How to find a partner that doesn't want kids?

Post Reply New Topic

My strongest desire in life is to find a life partner with a woman. I've never had an interest in having children and starting a family. Never. Simply have never liked being around kids and don't want the responsibility. I've always known that kind of lifestyle is not for me. Finding a partner is hard enough for most guys on the spectrum, but when you know you don't want children and you factor in the harsh reality that virtually every woman out there wants kids...it becomes basically an impossible pursuit. And I'm 37 and almost every woman I've met on dating apps are already single moms and I'm definitely not interested in raising other people's kids. I've had many people tell me "I'll change my mind" but I'm 37 years old and I've never had the slightest reconsideration and it's really a 100% nonnegotiable for me. Is this relationship suicide for me? Are autistic women more likely to not want to have kids? Should I look for older women who have already had kids who are in their late teens or young adults? I don't really have a problem with being with someone who has kids that are more or less adults by now and don't need to be taken care of. I just don't want to take care of infants and young children.

I go for older men, who's kids are grown up. Usually by then they don't want any more children and you don't have to look after the kids (unless they're disabled or something but then that could be the case with any family member).

My partner is 60 and I'm 32. Trust me, older people aren't as unattractive as society wants you to believe.

But dating an older woman might not be for you, so ignore my suggestion if it isn't suitable.

I have no interest in having children either

(well I mean I DO it's just that I'm scared of pregnancy, C-sections, labor, the "ring of fire" burning sensation when the baby's head is crowning, etc)

That and I already care for my mom so I'm not sure if I am ready or even capable of taking care of a baby!

It's just not for me and IF I ever decide I want a child I would either adopt one or go through a surrogate

Hopefully this isn't a deal-breaker for my boyfriend because I am so close to finding love and my soulmate/life partner...

Have you had a vasectomy?
That would solve the issue quite conclusively.
Then you just tell new partners you can't have kids.

Just be open that you don't want kids, for sure me and my boyfriend established that before getting too serious. I for sure made sure he was cool with not having kids as I did not want any or to ever carry pregnany, and turns out he never want's kids either we just want to enjoy the rest of our adult lives.

I want a baby but I haven't, for the same reasons as you. It's another thing I resent my ASD for. I'm hypersensitive to pain, and I overthink things and cliches like "just bear through it, you'll have a little baby at the end of it" doesn't work on me. My fear of pain and long-term damage that pregnancy can do (like bladder issues) overtakes any suggestions or advice.
There are a lot of complications that can happen during pregnancy and/or childbirth, and I'm amazed at how billions of women aren't put off having a solid being growing in their bodies that will have to come out somehow, whether it's through being cut open or being squeezed out between the legs. Either way is painful and unpleasant and scary.
I can't even have a smear test without almost dying in agony, and I had to go on the pill because I couldn't bear the period cramps.

I envy guys for not having to go through all that.

You are ABSOLUTELY right and I just can't see myself going through all of that!

Childbirth is scary and I refuse to subject myself to it!

Luckily my period cramps are mild and only last a little while

Too bad us women can't reproduce by budding instead of having to go through the agony of labor, the "ring of fire" and C-sections...



EDIT: And I know you can get an epidural to help with the pain of pregnancy but I don't want a big needle being put in my back

(I heard it feels like a bee sting!)

Last edited by Mikurotoro92 on 28 Jan 2023, 9:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wish humans just laid eggs.

I have a feeling that if I did get brave enough to fall pregnant I would have a little boy, and I've already thought of his first name and middle name. It's like I'm grieving for the son I'll never have.

Yeah like chickens

Lol

Maybe in this situation our Autism Spectrum Disorder is a blessing in disguise rather than a curse because it's saving us from having to endure pregnancy and labor!

To keep from becoming pregnant, just have sex without penetration, use a condom or birth control or don't get into a romantic relationship at all (avoid boyfriends/dating and husbands/marriage altogether)

The thing is, I want to experience the spectacle of a wedding as a BRIDE instead of a Flower Girl

Birthing is only the beginning of the pain.

...What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?!?

My current boyfriend is 40 years old and I'm 30

That's dishonest!
The partner would try to adopt, and will feel cheated when you shoot them down.



There's an important difference between "can't" and "refuse to no matter what".

This isn't the first time you have been noted for making abusively selfish statements regarding conduct toward partners.

Last edited by r00tb33r on 29 Jan 2023, 5:02 am, edited 3 times in total.

"Terrible twos..."
"Adolescent terror..."
Costing $250,000 on average until age 18.
Kids putting you in the nursing home.
Kids pulling the plug so they can get the inheritance.

It's not bodily pain though is it.

I’m proud I didn’t have to put my mother in a nursing home at the end. She passed away at home.