get know as much about. So it feels like she is kind of prodding that way.



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31 Jul 2021, 12:48 am

above all, be gently honest with her, always.



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31 Jul 2021, 1:25 am

ironpony wrote:
It seems like an odd illogical question but that is the dilemma I have with this woman I started seeing. I knew for a while now and really like her personality and she asked me out so and we started seeing each other, but even though I love her personality and we are a good match that way it seems, I fail to get aroused by her because she is too goodlooking. She is literally Hollywood, supermodel beautiful and that's the problem for me, sexually. She's too perfect, and I guess she just comes off having a phony supermodel face and body that I just can't relate too.

But my guy friends think I'm crazy I think and feel that I should be really turned on by someone that goodlooking. Can I chance my outlook on it, since I really like her personality, or what do you think?


I dated a supermodel once.
It isn't all that it's cracked up to be. 8)


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And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many pervert its intent.
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auntblabby
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31 Jul 2021, 1:26 am

Pepe wrote:
ironpony wrote:
It seems like an odd illogical question but that is the dilemma I have with this woman I started seeing. I knew for a while now and really like her personality and she asked me out so and we started seeing each other, but even though I love her personality and we are a good match that way it seems, I fail to get aroused by her because she is too goodlooking. She is literally Hollywood, supermodel beautiful and that's the problem for me, sexually. She's too perfect, and I guess she just comes off having a phony supermodel face and body that I just can't relate too.

But my guy friends think I'm crazy I think and feel that I should be really turned on by someone that goodlooking. Can I chance my outlook on it, since I really like her personality, or what do you think?


I dated a supermodel once. It isn't all that it's cracked up to be. 8)

if you don't mind, what was the not "cracked up to be" part?



Pepe
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31 Jul 2021, 1:28 am

ironpony wrote:
Oh well thanks, but I am still trying to get use to it, since normally I do not get turned on by a woman that goodlooking. I still have to see if I can get turned on, arousal wise, by it in general.


If you aren't comfortable with the arrangement, break it off.
Simples. 8)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. There are *4* lights. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


I luv KFC!


Pepe
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31 Jul 2021, 1:39 am

auntblabby wrote:
Pepe wrote:
ironpony wrote:
It seems like an odd illogical question but that is the dilemma I have with this woman I started seeing. I knew for a while now and really like her personality and she asked me out so and we started seeing each other, but even though I love her personality and we are a good match that way it seems, I fail to get aroused by her because she is too goodlooking. She is literally Hollywood, supermodel beautiful and that's the problem for me, sexually. She's too perfect, and I guess she just comes off having a phony supermodel face and body that I just can't relate too.

But my guy friends think I'm crazy I think and feel that I should be really turned on by someone that goodlooking. Can I chance my outlook on it, since I really like her personality, or what do you think?


I dated a supermodel once. It isn't all that it's cracked up to be. 8)

if you don't mind, what was the not "cracked up to be" part?


Well, I have no respect for society's value system, and won't play the game.
I'm smarter than I look, btw. 8)
Someone who is extremely attractive has certain expectations which I wasn't prepared to cater for.

She liked it when I put on a fake masculine voice, as an example.
Very much so.
Image was important to her.
Understandable, when you consider how superficial society is.

I am The Oracle of Truth.
What was I supposed to do?
Reject my vocation? :scratch: :wink:

I wasn't prepared to adopt that sort of fakery.
Besides, she could do much better.
Personal integrity stuff. 8)

She wasn't *really* a supermodel.
Just very attractive.
Out of my league. ;)


_________________
Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. There are *4* lights. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


I luv KFC!


auntblabby
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31 Jul 2021, 1:42 am

pretty people never really attracted me. i could be mesmerized by their beauty but just the same i felt it was always a grand illusion, that there was nothing behind that beauty to back it up.



cyberdad
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31 Jul 2021, 1:56 am

There are nice pretty people out there but society has a habit of corrupting a heart when all their life they get things given to them on a platter with no effort.



auntblabby
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31 Jul 2021, 1:58 am

i would estimate that 90% of the pretty people i've come across, gave the other 10% a bad rep.



cyberdad
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31 Jul 2021, 2:01 am

auntblabby wrote:
i would estimate that 90% of the pretty people i've come across, gave the other 10% a bad rep.


That's about right :lol: