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CubsBullsBears
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15 Jun 2022, 11:27 pm

June 30th, I will be going to an event that is designed for singles to meet each other. This will be the best opportunity to find someone that I have gotten in my post-high school life. There will also be other events in the coming months, so the 6/30 one won’t be a be-all-end-all situation. We’ll see how it goes for me.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Jun 2022, 6:06 am

I hope it goes well for you.

I hope you get to go to Dairy Queen with her.



nick007
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16 Jun 2022, 8:34 am

I'm not sure what kinda singles event it is but I think Aspies tend to do worse at singles events in general compared to NTs. We generally don't make great 1st impressions, especially in more extroverted type environments. Hopefully there won't be a much higher ratio of guys than women there like there is on dating sites & bars/clubs & such. It's great your trying to take a proactive approach while not getting your hopes super high. There is still a chance you could meet someone or the experience could be helpful down the road. I hope things go well.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Jun 2022, 12:48 pm

I'm sorry.

I meant I hope you get to go to Dairy Queen with whomever you meet.

That's always been my dream: to go to Dairy Queen with a date on a summer's evening.



CubsBullsBears
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16 Jun 2022, 2:52 pm

nick007 wrote:
I'm not sure what kinda singles event it is but I think Aspies tend to do worse at singles events in general compared to NTs. We generally don't make great 1st impressions, especially in more extroverted type environments. Hopefully there won't be a much higher ratio of guys than women there like there is on dating sites & bars/clubs & such. It's great your trying to take a proactive approach while not getting your hopes super high. There is still a chance you could meet someone or the experience could be helpful down the road. I hope things go well.
I will do my darnedest to make that good first impression. I even plan on asking the person running the event how I should dress.

It seems as if I actually have made some good first impressions on females over the years, it’s just that they all eventually see differences in me and that’s why most of my relationships have ended so quickly.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Jun 2022, 3:25 pm

I would say the best way to dress is "summer casual."

Maybe a nice button-down shirt (or polo shirt) and cargo/chino shorts, with the shirt not tucked in. Make sure the lower part of the shirt doesn't go too far down, though.



nick007
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18 Jun 2022, 5:41 am

CubsBullsBears wrote:
I will do my darnedest to make that good first impression. I even plan on asking the person running the event how I should dress.

It seems as if I actually have made some good first impressions on females over the years, it’s just that they all eventually see differences in me and that’s why most of my relationships have ended so quickly.
I could be wrong about this but I wonder if perhaps you were masking very well & when you could not keep the mask up or decided to relax & let it come down some, they realized that you were not the person they thought you were. It's kinda like being in a serious online relationship & then finding out that the person was a catfish. They may not of meant any harm & their feelings might be real but the other person feels they were lied to & cant trust em. I might could of got dates if I tried very hard to mask but I would of only been able to keep up the charade for a very tiny bit. Waaay too many things would have to be explained & then that would be the end of things with that person. But not masking meant I could not even get my foot in the door so to speak & get half a chance with almost everyone. It's a catch 22 situation, we can be [email protected] if we do & [email protected] if we don't. I guess what ultimately worked for me was thinking of ways I could compensate for my problems & issues without fundamentally changing everything about myself & I sought out women who would appreciate that but it was not easy either.


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CubsBullsBears
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27 Jun 2022, 1:13 am

We have reached the week of the event. I’m sitting in bed, thinking about all that could happen, and feeling sad thinking about how I could be walking out of there that night balling my eyes out because something went terribly wrong. Idk what that could be, I just must be naturally emotional about this kinda stuff.


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IsabellaLinton
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27 Jun 2022, 1:28 am

Will you know anyone there?
Is there any sort of common interest or theme for the event?



klanka
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27 Jun 2022, 8:40 am

CubsBullsBears wrote:
We have reached the week of the event. I’m sitting in bed, thinking about all that could happen, and feeling sad thinking about how I could be walking out of there that night balling my eyes out because something went terribly wrong. Idk what that could be, I just must be naturally emotional about this kinda stuff.

Try not to get your expectations too high then you won't be so upset.

I know thats the most pessimissistic advice , but from my experiences thats just how it is for me.

How many of these events are there per year? You might need to go to several before meeting anyone.



rse92
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27 Jun 2022, 12:35 pm

klanka wrote:
CubsBullsBears wrote:
We have reached the week of the event. I’m sitting in bed, thinking about all that could happen, and feeling sad thinking about how I could be walking out of there that night balling my eyes out because something went terribly wrong. Idk what that could be, I just must be naturally emotional about this kinda stuff.

Try not to get your expectations too high then you won't be so upset.

I know thats the most pessimissistic advice , but from my experiences thats just how it is for me.

How many of these events are there per year? You might need to go to several before meeting anyone.


I second this post.



CubsBullsBears
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27 Jun 2022, 12:41 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Will you know anyone there?
Is there any sort of common interest or theme for the event?


1. Not that I’m aware of

2. Sounds like we’ll be playing board games. I hope that I’ll be able to play a game that I’m familiar with. Not that a good, competitive game would guarantee me a match tho. Perhaps I’ll play a really good game of Sorry or Trouble with a female, her and I will have a lot of fun with it and then she’ll tell me “I just want to be friends”.


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CubsBullsBears
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27 Jun 2022, 12:44 pm

klanka wrote:
CubsBullsBears wrote:
We have reached the week of the event. I’m sitting in bed, thinking about all that could happen, and feeling sad thinking about how I could be walking out of there that night balling my eyes out because something went terribly wrong. Idk what that could be, I just must be naturally emotional about this kinda stuff.

Try not to get your expectations too high then you won't be so upset.

I know thats the most pessimissistic advice , but from my experiences thats just how it is for me.

How many of these events are there per year? You might need to go to several before meeting anyone.
I could see a scenario where I feel confident in some way even if I don’t get a match. There’s another event on August 5th and another of sorts in October that I’m aware of.


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CubsBullsBears
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28 Jun 2022, 11:05 pm

They moved the event to november because life is enough of a disaster for that to be able to happen. More info in my thread in the haven.


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CubsBullsBears
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02 Jul 2022, 10:31 am

So, I emailed the event organizer about the age issue that I mentioned in the other thread for the speed dating event on August 5th(it’s shown as for people ages 23-33)and she said that she would make an exception because “you and I have already met”.

So, it looks like I’ll be going to that, but my expectations are lower because at least some of the women there will be a bit out of my age range. But I turn 22 on August 2nd and there might be some 23-25 year olds there. Worth a try, I guess.


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