If I had planned, would I be a relationship by now ?

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funeralxempire
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15 Jun 2024, 6:04 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
^ It sounds like Las Vegas.


In fact, forget the zoo. :lol:


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DuckHairback
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16 Jun 2024, 4:46 am

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WantToHaveALife
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18 Jun 2024, 10:11 pm

yeah i want to force myself to admit that i will never have a sexual intimate relationship with a woman, because my last relationship was not like that sadly



nick007
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19 Jun 2024, 8:24 am

Some people do coast through life relying on usually good luck, being born into the right envionment, or family or body. However plenty of people have to work very hard to get anywhere in life. Planning can potentially help people succeed & make more practical & productive use out of their hard work. It's important to make sure planning is realistic & individualised for each person & factors in their various circumstances & potential strengths & weaknesses. It's also important to have some flexibility with plans & to reassess & change plans as needed.

Plenty of people do get long term relationshop partners without a lot of effort but there's also plenty of people who struggle more & have to work harder to get partners. Unfortunately us Aspies are more likely to be the latter compared to our NT peers. I did get my first girlfriend kinda by luck or random chance but I bet I would not of gotten another relationship since if I had not been majorly trying to get one. My effort did seem kinda wasted for a long time but it eventually led to me getying my 2nd & then my 3rd girlfriend. It is luck that they happened to read my posts but I would not of made those posts if I had not bern majorly trying. I also had to work on myself & my mental health a lot to be able to make my current relationship last. I would not have done some of that work while single if I was not majorly trying to get a life partner.


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DuckHairback
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19 Jun 2024, 8:35 am

I think if I had a zoo, i'd want some wolves, some rhinos and some zebras. But it'd have to be a safari park style zoo, not cages.


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Mikurotoro92
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19 Jun 2024, 10:46 am

nick007 wrote:
Some people do coast through life relying on usually good luck, being born into the right envionment, or family or body. However plenty of people have to work very hard to get anywhere in life. Planning can potentially help people succeed & make more practical & productive use out of their hard work. It's important to make sure planning is realistic & individualised for each person & factors in their various circumstances & potential strengths & weaknesses. It's also important to have some flexibility with plans & to reassess & change plans as needed.

Plenty of people do get long term relationshop partners without a lot of effort but there's also plenty of people who struggle more & have to work harder to get partners. Unfortunately us Aspies are more likely to be the latter compared to our NT peers. I did get my first girlfriend kinda by luck or random chance but I bet I would not of gotten another relationship since if I had not been majorly trying to get one. My effort did seem kinda wasted for a long time but it eventually led to me getying my 2nd & then my 3rd girlfriend. It is luck that they happened to read my posts but I would not of made those posts if I had not bern majorly trying. I also had to work on myself & my mental health a lot to be able to make my current relationship last. I would not have done some of that work while single if I was not majorly trying to get a life partner.


Yep

My neighbor Anita and her husband Phil fit what you said about plenty of people can get romantic partners without much effort!

I swear their love story was handed to them on a golden spoon

They met as kids then had a chance encounter as adults at a barbeque then started dating and got married

Anita even admitted to me that the way she met Phil was NOT typical for most people

Meanwhile, I have had to work hard to get to this point and get to where I am now!! !

So much trial & error in finding a partner

It was my decision to start attending Day Program that reversed and changed course for me because that led me to David!


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