If I had planned, would I be a relationship by now ?

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chris1989
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12 Jun 2024, 10:34 am

I seem to think sometimes that some people who are now in relationships, married and have kids are because they probably planned for it. I know this may sound ridiculous and is probably untrue but it's what I seem to wrongly think.

I sometimes also think to myself that if I had planned my future at 18, would I be experiencing these things now like my peers are or not. The thing is at 18, I wasn't entirely sure what to do after leaving sixth form, so I was persuaded to do art and design at college but between college and leaving uni, I began losing interest in art and perhaps originally wanted to become an author or writer and started going back to subjects I was interested in as a child such as history. I'm in the process of writing right now still but still haven't had anything published yet.

I seem to think there were things I wanted to be like I once dreamed about having my own zoo but now realise that its not that simple as I probably have to be a billionaire like John or Damian Aspinall. I even had aspirations to start a band when I was learning bass guitar but I think I was too impatient to learn or not as passionate enough to focus on it as career because I was into other things

I do keep reminding myself of a guy called Steven Bartlett who wrote the book Happy Sexy Millionaire in which he explained how he planned at 18, to become a millionaire, have a girlfriend and so on by 25. He set up his own social media company by that time but explained that some of those expectations he had were unattainable and unrealistic especially in terms achieving success and fulfilment.



DuckHairback
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12 Jun 2024, 10:56 am

You wanted to have your own zoo?


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SpaceMartian
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12 Jun 2024, 11:12 am

Planning and having a direction in life is important, but as it happens, life is a box of surprises. You never ever know what's waiting for you. So no, had you planned you might be the same you are right now, or maybe not, but almost certanly you would not be were you planned to. If you want a relationship, make yoursef available, go on dates... But do not rush it. Don't settle with someone that isn't for you because "better than nothing", that's the biggest mistake many end up doing.
Also planning at 18 is a bit too young, still too inexperienced to know what life is actually like.



chris1989
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12 Jun 2024, 11:22 am

DuckHairback wrote:
You wanted to have your own zoo?


Haha, yes when I was probably in my teens.



DuckHairback
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12 Jun 2024, 1:29 pm

^cool. Would there have been chimps?


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chris1989
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12 Jun 2024, 2:22 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
^cool. Would there have been chimps?


Probably haha



Mikurotoro92
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12 Jun 2024, 7:11 pm

chris1989 wrote:
I seem to think sometimes that some people who are now in relationships, married and have kids are because they probably planned for it. I know this may sound ridiculous and is probably untrue but it's what I seem to wrongly think.

I sometimes also think to myself that if I had planned my future at 18, would I be experiencing these things now like my peers are or not. The thing is at 18, I wasn't entirely sure what to do after leaving sixth form, so I was persuaded to do art and design at college but between college and leaving uni, I began losing interest in art and perhaps originally wanted to become an author or writer and started going back to subjects I was interested in as a child such as history. I'm in the process of writing right now still but still haven't had anything published yet.

I seem to think there were things I wanted to be like I once dreamed about having my own zoo but now realise that its not that simple as I probably have to be a billionaire like John or Damian Aspinall. I even had aspirations to start a band when I was learning bass guitar but I think I was too impatient to learn or not as passionate enough to focus on it as career because I was into other things

I do keep reminding myself of a guy called Steven Bartlett who wrote the book Happy Sexy Millionaire in which he explained how he planned at 18, to become a millionaire, have a girlfriend and so on by 25. He set up his own social media company by that time but explained that some of those expectations he had were unattainable and unrealistic especially in terms achieving success and fulfilment.


No...I think it's more that the stars just aligned for them

It in reality has absolutely NOTHING to do with them planning their life for marriage and children because life is always dynamic and changes

I mean do you think my brother "planned" to go to Disneyland when he was a toddler?

Of course not!

Luck and Pro-activeness are what led him to Disneyland and also what led people to marriage and children!


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SpaceMartian
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13 Jun 2024, 8:21 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
chris1989 wrote:
I seem to think sometimes that some people who are now in relationships, married and have kids are because they probably planned for it. I know this may sound ridiculous and is probably untrue but it's what I seem to wrongly think.

I sometimes also think to myself that if I had planned my future at 18, would I be experiencing these things now like my peers are or not. The thing is at 18, I wasn't entirely sure what to do after leaving sixth form, so I was persuaded to do art and design at college but between college and leaving uni, I began losing interest in art and perhaps originally wanted to become an author or writer and started going back to subjects I was interested in as a child such as history. I'm in the process of writing right now still but still haven't had anything published yet.

