Guys to overprotective of there girlfriends?

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I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make by referencing television shows.

Honestly, the mental anguish it seems to cause I would say it's not better unless you catch hepatitis or HIV.

Look no further than WP to see the amount of anguish that'll be saved by just getting it over and done with.

Bars might it be a good place for Jamesy to find such women though.

If people are experiencing “mental anguish” because of this, they need to talk to a therapist and/or psychiatrist.

Bars are good places to meet drunk women, but they aren’t ideal places to meet women for a sexual encounter or relationship.

Jamesy does not have a great track record with bars. He would probably have more success in locales that he can manage not getting kicked out of or engaging in immature behavior.

Going to bars has not worked so far. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

I also believe masturbation is much better as a sexual release than having sex just for sex's sake.

The very first thing a new male colleague said to me upon introduction was 'so you like working out then?'.

It made me feel very uncomfortable. And he turned out to be a sleaze (no surprise).

It depends on the context.

There are some guys who would be sleazy about it.

But there are other guys who would have a sincere wish in talking about fitness with a woman.

I, myself, am really not all that interested in fitness. I probably wouldn't say that phrase "So you work out, then?" It's a pickup line.

I mentioned fitness because James is interested in fitness.

It would just be best to avoid this topic. Many of us lack the skills necessary to handle this topic tactfully.

It could, easily, just sound like the guy is interested in her body.

There are many other topics to talk about.

She could share her interest in fitness if she’s asked about her interests and hobbies. Then that specific interest, or any other, could be discussed further.

Yep. Many other topics. I certainly don't go around talking about fitness all the time.

But this guy is into fitness. I don't know what else he is into. When somebody is interested in something harmless like fitness, and somebody else is interested in it, too, it could be a great icebreaker.

As long as he doesn't allude to "how good she looks" and all that, I really don't see anything wrong with talking about something like jogging. If she feels uncomfortable, she can say so. I don't believe James is the type who would react untowardly if told that she doesn't want to discuss it.

It still would be better to ask about personal interests and hobbies and go from there.

That is a safer icebreaker that would work for mist people.

I never denied that......I mentioned "hobbies and interests" as probably the best icebreakers.

But when one goes through the preliminaries, there has to be something else.

Families now....maybe fitness later, if either he or she feels "safe" discussing it.

Or alternatively, just try to look for a sexual encounter so long as it's not with some street walker. A therapist is only needed if someone is having genuine trouble. If an a counter has come along and they refused I would think they're a bit dim to be honest.

I mistyped and said bars might not be a good place for Jamesy too. My bad.

Aren't the people who think it's better to masturbate long term non-virgins too?

I’m not a virgin, but I haven’t had sex in years.

I think that many of us learn, through life experience, that there are worse things than not having sex. Sex is not the end all, be all.

Weighing out the pros and cons, the cons are often more significant than the pros.

If someone is experiencing “mental anguish,” then I would call that “genuine trouble.”

In such a mental state, it would be hard to find someone.

The way I see it, your typical 30 year old has had unprotected sex hundreds, if not 1000+ times with multiple people, both long term and possibly short term.

If a 30 year old virgin is concerned they're gonna die from HIV or pick up some incurable infection from having sex just once then they're overthinking it and possibly a bit dim witted. At that age I'm sure they can safely treat themselves to whatever filthy encounter they like and while still putting themelves in less danger overall than your average, married 30 year old.

Hitting on women who have boyfriends in bars is probably a bad way of doing it (why else would someone hit on women in bars?).

A better way is dating sites (obviously single), clubs (you'll find out eventually) or any speed dating or whatever.

I'm not a virgin----but I feel masturbation is better than having sex with somebody you don't feel a great deal for. Somebody whom you have known a while. That's my feeling.

I used to have "one-night stands." I never felt satisfied after them. The feeling after them wasn't good. I felt sad and depressed. I never got an STD from any woman. I protected myself.

When I was a virgin, I felt like one sexual encounter would "change everything," make me a "man," somehow. My first time wasn't bad----but it didn't change me. I was still a 17-year-old boy. I didn't "grow up" because I had sex. It was pretty anticlimactic.

That's why I believe "the loss of virginity" is not something like finding the Holy Grail.

In my case if I were still a virgin I don't think I would have a very good view of the world, or life.

I would feel left out, like life was passing me by. Frustrated, angry.

You still sought out the one night stands even though they were depressing because I assume on some level they felt good.