Does sex require a bond/connection?

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Summer_Twilight
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18 Aug 2022, 12:17 pm

I am going to go ahead and say yes because you when you have sex you want to have it with someone who you not only trust but feel committed to. It also has to be a two-way street in which both parties feel ready because it's a risky business.



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 4:34 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
I am going to go ahead and say yes because you when you have sex you want to have it with someone who you not only trust but feel committed to. It also has to be a two-way street in which both parties feel ready because it's a risky business.



I don't know why, but percentage of women who agree with me is greater than that of man. Maybe, this is an evolutionary thing or something. But, I am at an extreme point when I am compared with other men.

I have an inclination to connect only one woman and be blind to all other women in the world. This is beyond loyalty. Because I don't need to control my impulses. My logic controls everything I guess. For example, when I learned the harmful effects of cigarette and alcohol, sugar and etc I stopped to use them. And never touched. When I learned why we have to protect the environment, I changed my harmful behaviors. I have almost no exception in my ethic/philosophical beliefs.

Because when I learn something, it affects my understanding, my senses, my lust, everything. I read many books, I guess, my brain changed according to those information.

Not because of books, but also my experiences and my observations of others ease this. I take every good thing that I saw in other people and give up bad ones.

All of these may be because of an inner desire to be perfect ... for being a man who deserves to be loved... because I never felt to be loved by someone. I may be trying to full this void.



goldfish21
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19 Aug 2022, 8:45 am

Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
I am going to go ahead and say yes because you when you have sex you want to have it with someone who you not only trust but feel committed to. It also has to be a two-way street in which both parties feel ready because it's a risky business.



I don't know why, but percentage of women who agree with me is greater than that of man. Maybe, this is an evolutionary thing or something. But, I am at an extreme point when I am compared with other men.

I have an inclination to connect only one woman and be blind to all other women in the world. This is beyond loyalty. Because I don't need to control my impulses. My logic controls everything I guess. For example, when I learned the harmful effects of cigarette and alcohol, sugar and etc I stopped to use them. And never touched. When I learned why we have to protect the environment, I changed my harmful behaviors. I have almost no exception in my ethic/philosophical beliefs.

Because when I learn something, it affects my understanding, my senses, my lust, everything. I read many books, I guess, my brain changed according to those information.

Not because of books, but also my experiences and my observations of others ease this. I take every good thing that I saw in other people and give up bad ones.

All of these may be because of an inner desire to be perfect ... for being a man who deserves to be loved... because I never felt to be loved by someone. I may be trying to full this void.


It's fairly common knowledge that women are attracted to men/aroused via emotional connections more so than physical attraction whereas men are much more about physical attraction to their partners.

Maybe you're just wired that way? Maybe you have higher estrogen and lower testosterone? Who knows for sure - is what it is and ya just gotta roll with it like everyone else has to roll with whatever turns them on or attracts them to others. 8)


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Last edited by goldfish21 on 19 Aug 2022, 9:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 9:01 am

I guess, you are right goldfish21.



kraftiekortie
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19 Aug 2022, 9:06 am

My testosterone is normal (as confirmed by lab results)

I'm not effeminate in any way, shape, or form.

However, I know I must have a great regard for a woman in order to successfully make love to her.



goldfish21
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19 Aug 2022, 9:09 am

Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
I guess, you are right goldfish21.

Thx ? I think. Haha

Besides reading these things, hearing about them being discussed etc, I also have a Lot of personal experience.. mostly with how guys are turned on by the physical and can have sex with zero emotional connection. That's why gay guys tend to have a lot more partners than heterosexuals.


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Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 9:26 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
I guess, you are right goldfish21.

Thx ? I think. Haha

Besides reading these things, hearing about them being discussed etc, I also have a Lot of personal experience.. mostly with how guys are turned on by the physical and can have sex with zero emotional connection. That's why gay guys tend to have a lot more partners than heterosexuals.




That makes sense.



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 9:29 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
My testosterone is normal (as confirmed by lab results)

I'm not effeminate in any way, shape, or form.

However, I know I must have a great regard for a woman in order to successfully make love to her.


This is true for me, as well.



rse92
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19 Aug 2022, 9:44 am

Of course it doesn't.



kraftiekortie
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19 Aug 2022, 10:44 am

It would just be totally weird for me to have sex with someone who is absolutely a total stranger in every way. And I'd be upset if she didn't have any feelings for me as well.

Frankly, I'd rather be masturbating-----because being with someone just for the physical sensation is like masturbation, but with the inconvenience of having to deal with another person.

It's just how I feel.

If others feel differently, I certainly don't mind----especially if they don't seek to harm me.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 19 Aug 2022, 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Summer_Twilight
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19 Aug 2022, 10:55 am

Anyone who has sex with a stranger usually does it for all the wrong reasons

1. When someone is lonely
2. When someone is looking for a temporary sense of relief.

Like said in the adult section about BSDM, I would want to have it with someone who I love and trust and vise versa and I would only want to have it with one person.



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 11:01 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It would just be totally weird for me to have sex with someone who is absolutely a total stranger in every way. And I'd be upset if she didn't have any feelings for me as well.

Frankly, I'd rather be masturbating-----because being with someone just for the physical sensation is like masturbation, but with the inconvenience of having to deal with another person.

It's just how I feel.

If others feel differently, I certainly don't mind----especially if they don't seek to harm me.




But after masturbating, I feel an emptiness. It does not work.



Nades
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19 Aug 2022, 11:03 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Anyone who has sex with a stranger usually does it for all the wrong reasons

1. When someone is lonely
2. When someone is looking for a temporary sense of relief.

Like said in the adult section about BSDM, I would want to have it with someone who I love and trust and vise versa and I would only want to have it with one person.


Being lonely or looking for a sense of relief to alleviate loneliness via sex isn't really bad.



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 11:04 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Anyone who has sex with a stranger usually does it for all the wrong reasons

1. When someone is lonely
2. When someone is looking for a temporary sense of relief.

Like said in the adult section about BSDM, I would want to have it with someone who I love and trust and vise versa and I would only want to have it with one person.



Both are same for me. Need only one and only one who I can love.



Last edited by Carl Friedrich Gauss on 19 Aug 2022, 11:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 11:07 am

Nades wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
Anyone who has sex with a stranger usually does it for all the wrong reasons

1. When someone is lonely
2. When someone is looking for a temporary sense of relief.

Like said in the adult section about BSDM, I would want to have it with someone who I love and trust and vise versa and I would only want to have it with one person.


Being lonely or looking for a sense of relief to alleviate loneliness via sex isn't really bad.



Both of them can not be good at the same time. If loneliness is good, then why alleviate loneliness?



kraftiekortie
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19 Aug 2022, 11:10 am

I can masturbate thinking about a stranger.....but I doubt that I could actually have sex with that person.

There is a feeling of fulfillment, combined with a little bit of frustration. But my physical "needs" are satisfied.