I seem to think there were things I wanted to be like I once dreamed about having my own zoo but now realise that its not that simple as I probably have to be a billionaire like John or Damian Aspinall. I even had aspirations to start a band when I was learning bass guitar but I think I was too impatient to learn or not as passionate enough to focus on it as career because I was into other things

I do keep reminding myself of a guy called Steven Bartlett who wrote the book Happy Sexy Millionaire in which he explained how he planned at 18, to become a millionaire, have a girlfriend and so on by 25. He set up his own social media company by that time but explained that some of those expectations he had were unattainable and unrealistic especially in terms achieving success and fulfilment.


No...I think it's more that the stars just aligned for them

It in reality has absolutely NOTHING to do with them planning their life for marriage and children because life is always dynamic and changes

I mean do you think my brother "planned" to go to Disneyland when he was a toddler?

Of course not!

Luck and Pro-activeness are what led him to Disneyland and also what led people to marriage and children!


What's the only constant in the universe? CHANGE

I'd say however that it is impossible that all of those people are in Disneyland, they just appear so, but... How many marriages fail? And of those that don't... How many are disfunctional? So in the end not that many in Disneyland.

Also, everyone is responsible for their own happiness, a partner may help at times but expecting a person to be happy and make you happy is reckless. What a good partner? Bring something to the table and don't expect them to carry you around, that is a bad deal.

In the end, many think that a relationship is gonna make thew happy, get withmanother unhappy sould and... Then comes drama to make it all far worse.



Mikurotoro92
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13 Jun 2024, 7:00 pm

SpaceMartian wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
chris1989 wrote:
I seem to think sometimes that some people who are now in relationships, married and have kids are because they probably planned for it. I know this may sound ridiculous and is probably untrue but it's what I seem to wrongly think.

I sometimes also think to myself that if I had planned my future at 18, would I be experiencing these things now like my peers are or not. The thing is at 18, I wasn't entirely sure what to do after leaving sixth form, so I was persuaded to do art and design at college but between college and leaving uni, I began losing interest in art and perhaps originally wanted to become an author or writer and started going back to subjects I was interested in as a child such as history. I'm in the process of writing right now still but still haven't had anything published yet.

I seem to think there were things I wanted to be like I once dreamed about having my own zoo but now realise that its not that simple as I probably have to be a billionaire like John or Damian Aspinall. I even had aspirations to start a band when I was learning bass guitar but I think I was too impatient to learn or not as passionate enough to focus on it as career because I was into other things

I do keep reminding myself of a guy called Steven Bartlett who wrote the book Happy Sexy Millionaire in which he explained how he planned at 18, to become a millionaire, have a girlfriend and so on by 25. He set up his own social media company by that time but explained that some of those expectations he had were unattainable and unrealistic especially in terms achieving success and fulfilment.


No...I think it's more that the stars just aligned for them

It in reality has absolutely NOTHING to do with them planning their life for marriage and children because life is always dynamic and changes

I mean do you think my brother "planned" to go to Disneyland when he was a toddler?

Of course not!

Luck and Pro-activeness are what led him to Disneyland and also what led people to marriage and children!


What's the only constant in the universe? CHANGE

I'd say however that it is impossible that all of those people are in Disneyland, they just appear so, but... How many marriages fail? And of those that don't... How many are disfunctional? So in the end not that many in Disneyland.

Also, everyone is responsible for their own happiness, a partner may help at times but expecting a person to be happy and make you happy is reckless. What a good partner? Bring something to the table and don't expect them to carry you around, that is a bad deal.

In the end, many think that a relationship is gonna make thew happy, get withmanother unhappy sould and... Then comes drama to make it all far worse.


So "Disneyland" in this context refers to people who are in blissful and fun marriages?


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DuckHairback
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14 Jun 2024, 6:33 am

I want to hear more about the zoo.


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funeralxempire
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14 Jun 2024, 3:32 pm

I had a serious response but now I just want to hear about the zoo.


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14 Jun 2024, 3:45 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
I had a serious response but now I just want to hear about the zoo.

Me too!


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DuckHairback
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14 Jun 2024, 4:26 pm

I was being serious!

I really want to hear about chris1989's zoo.

What animals did you want? So far we have chimps but that's not a zoo, that's just a tea party. What else?

Did you ever do maps of the layout?


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DuckHairback
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15 Jun 2024, 5:30 pm

I don't think he's going to tell us about the zoo :(


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funeralxempire
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15 Jun 2024, 5:58 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
I don't think he's going to tell us about the zoo :(


I miss Zoo Tycoon 2. I could build my own zoo, with blackjack and hookers.


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15 Jun 2024, 5:59 pm

^ It sounds like Las Vegas.


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