What's your general relationship lifespan?

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Brundisium
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17 Apr 2007, 2:51 am

It used to be three months for me.

It was weird and like clockwork.

Then somehow it doubled and hit six months.

And then my last relationship lasted about a year, so I think I'm getting better at the whole thing, although it always ends for the same reason: They can't handle my quirks (meaning how much time alone I need, how random the need to stay home and not go out for the weekend can be, how easily I seem to miss some things that should be obvious [keeping in mind that I was undiagnosed until recently], being nervous [understatement] about meeting their friends, etc.)

Is it just me or is it an Aspie thing?

The lifespan thing I mean.


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Tim_Tex
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17 Apr 2007, 2:52 am

My first relationship lasted 2 years, and my second relationship lasted 3 1/2 years.

Tim


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calandale
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17 Apr 2007, 2:54 am

Been in three real relationships. Two were for three years or so, one for twelve.
Had a fling that only lasted a couple of months, but it's not like it was expected
to go anywhere. Had a couple of very close friendships which were damned close
to affairs, each of which lasted a few years - but they don't really count, as the
sexual tension was never relieved.



Belle77
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17 Apr 2007, 3:02 am

I used to always tend to stay with people much longer than I should have. Somehow they'd deal with my quirks but it wasn't a good relationship. It was never easy for me to get into a relationship and I've always had a big fear of being alone, I guess. So I'd stay as long as I could.



ramsamsam
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17 Apr 2007, 3:04 am

My relationships tend to last about 3 months, often I act out towards my partner and throughout I am not confident with partner and feel like they're inadequate- typically I find faults and they begin to dominate my thoughts of that person.
My relationships tend to end abruptly and I cease contact. After which I can find myself regretting my actions towards them and subsequently i begin to talk to them- this leads to a very confused period where I am unsure then decide I usually decide that I was silly and then I become facinated by them and kinda obssese- this is bad.
Usually I convince them that I'm actually great and they should be with me again, and then there are alot of doubts and the person becomes a great pal who I sometimes see...
I often cheat on people I date, for instance I cheated on my first proper partner a total of 3 seperate occassions but with about 12-15 people ( I can't remember how many the first time).
My last relationship I cheated on her once, but kinda three times if you include the times that we were just 'seeing' each other.
I'm a jerk...



ZanneMarie
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17 Apr 2007, 6:08 am

I had one for five years, a string of disastrous first dates that I walked out on, on friend who became a boyfriend who became a friend again (no chemistry so that was a blip but he was my friend for years) and he introduced me to my husband who I've been with for 27 years.



Bart21
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17 Apr 2007, 6:14 am

It mainly depends on one factor.
Most women i get with wil fall madly in love and want to see me every day.
When they come every day i feel like i'm getting choked.
Those relationships are usually over within weeks.

The ones that give me enough space have lasted for years.

I have trouble understanding the madly in love thing as i haven't felt it ever myself.
To me it's more like a special female friend that i care alot for.
I don't want to see them every single day to be honest.
I also hate how women wanna talk on the phone or msn for hours.
Tbh the only way i like talking much is irl.



GenericBrandUserName
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17 Apr 2007, 8:50 am

The longest one I had lasted about four months. My shortest one lasted two days.

Huge time difference there, huh? |:



Grim
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17 Apr 2007, 9:06 am

My last one was a year and a half. Normally I leave after about two months because I don't feel there is any future, so why stay together and make the break-up harder in the end. Though I did not really feel there was a future with my last partner, I loved her very much so would have stayed with her until I didnt love her anymore. I do not normally fall in love, so the length of my relationships are normally determined by logic, rather than emotion.



RedMage
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18 Apr 2007, 5:56 am

I've only ever had online relationships, and they didn't last long. Now I'm dating Anubis online, and we've been dating for a few months now! *sigh* the Internet is great. :3



Kellaway225
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18 Apr 2007, 6:47 am

ive only had 2 real relationships and they last about a year ech the last time i had a girlfriend i was in year nine, that sounds really depressing and i feel really depressed when i think about the fact taht i havent had a girlfriend for so long even though i want one its just getting to know people...i just cant handle it



Graelwyn
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18 Apr 2007, 8:30 am

Only had 2 real life relationships. One lasted 5 and a half years. The other only lasted 6 weeks or so. I have had several relationships on the net, if one can call anything on the net a relationship. Both lasted about 8 months and were pretty intense, the latter involving phone calls to the USA.



MagicMike
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18 Apr 2007, 10:41 am

My general relationship lifespan is...0. Haven't had any =P



Kcihtred2
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18 Apr 2007, 10:57 am

i have never had a relationship



Aspie1
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18 Apr 2007, 9:40 pm

My first any only relationship lasted about a month.



saoirse_starr
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19 Apr 2007, 12:59 am

I'm NT but I do have social phobia - it's a LOT better than it used to be, but dating is still terrifying for me. I've had two 'relationships' that lasted for about 2 months each, but they were both pretty casual I'm not sure they were actual relationships. I am slowly getting better, but considering the minimal progress I've made over the past 10 years I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I'll be alone for the rest of my life.

Also, does anyone else get told, "It'll all be easy and you'll have no anxiety/problems when you meet the right person"? That frustrates me so much because it's really not true.