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JanuaryMan
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18 Oct 2012, 3:22 pm

Welcome back, how was your trip :lol:

DoodleDoo
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Joined: 31 Oct 2011
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 347
Location: SoCal/Los Angeles

18 Oct 2012, 3:59 pm

I have no answers, but I do have my experiences,
I have been cheated on by several neurotypical women.
Some with the identical situation that was presented by the original post.
Some would cheat on there long time boyfriends/husbands with me.
I remember in bed with this woman I am in bed with her, she is making excuses to a jealous boyfriend about what she is doing.
I have been with aspie girls, none have ever cheated on me. I was dating two girls at the same time one aspie one not they both knew about the other one. The aspie won me but later confessed how jealous she was and how she "did not like that girl!"

Some of the dating gurus out there talk about how women actually behave, although at this point I myself would not want to put my whole life into dating like those gurus do.

I think ideally I would like it if this area of my life was made simple as possible.

Has anyone ever been totally obsessed with someone "drunk on love thing" and they felt the same way back?

Taverson
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Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 433

18 Oct 2012, 4:32 pm

billiscool wrote:

Let say you meet a women. She is attractive,popular,cool and she shows in interest you and you find her attractive and you ask her out and
she say yes. OK let say the women turn out to be a complete b*tch, she is rude to you, she has no respect for you, she cheats on you,
would you stay with her?.
or would continue to date other women who are pretty and cool or would you be more wary?
Sadly, I know that alot of women will continue dating abusers because alot of abusers have ''confidence'' and ''game''
And alot of men will continue dating female abusers because they find them attractive and ''cool''

To be honest, I wouldn't be involved with her in the first place. I don't like "cool" people because I generally find their lack of uniqueness disturbing. Also I don't ask women out as a rule. I feel more comfortable if they ask me out. Only way I'd ever ask a girl out is if she was already a good friend who I got along with well.

Now to play along with your question.

If she was a complete..... and rude, disrespectful, and a cheater... I'd dump her without a second guess. The view may be nice but the skies are heavy with smog. You like the view of the city, but when you breath it in, you're poisoning yourself.

She could cry, play the manipulative games, etc. but she brought it on herself and I could feel no sympathy. I wouldn't dare trying to change her. People can only change themselves.

_________________
In the end, all you can hope for is the love you felt to equal the pain you've gone through.

AspieOtaku
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18 Oct 2012, 4:33 pm

Ive been in a very abusive relationship never again will I allow myself to be on one let alone be a door mat it tore me up inside mentally and I was driven to suicide. I guess luckily I did not succeed killing myself though.

_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList

Misslizard
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18 Oct 2012, 5:09 pm

Don't waste any time getting rid off an abusive,cheating ,manipulator,male or female.They do not change and you are wasting precious time being with them.Cut the thread and get out.Don't look back.

Blammo
Sea Gull

Joined: 9 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 217
Location: Chico, California

19 Oct 2012, 10:50 am

MXH wrote:

Laughed out loud! :lol:

And yes, this thread turned into a ridiculous debate about sexism and gender specific words which helped absolutely NO ONE.

I think keeping quiet unless you have something positive to say is a good rule of thumb. Why start a goddamn crusade about how a word is used? Especially when it really doesn't matter or contribute? Anyway, I got some good laughs from the extremist views on here.

So, OP, drop that foul creature. Thanks.

[/thread]

_________________
Since everyone else has this on their signatures.. might as well conform:

Your Aspie score: 121 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 107 of 200 You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

CrinklyCrustacean
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19 Oct 2012, 10:05 pm

To the OP: I'd try to understand why she suddenly did all this, but I'd have to think very carefully about whether I could take the risk of it happening again, and in the end I'd probably call off the relationship.

As for the debate about the word "b*tch", where I come from it is seen as the female equivalent of "b*stard". The two words carry the same force and intensity of feeling, and are gender-specific (I've never heard a woman called a b*stard or a man called a b*tch). People who use them aren't setting out to be sexist; it's just an unfortunate consequence of the fact that there are few other insults which are quite so potent.

thewhitrbbit
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20 Oct 2012, 12:22 am

billiscool wrote:

No two people are the same. I've met pretty and cool girls who have truly evil souls and pretty and cool girls who are the sweetest people you'll ever meet.

The trick is to not get dumb vagina/dick whipped syndrome (to the respective sex).

