How Do I Not Feel Undesirable?

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The Grand Inquisitor

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Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,747

30 Nov 2022, 8:00 am

It's really sad that it's come to this, and yeah, makes me wish I wasn't alive.

When I was younger, I wanted to have my first sexual experience with a similarly inexperienced partner and explore that uncharted territory with them.

Now, not only is that almost certainly off the table, but the only way for me to get that kind of experience at all is through somebody who is interested in providing a service for money rather than actually being intimate with me? Am I that repulsive and uncompelling?

I should really just kill myself.


Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Nov 2022, 9:18 am

I doubt very much you are “repulsive.”

Many people, frankly, are not all that “compelling.” Being “compelling” is certainly not a prerequisite for finding love.

Many women are not “experienced,” and don’t require an “experienced” man.


Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1933
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,604
Location: wales

30 Nov 2022, 12:39 pm

When you say you want to be accepted on a romantic or sexual level, what's the time period for that? Is even just a quick 30 min fling good enough?

Going to the more "bold" end of the spectrum makes things a lot easier. It's hard not to be accepted from time to time by swingers or people looking to do a gangbang. Most men are time wasters when swingers are looking for guys so 90% of the male competition is gone.

The very easiest sexual encounters I ever had were from swingers. They don't even bother asking you for your name and it can take as little as 30 seconds from first meeting them to full sex.

Some even announce their presence in an area beforehand if you go to certain websites.

It's hardly stable, long term relationship encounters but it's a foot in the door and at least a start. Gives you a flavour for what's out there.