Why Autistic Men Are More Likely To Struggle With Dating

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Yeah...I was pretty much the "overly friendly" type, too.

I struggled with dating----until I put "dating/finding a woman" on the back burner. I never got to be a Casanova or a Don Juan (though I used to be called Don Juan sometimes)----but I was sort of passable if I kept my mouth shut.

the mouth shut thing can either help or hurt depending on what other arrows we got in our respective quivers. i know ben franklin said words to effect of "'tis better to keep silent and as a fool be thought, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." that was beaten into me by my folks and furthermore in the army. that has kept worse things from happening to me.

Both probably have their positives and negatives there when it comes to how it helps one cope with it all.

I went full mistrust, looking for betrayal over anything, fearful of others and feeling that they'll hurt me and similar things which leads to that avoidance and closing doors. Abuse is the worse in what it does to you emotionally and how it affects your interactions with humans. You end up hurting people when you behave like this, and it's the last thing you want; it doesn't really matter what you want either.

I might hold really strong connections to those I've known, shown interest in me, and were all nice people that never would have hurt me in such a way, and I feel I didn't deserve that interest (some I can't think of as they've moved on/I know they have), but I closed those doors regardless and hurt them because of the above. Such is how it goes. I hope they can at least understand the reason, even if it doesn't make it feel any better. I don't really want forgiveness there. I always fear I'm hated for it, which kinda makes me cry when I think this. The aforementioned individual I've been in love with and devoted to for a very long time being one.

It's all just life though. We do what we can with what it decides to give us.

after suicide attempts and lots of passive suicide attempts, and decades of therapy, i have reached a point that i know my heart's in the right place and that i put up the good fight to successfully socialize, and i know i failed and it's useless but no matter, i'm the way god made me, and that i only have a few years left on this earth, to just hold on, heaven will come for me soon enough. i can live with that. the next lifetime will be better.

I've accepted it all, even if it still gets me now and again.

I'm happy that I can still feel love and devotion to someone else. It shows I'm still human. That'll be my peace. I never went to that hateful and angry place like so many go and they feel little positive emotions compared to the negative ones. I've often been numb, empty, but I felt neither good or bad, just nothing, and you don't feel human there.

I'm not going to take the easy route and blame those abusive [and traumatic] things for all of this though, rather they just had a large say. My personality is still human with its positives and negatives like everyone else.

it took me decades, all my life, to finally grok that other humans just aren't wired to grok me. they don't have it in them to get me. the game is rigged by the creator to be like this, it is called karma, i was a bad person in previous lifetimes and this lifetime is meant to correct that at the spiritual level. i learned my lesson. up to god to decide i've had enough this go-round and release me.

Why blame yourself? It's their failing. I never personally felt I was on the wrong planet. As a kid, it seemed to me almost everyone else had it wrong. And I still think that.

psychic ability runs in my family line on my mother's side. i had dreams [after i emotionally prayed to god for answers to why my life was in the crapper] where some heavenly entity showed me exactly where i went wrong in previous lifetimes. i was a cad who used women as a rich blond playboy with a yacht in the late 1800s in europe, and i was a swarthy bullyboy thug in prison in the early 1800s, i saw what i looked like in each lifetime and how i was feeling in each lifetime. i died in prison in the earlier lifetime and i drowned myself in the later one. that was one lifetime before my most recent lifetime which ended about 5 years before this present one. i still have a fear of immersion in water that took me much work to overcome. so i was overdue for a godly spanking. but to be sure for the first 3/4ths of my life i did indeed feel, with much anger, that the whole GD world was WRONG and i was the only one right. i am indeed on the wrong planet but for a reason.

A sad thing: some autistic men actually have college degrees but still will work at a nothing job because they don't know how to dress up or market themselves for employment. Biologically women want to feel safe and protected. An acquaintance who is constantly complaining about being alone posted this on his Facebook: if a woman wants to feel safe, she must learn to use the sword herself. It's true, but can you see why he is always alone? If a woman needs to use a sword around a man, then he's not a man. Why stick around when he just like your other women friends? That's why autistic guys get friend zoned. If a guy wants respect, he has to earn it. If you don't have anything going on for you as far as body, looks , or personality and you make 100,000 per year, you just might be able to win a partner who can stand you for more than just 15 minutes.

The only thing I "might" have is a personality----and I've had women who can stand me for hours!

a pity that everybody has to be so mercenary and that attractive people all know it full well and all hold out for the highest bidder.

I wouldn't categorize myself as "mercenary."

I'm an outsider----and most of my girlfriends have been outsiders, too.

i must not have one o'them there "personalities." oh well, at least i have perfect pitch. that counts for something, no?

Another sad thing:
Men hate women who put very high income as mating requirement and will never view them respectfully, gold digger is the most hated type of women of all time :rollingeyes:…

I don’t make 100k and I still get laid.

because its a sexless relationship, she feels insecure about her body

^^^
what you could do, is make a deal with her, if she agrees to disrobe and you disrobe and you are spontaneously tumescent at the sight of her nekkidness, you would be able to tell her, "you SEE! you ARE attractive, just look at me!" she would not be able to deny her own attractiveness at that point. just a thought.