WantToHaveALife
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20 Oct 2012, 1:28 am

mds_02 wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

not sure, but something tells me Yes I would, because I would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, I just want to finally end the single streak, get the monkey off my back

Don't let loneliness turn you into that guy. I can tell you from experience that being single is definitely preferable to finding out, years in, that the person you love and trust doesn't love you back.

i still would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

DerStadtschutz
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20 Oct 2012, 1:42 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:

mds_02 wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

not sure, but something tells me Yes I would, because I would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, I just want to finally end the single streak, get the monkey off my back

i still would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

You'll learn someday. The trouble is, it won't happen until you've had your heart broken, and then you'll wish you'd listened. The point of dating/marrying someone is to be with someone who makes you happy; someone you can truly love. There's no love if someone's getting used or otherwise treated like s**t. And having your heart broken is one of the most painful experiences in life... At least it was for me.

mds_02
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20 Oct 2012, 10:34 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:

mds_02 wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

not sure, but something tells me Yes I would, because I would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, I just want to finally end the single streak, get the monkey off my back

i still would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

Loved and lost; sure. Loved and betrayed, publically humiliated, made to feel like half a man then, finally, abandoned; not so much.

Loneliness is awful. It's hell. But the worst part about it is the lengths people will go to to alleviate it. The terrible people they'll allow into their lives, the mistreatment they'll tolerate because they think that any attention is better than none.

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If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.

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J-Greens
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20 Oct 2012, 11:10 am

DerStadtschutz wrote:

You'll learn someday. The trouble is, it won't happen until you've had your heart broken, and then you'll wish you'd listened. The point of dating/marrying someone is to be with someone who makes you happy; someone you can truly love. There's no love if someone's getting used or otherwise treated like sh**. And having your heart broken is one of the most painful experiences in life... At least it was for me.

Have you ever heard of unrequited love?
Watching that person get married to somebody else, or become pregnant, knowing that you still love them regardless?
I'd rather take a week of any love going, than to keep on going without.

civrev
Blue Jay

Joined: 14 Jul 2012
Age: 38
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Posts: 90

20 Oct 2012, 4:18 pm

J-Greens wrote:

DerStadtschutz wrote:

You'll learn someday. The trouble is, it won't happen until you've had your heart broken, and then you'll wish you'd listened. The point of dating/marrying someone is to be with someone who makes you happy; someone you can truly love. There's no love if someone's getting used or otherwise treated like sh**. And having your heart broken is one of the most painful experiences in life... At least it was for me.

You might try getting a pet then, they'll love you unconditionally and you don't need to worry about them going off and getting married to someone else.

Taverson
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Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Age: 32
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Posts: 433

20 Oct 2012, 5:02 pm

civrev wrote:

J-Greens wrote:

DerStadtschutz wrote:

You'll learn someday. The trouble is, it won't happen until you've had your heart broken, and then you'll wish you'd listened. The point of dating/marrying someone is to be with someone who makes you happy; someone you can truly love. There's no love if someone's getting used or otherwise treated like sh**. And having your heart broken is one of the most painful experiences in life... At least it was for me.

You might try getting a pet then, they'll love you unconditionally and you don't need to worry about them going off and getting married to someone else.

I've known several people (mostly friends of friends) that are happier about being single when they get a pet and because of that aren't worried so much about getting into a relationship. And it usually worked out for them later on when they felt they could afford to be "picky". Many of them are still happily married.

As for the unconditionally, you're thinking of dogs. Not cats (whom I adore as opposed to dogs).

_________________
In the end, all you can hope for is the love you felt to equal the pain you've gone through.

J-Greens
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20 Oct 2012, 5:24 pm

civrev wrote:

You might try getting a pet then, they'll love you unconditionally and you don't need to worry about them going off and getting married to someone else.

Nice thought, and I have a pet anyway, but it's barely equal. Human contact. conversations all that, is what I need.

Taverson
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Joined: 11 Sep 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 433

20 Oct 2012, 5:41 pm

J-Greens wrote:

civrev wrote:

You might try getting a pet then, they'll love you unconditionally and you don't need to worry about them going off and getting married to someone else.

Nice thought, and I have a pet anyway, but it's barely equal. Human contact. conversations all that, is what I need.

Nothing wrong with that. I commend you for knowing what you need.

I for one am in that same boat.

_________________
In the end, all you can hope for is the love you felt to equal the pain you've gone through.

Last edited by Taverson on 20 Oct 2012, 5:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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